Posted in changes, failure, inspiration, life, personal, self-actualization

On success (pt. 1)

It’s likely that this year you have faced some failures. Some mishaps. Found yourself on a path that you’re not entirely proud of, but you are hoping for the best at this point. You are pretty certain that you are doing ok, but not sure what steps to take next to be great. The struggle comes from the realization that you are and probably always will be a failure in some way.

In the same vein though, you are the exact opposite of that. You are thriving and growing each and every day. Yay you! Alright, so let’s say it’s five years from now, you have achieved what you wanted and satisfaction is oh so sweet. You’re feeling not just happy, but pure contentment in your life and choices. Something is nagging at you though and it is the need to create. As humans we will always want to create something, it doesn’t matter your personality type (introverted or extroverted). However, creativity can lead to different happiness levels. Maybe your feelings on a certain subject or idea will change. Maybe you will hate everything about what your life has become up to that point. Maybe you wonder if you are not actually putting your time to good use. After all, creativity is everywhere and not everyone has to be a part of that. You can buy creativity but would it mean anything to you, would it have any value?

woman holding black flag
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Let me say this then. You’re a teacher. You’re a writer. You’re a U/X designer. You’re an IT professional. You’re a babysitter. You’re a grocery-store clerk. You’re a bookseller. You’re a librarian. You’re a barista. You are creative, but you a part of a generation that doesn’t value you. You’re part of a society that values things that are more practical because they make more sense for future generations. Things like STEM technology, e-commerce and trade, finance and banking, law, and medicine are jobs the world needs more than a teacher or writer. The things that you want to do may not lead you down an easy road to success. You definitely won’t get to where to want to be that quickly. You need the drive and patience to not give up.

Success will never be easy if you’re a teacher. You won’t be making much. You will be overworked. You might have to work two other jobs, at least. You will have to take care of other personal projects as they come. You have to fight your own battles out there you creative soul.

Success may make or break you. I hope that it will make you stronger, but it could very well be very hard to achieve and that alone could break you until you are a shattered mess. Hold strong and remember that success is not a shot in the dark but a glowing bright light in a room full of shadows.

You got this. I got this. We all got this.

(cover/featured image via Pexels photo gallery through WordPress).

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Posted in inspiration

A reminder to stay strong

Dreams are worth chasing. 

If you’re young and you really want something, you shouldn’t give up on the chance to have it. You shouldn’t let yourself feel like you need to give up on what makes you happy. Happiness is something different for everyone. It is something that radiates and shines from above. It brings you light.

Similarly, your life is an open-box that reflects everything that you have done thus far. The box is not empty yet. There are those that will demean you and say you are not fit for this or that. Maybe because of your gender, maybe because of your race, or maybe because of your intentions.

Throughout your life, you have been told that you can only do this and not that or you have been told that you can do something but with limitations. And you know those limitations exist because you believe in them. There’s a quote that you see on cute Pinterest posts that does ring true in this case: “Limits are just an illusion.” Be limitless. It’s an easy thing to say and its and even easier thing to type out. We all have limits and its ok to know what they are. To know what they stand for and why they are there. But, if we break one limit we have set for ourselves would everything really fall apart? Or would things instead fall right into place?

When you figure this out, then you’ll be golden. You’ll be wondering why you didn’t realize this so many years ago. Why you were so afraid. Maybe its the fear of failure or of being judged, but whatever it is it sneaks up on us and reminds us that we can’t do what we thought we could. Ignore that voice for a second.

Maybe you’re going through a rough patch, maybe things are amazing right now, or maybe you want to cry all the time. Either way, keep your head held high and don’t let anyone tell you to change yourself for reasons that hold you back. You can do great things.

I can do great things.

I have dreams like you do (yes, you have dreams. That nine to five is either a dream job or you’re still restless). Either way, let yourself dream. Let your mind wander and let yourself know that you can set your mind free. It’s a wonderful thing to set your mind and heart free by accepting yourself wholly.

Dream on because the chase has only just begun.

(Featured image/cover image source).

Posted in Uncategorized

Dreaming

People talk about their dreams all the time. Things they want to do, aspirations they might have, or goals they think they want to do but are sure they won’t because it’s just a dream after all. But what about those actual dreams?

Like, you know the ones that occur when you’re asleep. The one’s that might keep you up at night. The one’s that jolt you up in a hot sweat. Those dreams. I’m no dream scientist, but I feel that the dreams you have tell a story about your current state. Dreams of falling (I have this every now and then, and feel like I’ve fallen off the bed, when in truth I’m nowhere near the edge of falling off) indicate different things but probably show that you’re alive and have real thoughts. I remember some dreams, other not so much. But, the majority of my dreams that I let myself drift into are love related.

Because what is love? I don’t know. It sounds unreal and I have no idea if its a real thing. I write this while knowing that it very much is as I think back to watching a friend marry her best friend this past weekend. But love, sex, and travel are things I wonder about. Things I dream about and don’t know if it means something. Usually doesn’t, sometimes it means I’m lonely. Other times, it means it was just a dream.

I’m hoping to wake up and realize that these dreams will no longer be dreams. Am I still talking about the sleeping dreams or the ambition dreams? A little of both. The line is hazy at this point, but I hope that I can understand what it means to have my own dream.

Dream on.

Posted in goals, life

What do you REALLY want to do?

It’s time for what I like to call “Hopeful Musings” or if you prefer “Hopeless Musings.” Now, everybody just line up over there by the the door and before you step out of it, tell me this: What do you plan to accomplish one you step outside those doors and why does it matter to you? To anyone? Do you still plan on stepping outside that door? Have you even stepped outside the door in the last few months?

**

Alright, didn’t mean to get all motivational speaker on you there. The truth is as the months go by, I’m starting to see that if I want the future that I think about I need to put my thoughts into actions. No, the right guy is not going to come to my front door and I will not meet him on some chance encounter. This is because when I do take chances, I know what the outcome will be like. Usually. Not always. Ok, so I don’t know how to predict most things but for the most part I’m not crazy in thinking that I need to take charge of my own decisions.

So what do I want to do? I could answer that or I could ignore that and say something like “pilates is the best strength training ever. It tops everything.” But you seem (sorta) nice so I’ll say this: Like I’ve sort of said in previous posts, I want to do things that are interesting and relevant. I think this is not common for a young person to say these days, but I don’t want to be young and wild and free forever. I want a place of my own. It makes me a little sad to see people younger than me who have already got this part figured out, simply by buying a house or car. I can’t do any of those things and probably won’t be able to for many, many years. I live at home is why. I’m trying to leave, but I need to secure a job and a semblance of a good future for myself before jetting off because then I will just end up right where I started.

So reader, you’re reading this why again? Because you falsely thought it would give you the answers you need. But, it’s a question. Both rhetorical and real. What is the reason for wanting to do anything? 

A book I recently read centered around suicide, the quote “Everything affects everything” stuck out to me. Why? Because, when you think about it’s true.

Too much to think about in one post? Too many questions, not enough substance? Oh well, you came to the wrong place then.

Here’s some puppies to make it all better.

Posted in life

Decisions

In this particular moment I am at a crossroads. I am trying to decide whether it is in my best interest to travel, or just stay where I am and work on finding a steady job. Yes, travel is what I what. So. Much. But, I can’t push away the feeling that there is something out there for me–here. But, I just haven’t found it yet. But, at the same time I don’t know when I will or if I even will get whatever I want here (heck, I don’t even know what I’m looking for). OK, sorry, that’s a lot of “but’s.” I’m really uncertain. (I’m almost said “but” again). It’s hard. Change is hard and I think we all know that to some degree.

I want to write and everyday I think to myself, “I don’t really write enough.” I’m grateful for the people in my life now, but what happens in the future? I would like to have a chance to work somewhere I enjoy, with people that are great. I want to find that one person to spend my life with. I don’t want to end up alone, even though most days I already feel so alone. I’m not sure what steps to take next, but I know that my time is running out here. I need to think long and hard about what I want to do and think for real. I understand that not everything is about me, yet at the same time not everything is always going to be the same either. Everything happens for a reason, it’s just not always known right away (at least that’s what I’m told).

Anyway, back to the dilemna. I want to go with a group from school to Italy, but I am still so unsure. It’s time to make a decision though. Regarding not only insurance, but if anyone wants to come with me. Should I let my mom come with me? I wish I had more friends, this would allow for more options. It’s the opportunity, really of a lifetime. I can’t say that I will be spending all my time with my mother on the whole trip, but it would be nice to have someone there. I would not be so alone, while being alone with a group of people I barely know. I have one day to decide. This is important and I know that it doesn’t matter whether I go or not, but if I do go I will have to be thinking about things as well. Attending a meeting about it, if I make up my mind soon enough. Right now it might be a maybe. When I saw the email inviting me to go along, because of extra space I contacted the ladies in charge almost immediately if not right then. For me, making decisions is not definite which kills me and everyone else. I hate to keep people waiting, just like I hate to give up on myself but I probably am anyway. Whatever happens, happens. I only hope that I know what my reasons are and understand them fully.

“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” –E.B. White