Salagadoola mechicka boola
It’ll do magic, believe it or not
The everyday life you lead is probably not exciting, nor is it magical in any way. You would like to say you do so many cool things all the time. Things that make you feel like you are doing something worth your time. Of course, most of what you do is always worth it, but none of us see it that way because we always will want more. Will need more, will expect more, and will pursue more.
At the very least, what you can try to be is daring. Yeah, that’s a new thing you can strive for this year. No more wallowing. Yes, you wallow and it’s time to stop.
Daring in the sense that you are willing to not only go the extra step but also take a step back and right a wrong. Don’t hold grudges even if you think forgiveness is stupid. Dare yourself to walk for ten minutes a day. Dare yourself to read for ten minutes a day. Dare yourself to get off social media for twenty minutes a day. Dare yourself to not only say you’ll drink more water but actually do it, by throwing out all that La Croix or dumping it all out. You can never really run out of dares, you can just keep struggling to make yourself do them. However, that is not a failure but is admitting you have limits like most people.
I hope you do something pretty cool today. Maybe it won’t be that daring or maybe it will. Either way, I hope you feel great about it and you take the chance to better yourself in this way.
(please don’t dare yourself to steal things or kill someone).
Words: Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo from Cinderella (written in 1948 by Al Hoffman, Mack David, and Jerry Livingston).
It would appear as though the month of January would like to rear its head and leave.
It would appear as though something is going to happen soon, something monumental. Maybe it’s just on the brink or maybe its leading me to wonder what the brink even is.
Quite possibly it is leading me to want to find out more about the “thing.” The great and powerful “thing” that will be coming to a year near me soon. Not sure when, as the “thing” doesn’t always announce itself but fear should be minimized as it will pop up eventually. Or, probably the opposite since it is an unknown as to what the “thing” is. So fear it, love it, or hate it. It will occur in some form.
It would appear that the “thing” then doesn’t really matter. At least I would still have my sanity, my humanity and some trace of my dignity.
Wait, though. It would appear as though no one actually cares about things such as dignity and class anymore. They should. People are not robots as much as they would like to be.
It would appear then that things are happening. Good things or bad things? It’s not for me to say.
I’m feeling rather out of sorts lately. I have been neglecting a good workout. My body is craving a great workout right now and I can hear the muscles crying, but I just feel like there’s not enough time anymore. Of course, I don’t want it to be this way, that’s definitely not the way that I want to feel.
I know why I am not giving myself enough time these days. It’s mostly because I’m doing too many things (mostly before the sun rises) and doing my very best to be as productive as possible every day. I also am not super well rested because of this, but yoga does help with sleep a bit.
I know I’m part of a society that essentially thrives on work and work and work and work and then more work. Or, maybe “thrive” is not the right word because most people struggle with something. I hate the feeling of being in a struggle, but I’ve always felt to be “in a struggle” job-wise all through my twenties. The feelings never really went away. It’s now that I am realizing that they never will and I am not great at action, so struggle inevitably occurs anyway. There’s no need for it though, for anyone.
I think as a society we also take naps for granted. Some of us love to nap, others feel like it must be scheduled (though there are those times when you find yourself fall into a heap without any warning). Naps are great ways to build energy if it’s more mid-afternoon. However, I won’t judge you if you need to sleep after this in more of the late afternoon, stretching into evening territory.
A good sleep schedule is everything, yes. However, so is the ability to feel like you are doing something worth your time. So, you’re feeling so tired right? Just so so tired. Well, that’s ok because from what I heard life is pretty tiring you just learn how to manage yourself with new goals.
You’ll get there. I will get there too.
adj: 2. awake and out of bed.
I think that these days, I would like to say that I’m busy but still free.
I am taking the opportunities that are coming my way, but I want bigger things too. I want things that make me not question why I’m doing them. I’m sure in my heart what those things are, but speaking out about what I really want is not what the people around me want. The refrain I hear again and again is to just “stay.” To keep in the place that continues to be a place of despair, but one in which I feel pressured to stay in.
I need new experiences in different places. I haven’t been everywhere. Not by a long shot. I don’t really do bucket lists or things like that. I just make small lists and they are goals of things that I aim to achieve. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it does not.
In any case, I am striving to be something. To be someone, rather. I am still very much rooted in the ideals that I was brought up with, but I’m imagining myself apart from that as well. In a world in which I am free to do and see the things I yearn to do. It’s not that anyone is stopping me and it’s not that I am not able to go, its that responsibility pushes me to stop. Just stop and realize that all I might need is not far away after all.
However, while I’m keeping busy with numerous projects and work, I would still like more me time. More focus on what brings me joy.
When I get there, it will not be said in words but emotions.
Until then, I’ll be flying busy, free, and wild all at the same time. Every day.
It would seem that the world is on the brink of something again. Or maybe it always was and I just decided not to pay attention. Whichever way you look at it, from any angle, there is something turning. A quarter or two might have fallen into the age-old pot of desires and dreams that you think you have.
You don’t need to resolve to do anything if you can’t resolve why you got out of bed today. The simple things are the easy things that take time to do in everyday life. The things taken for granted which you don’t always think about, but matter so much.
So, ok maybe you don’t make goals. You wonder, though how to better yourself. How to be a better “version” of yourself, as people like to say. How, then to go about adjusting the sails on your thought boat?
Think of it this way: New hopes are not structured like goals might be, making them a bit hazier. So you have new hopes. You have low hopes and you have high hopes, but none of those hope-y things are really goals (at least, not in your mind).
So it’s likely that you’ll keep hoping and you’ll keep wondering your next step. It’s not something you or I will admit but we have a failure of being brave.
As I watched the Disney film Brave today, I was reminded that it takes courage to say what you want to do and mean it. It takes determination to want to do and be someone different. It might mean stepping outside of your comfort bubble, but when you do you will be more steadfast in your maybe goals for the future. Aren’t Disney movies great? I’m feeling exuberant about nothing and everything.
So, be hopeful. Be watchful. The world is waiting.
Sometimes I wish I grew up in the city. I could disperse into the crowd, unattached to outsiders. I might not know my neighbor, but that is the case in most places anyway. The feeling of walking out and not knowing what today will bring or who I might meet could be different but also the same. The main difference being it could take longer to get to places like the grocery store or anywhere really.
We live where we are though. We think about leaving but we don’t or can’t always leave the places that remain dear to us for so long. The characters of a place become part of our character. In another life, I would be living on the trains in New York going about my day as usual and wondering how people in small towns even manage. I would not be able to understand it because I had not lived it, but I would still think it to be a weird situation.
We live where we are. In the good times and in the bad. We mostly rely on those that love us to guide us to the places that give us great joy. More than that, we rely on the familiar because it just works. Comfort is a bubble we don’t want to escape, but reality is more severe and we will avoid that at all costs. So we’ll just sit back and do nothing, staying in the known and familiar because in most cases it is safe.
Everyone wants to be safe, but no one wants to be challenged.
People can be mean.
It doesn’t mean they have never been loved. It does not mean they think you are less than them. It might mean any number of things, you remind yourself as you try to not let the words get to you. Words are only words until they hurt. Sticks and stones can break you, but words will always hurt you inside more. However, if you keep faking it and continue to tell yourself that “words won’t hurt me” then you start to believe this until eventually, you are braver than you think. You can do anything because you are not afraid. You have pain, yes. But that pain is only secondary to the gratitude you will feel at having realized that the only person making it worse is you.
People can be selfish
Maybe you argue that you are also selfish. You are the bearer of your own problems and take full responsibility for all your actions. Possibly, however, all this creates a cycle of hating oneself. It doesn’t stop so easily once you have started either. You want what works for you, what is convenient for you and what allows you to do as little effort as possible. You know you can do more, you know you are capable but you rely on instinct as a reminder of what to do next. There’s nothing wrong with this, but when more than one person is involved it’s a tricky line between selfishness and laziness.
People can judge
Mostly because they don’t know you and also because making judgments about people we do not know is what society loves the most. A recent question I was asked revolved around me and danced around the idea of me being qualified as well as dependable. It started innocently enough, with a meaning to give new life to a certain place with the end result landing in uncertainty and slashed hopes. The question I was asked after going through my educational background and experience was: “are your parents here?” That’s all. A quick check to ask if I am legal in a way that does not seem offensive. It was anyway. I am legal. I am dependable. I am honest. I can give you what you are looking for, if only it was white.
People are not you
I know that you’re pretty awesome. I’m awesome too, by the way. I’m rooting for myself every day to reach the goals I set for myself. I hope that you are able to reach your own dreams as well. You probably already know this, but people are terrible and will try to bring you down. You can’t let them try to tear your mind open. You have to stand firm and allow yourself the knowledge that you are wiser than “them.” Why? Because you are not going to let the frustrations of disappointment get to you. No, you must not because when you do that you have let them won and you definitely do not want that. You are great and they are envious. Not all people can make their own personal goals, they must copy other goals.