That feeling of feeling lost or overwhelmed is evident when you decide to not set goals. Maybe you say you have “no goals”, but ultimately everyone has an endgame. There is a destination that we’re all hoping to get to one day, hopefully not by wasted dream but instead by manifested reality.
In all my wildest dreams, I always imagined myself to be doing the things that matter. The things that will make me a “somebody,” as if I am not already. It is as if I have some kind of aim to be famous, but no exact direction to get there. My kind of fame is the sort where I wonder what I am doing wasting my time with no plan, but feel happy regardless. No, not happy in spite of or because of. Simply happy, because I do have what I need.
Anyway, as I’m reflecting on how to get myself out there I know I don’t need to at the same time. I can be content being a nobody to most people, because to the ones that count I am a somebody. Also, according to physics, we are all just bits of stars.
It would seem that in most areas of life, people are trying to get by on the promise of greatness someone else told them. It’s possible that greatness will not be achieved nor will it amount to any real goals. Not unless it is acted upon.
I’ve noticed that people that do great are those that, among other things, are early risers. Now, I do love sleeping but I also love to be productive and not waste time in the day. In a habit that I could break any day now, I wake up way before the sun and then stay up working on other tasks that take time but are better achieved in the morning hours. The reason for my early get-up has to do with the online work I do, but I have grown to see the benefits of waking up early the more that I do it.
There a feeling of duty and not laziness. Sure, you might love to crawl back into bed and into those warm blankets but you got yourself up for a reason. You want to work on a certain task(s) and this is the time to do it. Yes social media is there, but it’s quiet. Most people are sleeping when you are working on your self. Great work. Maybe if you’re up for it, you can squeeze in a morning workout as well. This can help energize the rest of your day and 11 pm will really start to feel like how your mother described it once as “half the day gone” because you have been so productive in the morning.
So maybe you’re reading this while drinking coffee. Maybe you’re sick and lying on your computer all day. It’s possible you don’t want to be a morning person. No one said you had to be, you do have to find the way to make your goals happen that work best for you.
Maybe someone once told you that you can’t do something and now it’s making you feel like more than a failure than usual. Someone might have told you “if this can’t work next month, then goodbye” or “hope it all works out for you.” These are only examples of things that will bring your self-esteem more down than you need it to be.
To get that self-esteem back, the best thing to remember is that you can’t live up to any expectations others set. You are your own person and you have your own goals. Achieve them on your own time and level. It’s best to think about it this way: Your success does not denote you to the same achievements as others, because those goals are not always what you really want.
What you really want then is to carve out a kind of goal that makes you feel fulfilled. Makes you wonder how you got so lucky at that thing called life. You didn’t, luck is not part of the deal it’s all chance and hard work (unless you don’t play by the rules).
You will get pushed aside and disregarded. It’s part of the goal to get you to a happier place and despite your best efforts, you will still not get where you need to be and what you want without a little pushback. The key is to not let those negative pushes turn into drawbacks for you. Keep striving and keep fighting.
The biggest battle to fight is that which is within yourself. You might not ever overcome it, or pull back from it in pieces and shards only. This is fine, as long as it makes you remember to stay on the path and push forward. Mistakes are just that: Mistakes. They are not an error on you or your character, think differently about your past choices this way.
I was recently reminded that not everything is easy. Just because you might have had one great, but ultimately unfulfilling experience that looks great on a resume doesn’t mean that you will have success with your next endeavors. In all probability, you will fail and fail terribly. It might take some time to come to the realization that what others around you already know: Success must be earned and takes time.
Being someone that for some reason wants to teach, it’s not easy to step into the field. In a time when everyone is cynical and few actually appreciate teachers, being able to do the job right is a strength that many lack. This includes me. I hope that over time, I will be able to look back on the students I have worked with and feel proud to have been in their life. I already have some students who I know I am influencing directly in a positive way. I know that every student is different and not everyone learns the same either. I know that managing a classroom is the hardest part of teaching and I haven’t really mastered it yet. I know where my strengths lie and know ways to make my weaknesses better, however, I do admit to having limits as well. As do most people. I’m certainly no expert in the education field, but working and helping with others is what I know I will continue to do in some form all my life.
Maybe I’m not passionate enough. Maybe I’m not strong enough. These are all things we might tell ourselves in order to remind us that it’s ok to fail, at least this once. Maybe the rejections hurt in the moment, but they don’t really define who we are. I know that I can’t let any bad decisions or rejections turn me upside down. I will instead focus on what I can do and why I want to do the things I do.
The truth is, it might take 30 job rejections to realize you don’t know if you want what you’re seeking. However, at 10 more rejections, you know that you can do what you set your mind to and it doesn’t matter what others might think of you. You can reach your highest potential and achieve great success within yourself.
It’s likely that this year you have faced some failures. Some mishaps. Found yourself on a path that you’re not entirely proud of, but you are hoping for the best at this point. You are pretty certain that you are doing ok, but not sure what steps to take next to be great. The struggle comes from the realization that you are and probably always will be a failure in some way.
In the same vein though, you are the exact opposite of that. You are thriving and growing each and every day. Yay you! Alright, so let’s say it’s five years from now, you have achieved what you wanted and satisfaction is oh so sweet. You’re feeling not just happy, but pure contentment in your life and choices. Something is nagging at you though and it is the need to create. As humans we will always want to create something, it doesn’t matter your personality type (introverted or extroverted). However, creativity can lead to different happiness levels. Maybe your feelings on a certain subject or idea will change. Maybe you will hate everything about what your life has become up to that point. Maybe you wonder if you are not actually putting your time to good use. After all, creativity is everywhere and not everyone has to be a part of that. You can buy creativity but would it mean anything to you, would it have any value?
Let me say this then. You’re a teacher. You’re a writer. You’re a U/X designer. You’re an IT professional. You’re a babysitter. You’re a grocery-store clerk. You’re a bookseller. You’re a librarian. You’re a barista. You are creative, but you a part of a generation that doesn’t value you. You’re part of a society that values things that are more practical because they make more sense for future generations. Things like STEM technology, e-commerce and trade, finance and banking, law, and medicine are jobs the world needs more than a teacher or writer. The things that you want to do may not lead you down an easy road to success. You definitely won’t get to where to want to be that quickly. You need the drive and patience to not give up.
Success will never be easy if you’re a teacher. You won’t be making much. You will be overworked. You might have to work two other jobs, at least. You will have to take care of other personal projects as they come. You have to fight your own battles out there you creative soul.
Success may make or break you. I hope that it will make you stronger, but it could very well be very hard to achieve and that alone could break you until you are a shattered mess. Hold strong and remember that success is not a shot in the dark but a glowing bright light in a room full of shadows.
You got this. I got this. We all got this.
(cover/featured image via Pexels photo gallery through WordPress).
I don’t think its likely that you have any bad qualities. It might be that you have some of the things that people warn you about to avoid while also having “tendencies.”
Those tendencies are what lead us to different ways of thinking, or imagining what we could be if we didn’t try so hard to fail. It’s possible that you have ignored all advice and failed anyway. There is a bright light in there somehow that reminds you that you are doing the best you can in the current circumstances. It’s all fine and good until the luck starts to change for you and second-guessing everything becomes your nature.
This isn’t meant to be dreary or look down on anyone. It’s just a reminder that you are still working hard every day to do and be well because you are scared of a terrible outcome. Don’t worry, most of us are. It will come with time that you realize that the only thing holding you back is yourself. You might tend to favor the more comfortable over the more arduous and the more mundane over the spontaneous. You tell yourself that “no, not me. I’m different” but the truth is that it’s hard to change what is so every day. It’s hard to become a different version of yourself.
You really shouldn’t have to change yourself, unless you feel it would lead you somewhere amazing. Even then, never change a thing about your character, your personality, and yes even your personal tendencies. Those small things make you who you are and continue to push you every day (your ticks will push you every day to do whatever it is you need to do/or not do).
It’s a time when goals are changed. Reassessed to see if they are doing what they should be. Sometimes those goals are not met, causing one to reevaluate what has gone wrong. Because something went wrong. Somewhere.
If you’re feeling like you messed up or you need to push yourself a little more, then stop wondering and make a plan. This is probably easier said than done, however making a plan and staying with it will help to keep you on track and not feel as though you are terribly failing.
An idea to do just that:
Log off. Right now, or at least finish reading this since you started (but if you stop here, then I wouldn’t even be mad). It sounds so so simple, but it’s really not. At any time today, I can almost guarantee that you will spend more than 20 minutes just scrolling through social media feeds on your phone.
I don’t know your life or your job, but it is likely you have a smartphone and love your various apps. Everyone does, but admitting to this is not the easiest for anyone.
Some like to say they are social media “lightweights” (this is what I would say because I was classified as this once in a quiz taken in some museum). Others will say they are “heavyweights” because they need social media as it not only part of their job or work but also their life. Alright, not a problem. Everyone can do their own thing, whatever. The idea is that you make the choice of what you want to do next. Make the choice that serves you best.
Hopefully, this means you strategize. Rethink and replan what your life looks like from here to the next two years. Or just six months. Planning ahead might seem difficult, especially if you don’t have much currently so everything goes to the bills.
However, planing out ahead still has long-term strengths in that it will aid in helping you work towards more achievable goals. I couldn’t say what those goals are (different for everyone), but maybe its something like saving up for a new car. What kind of car do you want? Are you willing to compromise? Organize a plan for how this will happen now and maybe six months or a year from now you will get that car you want. You will feel so great once you achieve the goal you have been seeking out for so long.
After that, you will continue to work towards rewards that you set for yourself (however, please please do not go crazy and overspend). Money is valuable but not as valuable as you.