Posted in failure, goals, inspiration

The art of failing

You forgot to pick up the milk again. You forgot to make sure that you will be writing down your goals this week or this month and now you are flailing around trying to “just get through the week.” Stop sucking and start being awesome is what I’m trying to say.

So you failed. Not a big deal, but at the moment in which the failure is happening that is not what you want to hear. You want to hear why you failed. Why are you screwing up so badly? Again? A common refrain you might utter: what did I do wrong? You probably forgot to check something or do that other thing or tell someone something. Either way, it’s on you only because you said so

Here’s a piece of advice that you can either take to heart or ignore completely (no in between, because you might be a cynic at this point): There are too many definitions of failure, but they will all amount to the basic idea that success was not or is not achieved. Or the second result from Google: 2. the omission of expected or required action. One might not know what that action is or refers to, but it is not reaching the goal. Trying and failing is standard in the book of failures. Those that live a life in which everything amounts to lowered expectations are not seeing failure for what it is. It is the idea of giving up, of throwing in the towel, all those euphemisms.

Failure is not an excuse to stop trying, but a reason to try differently. It is not a sign of your weakness that you feel the need to stop, but a sign of your own limits. Know those limits, you don’t have to cross them until you feel you are ready. Or maybe your limits will sink you like comfort sinks you like an anchor. It’s great to try, but even greater is the willingness to try a new idea. A new way to think about analyzing failure will eventually lead you to small successes. You will get that job. You will get a new place. You will find growth in your own small victories. Of course, analyzing too hard will only lead you to rethink everything and view failure as the only option.

It’s by design that way. You are already failing, so what’s another courageous try going to do?

Let’s try to have those new ideas and embrace all the bad flaws. The bad flaws are the good flaws now, now don’t go googling any more articles that leave you questioning.

Here’s to you. You are the most underrated human that is so awesome in your not fails.

giphy1
Giphy source: Busch Beer
Advertisements
Posted in failure, inspiration, life, personal, self-actualization

Just fail it all out

I’ve probably written about this before, but failure will happen to you. It will hurt and will leave you feeling worthless and might cause you to abandon ship on your current plan. Maybe you need to shift your ideas a bit or reframe your mind. Idealistically, it would appear as though you have to move forward and remember that failing is part of life, as the quotes like to say. So what do you say you give it a try?

***

I have a hard time giving this a try because I need time to unwind after a big fail. I should be able to just jump back into action, but I cannot. It feels like everything else I try will just end up in failure anyway so what would be the point. I try to remind myself that I need to at least want to achieve more. It can be difficult to want to try but giving ourselves that needed opportunity can make all the difference.

I’m in rebound from a mistake that led me to doubt why I even try. All I wanted was a job, but settling for even that can have a price. If your whole heart is not in your work, it will show. Have passion, have the drive and you will succeed. If not, then I hope you find it someday. If not, someone else will notice what you already knew full well but were ignoring. The pain of failure will stab you in the chest and you will remember that only you make the choices in your life. The decision to leave or move on comes down to how your mind reacts. Sometimes our mind reacts quickly to failing, other times not so fast but that’s ok.

Once we realize that we have failed, we move on. The final step is always acceptance. Don’t let it cloud your thoughts for too long or you will be stuck in an endless loop of questioning your self-worth. If you’re currently back in the loop or can’t get out, let me say this: Just step out. It might sound simple, but you have to do something different now. Your plan didn’t work. But I had no plan b, you think and ok but you still move forward regardless. We try and then we fail. Then we try again and we fail some more, but if you stop altogether you have let the people who want to see you fail most win. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to quit. Find another way to get to your goal. Restart. Reimagine what you could be. It doesn’t’ have to end in hopelessness every time.

Feel happy with your goals because you made them and you will achieve them too.

featured image

Posted in changes, Community, inspiration

On losing things and people

Tragedy is one of those things in which you forget to live. Forget your reason for living. Maybe you know that “life must go on” but you can’t imagine possibly doing that. How could you when you’ve lost practically everything of worth?

On that note, no one expects anyone to grieve in great celebration. Because obviously, this is not a time to celebrate anything. It’s a time to reflect, sure, but the sadness that is coated in that reflection can leave one feeling pretty bleak. It’s probably why so many force themselves to “celebrate life.” Because the truth is that we cannot ignore that we are alive. Life should be celebrated no matter who or what is in question. No matter their deeds. No matter what. Celebrate the moments, even if they were brief to let yourself know that you are alright. To feel something. An emotion that releases great power within you will be the light that shines the brightest for you.

So as you think about the things you lost, also think about the things you have not. The things that are leading you to the happy moments right now. You are happy. You are content at the very least. You are not going to let small fears define you. It doesn’t have to be so easy to make you feel as though you are not worth anything. You are worth more than all the terrible things that could possibly occur to you. Because bad things don’t always define a person. Circumstance might, but sometimes that knocks the wind a bit too. What do you have left? You have hope. Hold onto that hope because you can’t let it down.

****

It might be hard to cope. It might be hard to even think of the word cope on the spot. Forget about a eulogy, you need to breathe. Everyone needs solace in a time of great fear. In a time when everything and everyone seems uncertain, you seek refuge in the familiar. When the winds continue to blow in the wrong direction, you start to wonder why you even cared that they blew in that direction. Maybe your house fell apart. Maybe your store is flooded. Maybe your school is closed and maybe you are having a meltdown and tore whatever you have left apart. You are screaming. You are sitting on the floor now. Your hands are on your knees and you weep. For those you have lost. For the things you could not save. For the years and time you will never get back. You cry because you failed. You hold onto the bed behind you and feel its stench. It’s all too much. It smells like failure, too. Then, you stay on the floor for a long time. You don’t come out of the room because going out would mean facing a sad reality no one should have to endure. Your heart breaks just thinking about walking past the door. More hours pass. You finally have to get up to relieve yourself. You realize things cannot be healed without time. You call a loved one. You feel grateful. You call a friend, you make a plan to help out. Your community needs you. You need them. Work with those around you to help cope, to help rebuild.

Life has to go on, but healing will always have slow moving steps to the finish line. The finish line being wherever you want it to be, as long as it brings a future of happy moments and less hate on yourself.

 

(featured image)

 

Posted in life

Finding the mission

It’s weird how weathermen predict the weather. It can be stranger, still how penguins walk funny. Even weirder, why dolphins are dol-phins. That made no sense.

I could write many a random thing, but since no one really cares to read it all I would probably stop. What would be the point anyway. Why is there so much violence in the world? Why do people get married and divorce? Why does anything ever happen?

I wish I could say that people have some control over their actions, but there are a lot that don’t. It’s just a fact. One that we all have to live with and deal with.

I’m still trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. I’ve started to realize that I won’t figure it out so quickly though and it will probably take some failings and then some uncertainty and then some awkward success that I’m not super happy about. I don’t know what “awkward” success. I think I just made that a thing. I know, I know. All success should be praised, should be encouraged and should be positioned as the strongest part of your daily failings.

What about those jobs that no one wants, but one person does have to do?  What about getting a job that you thought you wanted, but its not what you imagined it to be at all. What about realizing that you’re failing at something in the workplace and not even caring about it a great deal as much as you should be? That might be awkward or it could just be you deciding that you want to fail. Don’t decide you want to fail. Push harder, strive higher.

I say all this, while knowing that I failed pretty hard myself but there’s no way I’m looking back on that and thinking too hard about it. I have to move on and if that means forgetting about past regrets or mistakes then bring on the clean slate of possibilities. I would hope that those of you wanting to make some changes in your life–just try to do it.

You might not exactly know what you’re doing at this moment (or maybe you had a career change), but I can promise you that if you give yourself time you will find whatever that is.

You will be lost forever if you let yourself believe that–I’m deciding not to think that way anymore. It requires changing a mindset that might have been there for awhile and was convenient for getting out of some things. Ex: “I can’t find a job, I’m just so lost, “I’m going to travel to find myself, “I’m still lost in the world.” Things like that that if you were to say in a job interview would get blank stares because what does that even mean? Traveling to find yourself? Why not just travel to travel? Like, to enjoy yourself. You don’t have to actually find anything. When you do that, you’ll let yourself discover things you weren’t looking for in the first place.

So, my mission: To be happy (as always) and to do things that I not only enjoy but spread joy to others as well.

Stay safe and happy.

feature image source