Posted in changes, failure, goals, inspiration

On Success (pt. 3)

Maybe someone once told you that you can’t do something and now it’s making you feel like more than a failure than usual. Someone might have told you “if this can’t work next month, then goodbye” or “hope it all works out for you.” These are only examples of things that will bring your self-esteem more down than you need it to be.

To get that self-esteem back, the best thing to remember is that you can’t live up to any expectations others set. You are your own person and you have your own goals. Achieve them on your own time and level. It’s best to think about it this way: Your success does not denote you to the same achievements as others, because those goals are not always what you really want.

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Photo by Sayantan Kundu on Pexels.com

What you really want then is to carve out a kind of goal that makes you feel fulfilled. Makes you wonder how you got so lucky at that thing called life. You didn’t, luck is not part of the deal it’s all chance and hard work (unless you don’t play by the rules).

You will get pushed aside and disregarded. It’s part of the goal to get you to a happier place and despite your best efforts, you will still not get where you need to be and what you want without a little pushback. The key is to not let those negative pushes turn into drawbacks for you. Keep striving and keep fighting.

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Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

The biggest battle to fight is that which is within yourself. You might not ever overcome it, or pull back from it in pieces and shards only. This is fine, as long as it makes you remember to stay on the path and push forward. Mistakes are just that: Mistakes. They are not an error on you or your character, think differently about your past choices this way.

You’re doing great, why stop now?

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Posted in changes, failure, inspiration, life, personal, self-actualization

On success (pt. 1)

It’s likely that this year you have faced some failures. Some mishaps. Found yourself on a path that you’re not entirely proud of, but you are hoping for the best at this point. You are pretty certain that you are doing ok, but not sure what steps to take next to be great. The struggle comes from the realization that you are and probably always will be a failure in some way.

In the same vein though, you are the exact opposite of that. You are thriving and growing each and every day. Yay you! Alright, so let’s say it’s five years from now, you have achieved what you wanted and satisfaction is oh so sweet. You’re feeling not just happy, but pure contentment in your life and choices. Something is nagging at you though and it is the need to create. As humans we will always want to create something, it doesn’t matter your personality type (introverted or extroverted). However, creativity can lead to different happiness levels. Maybe your feelings on a certain subject or idea will change. Maybe you will hate everything about what your life has become up to that point. Maybe you wonder if you are not actually putting your time to good use. After all, creativity is everywhere and not everyone has to be a part of that. You can buy creativity but would it mean anything to you, would it have any value?

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Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Let me say this then. You’re a teacher. You’re a writer. You’re a U/X designer. You’re an IT professional. You’re a babysitter. You’re a grocery-store clerk. You’re a bookseller. You’re a librarian. You’re a barista. You are creative, but you a part of a generation that doesn’t value you. You’re part of a society that values things that are more practical because they make more sense for future generations. Things like STEM technology, e-commerce and trade, finance and banking, law, and medicine are jobs the world needs more than a teacher or writer. The things that you want to do may not lead you down an easy road to success. You definitely won’t get to where to want to be that quickly. You need the drive and patience to not give up.

Success will never be easy if you’re a teacher. You won’t be making much. You will be overworked. You might have to work two other jobs, at least. You will have to take care of other personal projects as they come. You have to fight your own battles out there you creative soul.

Success may make or break you. I hope that it will make you stronger, but it could very well be very hard to achieve and that alone could break you until you are a shattered mess. Hold strong and remember that success is not a shot in the dark but a glowing bright light in a room full of shadows.

You got this. I got this. We all got this.

(cover/featured image via Pexels photo gallery through WordPress).

Posted in personal, writing

write write write

man notebook notes macbook
Photo by Startup Stock Photos on Pexels.com

This is just a new week reminder that you’ve got to keep pushing through. You’ve just got to. Yes, this is the normal new week routine, however, sticking through with a normal schedule will leave you feeling at ease and ready to start your day.

It might be easy advice. Or maybe its easier said than done, I’m not always sure. Either way, you can do one thing every day and no it will not take away from the rest of your day. It might even add to your day and make it more productive. Start your day with writing. Write about anything and write about what you like. It doesn’t need to be your goals for the day or things that need to get done. No, save that stress for right now for like an hour. Write about nothing, be random its ok.

If you’re of the many that are trying to write a novel in a month, then I applaud you and hope you stay with it. I hope you are able to keep writing and striving each day you decide to work on your novel. Maybe it won’t win any prizes and it’s most likely terrible, but keep going. Always keep that momentum going even though it might not make sense now to keep going. In fact, it might make you feel as though you are wasting time to continue on the path you are in your writing. Maybe you want to write, or you are giving up on the novel writing and it’s only the fifth day.

It’s entirely possible that you will do one of three things after reading or skimming through this blog post: Log on and watch some Netflix, read and reply to some emails, or scroll endlessly on your phone on social media. I mean, unless you have actual work to do there are not many options for you. So just, write. Write it all out. There’s nothing to lose and a lot to gain just by writing a few sentences a day.

Or if you’re me, you write a blog post more than you work on that dang novel thing.

Posted in changes, goals

Reorganizing

It’s a time when goals are changed. Reassessed to see if they are doing what they should be. Sometimes those goals are not met, causing one to reevaluate what has gone wrong. Because something went wrong. Somewhere.

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If you’re feeling like you messed up or you need to push yourself a little more, then stop wondering and make a plan. This is probably easier said than done, however making a plan and staying with it will help to keep you on track and not feel as though you are terribly failing.

An idea to do just that:

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gif found here

Log off. Right now, or at least finish reading this since you started (but if you stop here, then I wouldn’t even be mad). It sounds so so simple, but it’s really not. At any time today, I can almost guarantee that you will spend more than 20 minutes just scrolling through social media feeds on your phone.

I don’t know your life or your job, but it is likely you have a smartphone and love your various apps. Everyone does, but admitting to this is not the easiest for anyone.

Some like to say they are social media “lightweights” (this is what I would say because I was classified as this once in a quiz taken in some museum). Others will say they are “heavyweights” because they need social media as it not only part of their job or work but also their life. Alright, not a problem. Everyone can do their own thing, whatever. The idea is that you make the choice of what you want to do next. Make the choice that serves you best.

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gif from here (tumblr)

Hopefully, this means you strategize. Rethink and replan what your life looks like from here to the next two years. Or just six months. Planning ahead might seem difficult, especially if you don’t have much currently so everything goes to the bills.

However, planing out ahead still has long-term strengths in that it will aid in helping you work towards more achievable goals. I couldn’t say what those goals are (different for everyone), but maybe its something like saving up for a new car. What kind of car do you want? Are you willing to compromise? Organize a plan for how this will happen now and maybe six months or a year from now you will get that car you want. You will feel so great once you achieve the goal you have been seeking out for so long.

After that, you will continue to work towards rewards that you set for yourself (however, please please do not go crazy and overspend). Money is valuable but not as valuable as you.

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gif from here (tumblr and giphy)

Keep reaching those goals, friends. ❤

Posted in failure, goals, life, self-actualization, society

To miss

It’s not like you mean to. It’s not like you want to either. You tell yourself that you are ok, that you are doing fine–great even. It is to no avail. You are in a terrible state of heartache that you fear you are only covering up and not setting free.

It’s a great tragedy of the world that heartbreak happens to everyone. At any point in one’s life. It just does. Most people find a way to get through it one way or another, while others avoid talking about it for some time as a way to help with coping. No one is saying this out loud, but what one really needs is to go back to what they once had but not in the same way because that would be a step backward but in a way that reminds them that those memories were great for a reason. Hopefully, by now you have figured out that you need to own up to which memories you are willing to part with. Because you must.

You do not need to be defined by a certain set of life experiences or background. You probably don’t need to be defined by anything, however, society and the workplace would think differently. In which case, it’s important to reframe what we want and make that our goal. Don’t let past mistakes or judgments cloud your thoughts. It’s not about that, it’s about what you want right now.

It won’t be easy. It will be a long road and you will probably revert back to your old ways at some point if your plans fall through. If your old self was a bad version of yourself that you disliked, then force yourself away from that mindset. Strive to create a better you just by writing down three things you will do in one day. It will make you rebalance and restructure what matters most. Possibly lead you to wonder who matters most, though in the cases where you are confident in what you want you don’t need to question who or what matters the most. In all cases, you should matter most. However, we usually forget this and focus all energy on other tasks. More important things we like to say.

Maybe you just miss what you used to have. Or maybe not at all. Yes, you do, you sincerely and honestly do miss things and people at times. It’s a truth that not everyone can say because it admits to having some fears. Missing a home when you are away or missing family or missing friends are all things that you might feel constantly. You move on though because “missing” is too much and you don’t have time for too much. Not today anyway. You forget, though that the experiences you had make you great. They make you who you are. Miss out on not reaching the goals you thought about way back when and you start to think that you are doing something wrong.

Reminder: You are doing everything right in the best way that you can

(Featured/cover image belongs to the writer).

Posted in failure, goals, inspiration

Adrift but sailing away

We all have things that we might have lost. Or people we have lost. The moments we lost are somewhere in our brain, the good ones embedded there forever.

In a way, it can take guts to admit to being afraid. To admit to losing someone or something. It’s not easy to say you might not be as daring as you had hoped. It’s ok, being human is not always easy.

It’s so comforting to assume a likeminded presence around those that you know best. You are your most genuine self around the people you trust the most. When that’s taken away, you might feel empty or afraid. Nervous or anxious. Possibly worried about your next step, but pushing through because that is just what you do. Self-doubt continues to creep into your mind as you feel a need to be alone and seek some type of internal solace for your choices. The fear of rejection keeps you on the edge, but the greater fear is knowing you will have to do it alone. Don’t we face all obstacles in life alone, anyway?

You’re never really alone though. Someone will try to support you, but not everyone will understand or want to understand your goals. Everyone on this Earth has their own life to live and their own secrets that the ones closest to them will probably never know. It’s not introversion, it’s people choosing to plan their own lives because they’re taking responsibility for their own lives.  You can do the same, I know I can.

Be honest with what you want and you will be happy to know that you will get it (whatever you seek) eventually, with time and patience.

All the best.

(Featured Image from Pexels Photo Gallery via WordPress).

Posted in failure, goals, inspiration

The art of failing

You forgot to pick up the milk again. You forgot to make sure that you will be writing down your goals this week or this month and now you are flailing around trying to “just get through the week.” Stop sucking and start being awesome is what I’m trying to say.

So you failed. Not a big deal, but at the moment in which the failure is happening that is not what you want to hear. You want to hear why you failed. Why are you screwing up so badly? Again? A common refrain you might utter: what did I do wrong? You probably forgot to check something or do that other thing or tell someone something. Either way, it’s on you only because you said so

Here’s a piece of advice that you can either take to heart or ignore completely (no in between, because you might be a cynic at this point): There are too many definitions of failure, but they will all amount to the basic idea that success was not or is not achieved. Or the second result from Google: 2. the omission of expected or required action. One might not know what that action is or refers to, but it is not reaching the goal. Trying and failing is standard in the book of failures. Those that live a life in which everything amounts to lowered expectations are not seeing failure for what it is. It is the idea of giving up, of throwing in the towel, all those euphemisms.

Failure is not an excuse to stop trying, but a reason to try differently. It is not a sign of your weakness that you feel the need to stop, but a sign of your own limits. Know those limits, you don’t have to cross them until you feel you are ready. Or maybe your limits will sink you like comfort sinks you like an anchor. It’s great to try, but even greater is the willingness to try a new idea. A new way to think about analyzing failure will eventually lead you to small successes. You will get that job. You will get a new place. You will find growth in your own small victories. Of course, analyzing too hard will only lead you to rethink everything and view failure as the only option.

It’s by design that way. You are already failing, so what’s another courageous try going to do?

Let’s try to have those new ideas and embrace all the bad flaws. The bad flaws are the good flaws now, now don’t go googling any more articles that leave you questioning.

Here’s to you. You are the most underrated human that is so awesome in your not fails.

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Giphy source: Busch Beer