Tragedy is one of those things in which you forget to live. Forget your reason for living. Maybe you know that “life must go on” but you can’t imagine possibly doing that. How could you when you’ve lost practically everything of worth?
On that note, no one expects anyone to grieve in great celebration. Because obviously, this is not a time to celebrate anything. It’s a time to reflect, sure, but the sadness that is coated in that reflection can leave one feeling pretty bleak. It’s probably why so many force themselves to “celebrate life.” Because the truth is that we cannot ignore that we are alive. Life should be celebrated no matter who or what is in question. No matter their deeds. No matter what. Celebrate the moments, even if they were brief to let yourself know that you are alright. To feel something. An emotion that releases great power within you will be the light that shines the brightest for you.
So as you think about the things you lost, also think about the things you have not. The things that are leading you to the happy moments right now. You are happy. You are content at the very least. You are not going to let small fears define you. It doesn’t have to be so easy to make you feel as though you are not worth anything. You are worth more than all the terrible things that could possibly occur to you. Because bad things don’t always define a person. Circumstance might, but sometimes that knocks the wind a bit too. What do you have left? You have hope. Hold onto that hope because you can’t let it down.
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It might be hard to cope. It might be hard to even think of the word cope on the spot. Forget about a eulogy, you need to breathe. Everyone needs solace in a time of great fear. In a time when everything and everyone seems uncertain, you seek refuge in the familiar. When the winds continue to blow in the wrong direction, you start to wonder why you even cared that they blew in that direction. Maybe your house fell apart. Maybe your store is flooded. Maybe your school is closed and maybe you are having a meltdown and tore whatever you have left apart. You are screaming. You are sitting on the floor now. Your hands are on your knees and you weep. For those you have lost. For the things you could not save. For the years and time you will never get back. You cry because you failed. You hold onto the bed behind you and feel its stench. It’s all too much. It smells like failure, too. Then, you stay on the floor for a long time. You don’t come out of the room because going out would mean facing a sad reality no one should have to endure. Your heart breaks just thinking about walking past the door. More hours pass. You finally have to get up to relieve yourself. You realize things cannot be healed without time. You call a loved one. You feel grateful. You call a friend, you make a plan to help out. Your community needs you. You need them. Work with those around you to help cope, to help rebuild.
Life has to go on, but healing will always have slow moving steps to the finish line. The finish line being wherever you want it to be, as long as it brings a future of happy moments and less hate on yourself.