Tragedy is one of those things in which you forget to live. Forget your reason for living. Maybe you know that “life must go on” but you can’t imagine possibly doing that. How could you when you’ve lost practically everything of worth?
On that note, no one expects anyone to grieve in great celebration. Because obviously, this is not a time to celebrate anything. It’s a time to reflect, sure, but the sadness that is coated in that reflection can leave one feeling pretty bleak. It’s probably why so many force themselves to “celebrate life.” Because the truth is that we cannot ignore that we are alive. Life should be celebrated no matter who or what is in question. No matter their deeds. No matter what. Celebrate the moments, even if they were brief to let yourself know that you are alright. To feel something. An emotion that releases great power within you will be the light that shines the brightest for you.
So as you think about the things you lost, also think about the things you have not. The things that are leading you to the happy moments right now. You are happy. You are content at the very least. You are not going to let small fears define you. It doesn’t have to be so easy to make you feel as though you are not worth anything. You are worth more than all the terrible things that could possibly occur to you. Because bad things don’t always define a person. Circumstance might, but sometimes that knocks the wind a bit too. What do you have left? You have hope. Hold onto that hope because you can’t let it down.
It might be hard to cope. It might be hard to even think of the word cope on the spot. Forget about a eulogy, you need to breathe. Everyone needs solace in a time of great fear. In a time when everything and everyone seems uncertain, you seek refuge in the familiar. When the winds continue to blow in the wrong direction, you start to wonder why you even cared that they blew in that direction. Maybe your house fell apart. Maybe your store is flooded. Maybe your school is closed and maybe you are having a meltdown and tore whatever you have left apart. You are screaming. You are sitting on the floor now. Your hands are on your knees and you weep. For those you have lost. For the things you could not save. For the years and time you will never get back. You cry because you failed. You hold onto the bed behind you and feel its stench. It’s all too much. It smells like failure, too. Then, you stay on the floor for a long time. You don’t come out of the room because going out would mean facing a sad reality no one should have to endure. Your heart breaks just thinking about walking past the door. More hours pass. You finally have to get up to relieve yourself. You realize things cannot be healed without time. You call a loved one. You feel grateful. You call a friend, you make a plan to help out. Your community needs you. You need them. Work with those around you to help cope, to help rebuild.
Life has to go on, but healing will always have slow moving steps to the finish line. The finish line being wherever you want it to be, as long as it brings a future of happy moments and less hate on yourself.
Things are not as bad as I might make them out to be when it comes to me. But, if we’re talking other matters, then yeah the world is ending and there is no time to lose. Not being overdramatic or anything, no way. Or am I? Hard to tell these days, no one really knows what’s up or down. But, I’ll tell you the truth. The sky is up and so is the air, filled with both despair and hope but in different parts of the world. Down is never good, wherever you are.
I think that there is a need to understand what is happening everyday, because if we don’t then why do we exist? Why is there so much hate? So much uncertain waters in just one world. Because that’s how the world works is what you say. Well, that what plenty of people say but it doesn’t really mean much if you have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s best to read and then say what’s on your mind. We don’t know everything, but I don’t think that we can. It’s hard to know it all.
Reading the news, watching the news, listening to world events one begins to recognize that all that is front of them is kind of futile. It doesn’t matter. It never really has mattered. It takes time to realize this. I’m already taking so much time writing this again, because I don’t want to sound like I’m just writing this for space or whatever. I have things to say, I’m just not very good at saying them. Point being that, I think that as a society dependent on the online world we would be nothing with what is in front of us. Truthfully, we can’t know about that boy that died yesterday at the hands of rebels or the girl who got shot outside your house (not literally). People are not always human, they are not all made of the same material and good nature which you may or may not be used to. Really depends on who you are.
So, to tell the truth. You’re never going to get there. To the end of your dream, because you’ll always be chasing it. As long as you don’t understand people and everyday moments, you might never get there. It’s an everyday struggle. It’s supposed to be that way. No one said it would be this easy, but no one said it would be so hard either.
Today (and well, everyday), I keep thinking about how I need to do something to change my life. The way I live my life, something. Writing online is part of my life, but I wish I could do more and enrich myself in the process. The thing is this: I want to travel and to travel with someone that wants to travel too. I mean I still want to find that “dream job”, be successful and meet the right guy but not everything is quite up to par yet. For, now it’s best to stop worrying about my futile problems and look at those who have nothing.
I’m talking about people in the Middle East. In Syria. In Libya. In Gaza. People that have nothing and are wondering when they are going to get a break. The people don’t deserve to be waiting on a chance to live, they need to live because a lot of them are children waiting on the moment with empty futures. They don’t need pity either, they need peace. Except, the world forgot what that is. So, for just a moment–I think people should stop thinking about the pain in their lives and think about those who have it worse. I guarantee you your life is really not all that terrible when put into perspective. When you think about it, we’re all just starving for attention and waiting on the chance for someone to notice us. It all takes hard work and persistance, that hopefully will pay off over time. In the mean time, we need to work towards trying to form a bond between what is real and what is only in our heads. I hope that over time we can all reach the dreams and goals we set out to achieve.
I don’t mean to be ranting (sorry if it sounds that way), but I want it to be clear that one should be thankful. Not just on a holiday that is designated for one to be thankful, but everyday. You are much better off. I am better off knowing that I am trying to think about those who are not like me. I can’t save the world, but I can try to make others aware. Small steps can only go a long way towards making a change in one’s life.