That feeling of feeling lost or overwhelmed is evident when you decide to not set goals. Maybe you say you have “no goals”, but ultimately everyone has an endgame. There is a destination that we’re all hoping to get to one day, hopefully not by wasted dream but instead by manifested reality.
In all my wildest dreams, I always imagined myself to be doing the things that matter. The things that will make me a “somebody,” as if I am not already. It is as if I have some kind of aim to be famous, but no exact direction to get there. My kind of fame is the sort where I wonder what I am doing wasting my time with no plan, but feel happy regardless. No, not happy in spite of or because of. Simply happy, because I do have what I need.
Anyway, as I’m reflecting on how to get myself out there I know I don’t need to at the same time. I can be content being a nobody to most people, because to the ones that count I am a somebody. Also, according to physics, we are all just bits of stars.
I was recently reminded that not everything is easy. Just because you might have had one great, but ultimately unfulfilling experience that looks great on a resume doesn’t mean that you will have success with your next endeavors. In all probability, you will fail and fail terribly. It might take some time to come to the realization that what others around you already know: Success must be earned and takes time.
Being someone that for some reason wants to teach, it’s not easy to step into the field. In a time when everyone is cynical and few actually appreciate teachers, being able to do the job right is a strength that many lack. This includes me. I hope that over time, I will be able to look back on the students I have worked with and feel proud to have been in their life. I already have some students who I know I am influencing directly in a positive way. I know that every student is different and not everyone learns the same either. I know that managing a classroom is the hardest part of teaching and I haven’t really mastered it yet. I know where my strengths lie and know ways to make my weaknesses better, however, I do admit to having limits as well. As do most people. I’m certainly no expert in the education field, but working and helping with others is what I know I will continue to do in some form all my life.
Maybe I’m not passionate enough. Maybe I’m not strong enough. These are all things we might tell ourselves in order to remind us that it’s ok to fail, at least this once. Maybe the rejections hurt in the moment, but they don’t really define who we are. I know that I can’t let any bad decisions or rejections turn me upside down. I will instead focus on what I can do and why I want to do the things I do.
The truth is, it might take 30 job rejections to realize you don’t know if you want what you’re seeking. However, at 10 more rejections, you know that you can do what you set your mind to and it doesn’t matter what others might think of you. You can reach your highest potential and achieve great success within yourself.
We all have things that we might have lost. Or people we have lost. The moments we lost are somewhere in our brain, the good ones embedded there forever.
In a way, it can take guts to admit to being afraid. To admit to losing someone or something. It’s not easy to say you might not be as daring as you had hoped. It’s ok, being human is not always easy.
It’s so comforting to assume a likeminded presence around those that you know best. You are your most genuine self around the people you trust the most. When that’s taken away, you might feel empty or afraid. Nervous or anxious. Possibly worried about your next step, but pushing through because that is just what you do. Self-doubt continues to creep into your mind as you feel a need to be alone and seek some type of internal solace for your choices. The fear of rejection keeps you on the edge, but the greater fear is knowing you will have to do it alone. Don’t we face all obstacles in life alone, anyway?
You’re never really alone though. Someone will try to support you, but not everyone will understand or want to understand your goals. Everyone on this Earth has their own life to live and their own secrets that the ones closest to them will probably never know. It’s not introversion, it’s people choosing to plan their own lives because they’re taking responsibility for their own lives. You can do the same, I know I can.
Be honest with what you want and you will be happy to know that you will get it (whatever you seek) eventually, with time and patience.
All the best.
(Featured Image from Pexels Photo Gallery via WordPress).
I need to blog. I need to BLOG. Like, sorry guys (and others) I have no time anymore. I just wake up, teach, eat, then sleep. I’m always so tired. Is teaching always the most tiring? Hoping it gets less tiring, but I’m also signing myself up for more stress so bring it on. At the same time, I am realizing that doing this is genuinely so fun and I know in some form I’m going to keep doing this for the rest of my life. I just am.
I am fairly content at this moment. I am not however fully and absolutely content, but I am trying to shove past mistakes into the nearest trash receptacle. The mistakes I’m referring to are those of the romantic variety. When you have something or rather someone so close to you and you are so ready to take that leap into the unknown but then it all goes wrong and comes crashing down on your face, well you kind of just stop. You say “this is great, now I’ll have time to do the things I want” or “now I have time to focus on things..” We forget that heartbreak freezes us from doing anything of value. At least for a time. I was fine after a few days, but I’m not really fine. Even as I type this, I’m wondering why it had to end and why and why and why and why and why. But, I can’t go there. I cannot. Or I will definitely lose it. If I haven’t already, which I probably did though I can’t say I know what “it” is. So, this is a post, but it just a post to remind myself that I might not find the love I want and that is ok because if I want real love it is already within myself. It is with the support system I already have. I don’t need validation or love from outside sources to remind myself of what I already know: I am worth it and always will be. (I do hope he regrets letting this good piece of human go though).
I seem to like using song lyrics as blog titles. Thanks Train for the Drops of Jupiter, means a lot even 17 years later.
Remember that time when I said I was gonna do stuff. Yeah, that was a good time. It’s good that I’m doing so much for myself, but I always feel like I could be doing so much more.
I’m going to scratch all that because giving myself flack for trying is not going to help. So instead let me ponder on the power of laughter. It does a lot. Hopefully, you are doing something this very instant to try to lift your mood. This might be one way of getting there, or maybe not.
It’s possible that circumstances have made you weak. Made you sidestep in between your boundaries. I’m not claiming to know anything about you, because I don’t. If you’re a human the truth is that you suffer. It’s one of those traits that no one likes to admit to much because it sounds like pain and it probably is in some way. Not a great and terrible pain, not necessarily no, but a pain that recedes back and then comes back in spurts whenever there is anguish or misgivings in ones’ heart.
Maybe it’s the moment of solitude that brings one back to their senses. Reminds them they are not alone and that life has to go on regardless of whatever their feelings say.
Whatever your feelings say. Whatever my feelings say.
Live in the present, not the past. It does nothing for your emotional health to dwell forever. If you can, relish in the good times and wonder just how you got so lucky. How you happened to exist on the planet that you’re on.
For just a small fragment of time, you could start to imagine a world in which you feel pure happiness. Not unreal or shrouded in doubt but the kind that makes you wonder why you struggle with pain at all. That’s right. You.
I’ll be real here. I’m not sure what I’m going to write about right now. I know I want to write a blog post but for what particular reason I can’t really say. I could do a list or a look-back type thing but those are also overdone.
In the grand scheme of things, I think my life’s pretty great. It’s marvelous in fact. I’ve got everything I could want going swell for me (yeah, I just used the word swell-deal with it). It might sound stereotypical, but the one thing I feel is missing is someone to share in my future successes with. I know that there will be more achievements in the future for me. I don’t know exactly what road I will be going down but I’m hoping that it will lead me to a happy place. A place in which I know that I can feel truly happy. Maybe a future career will be in education. Maybe I never felt like a leader, but I could be one someday. When one has to teach, they become a leader and example to their students. Without meaning to, the teacher sets the standard (whether that be good or bad, but it should always be great).
So are you doing great, person reading this? I don’t know your life story and how you ended up where you are now but I hope you get to your happy place. Everyone deserves happiness. Let it be the time to resolve all past conflicts, minor grudges and stop holding back on what you think makes you weak. Don’t wish ill on anyone else, happiness for all goes a long way. Hopefully, one day it will lead to real peace.
We hesitate. We think we might be making the wrong move, so we stop ourselves. Maybe we could do better or be better. Either way, it leads us to feel like we are less than ourselves on a daily basis. Who is this “we” I am referring to? It’s you. It’s me. It’s anyone that has ever hopeless, lost, or alone. Just sitting around waiting for a hopeful note to come their way. I’m not exactly sure what anyone is so keen on waiting for, but if you want something just go out and grab it.
Being a compassionate person is sometimes a thankless job. One that you will have to adjust to if you love helping others. It’s like when you love seeing another person’s smile light up at the thought that you are helping them achieve something. Whatever you’re reaching for, don’t give up because it might be too hard. If you need that extra push, I hope that this blog post found you at the right moment.
What you need to remember is that you’re not supposed to be winning, but losing. Failure is an option and in fact, anyone that has ever succeeded at great things failed at something. Usually school, which partially means that school won’t give you all the answers you’re looking for. I’m not sure which answers you’re looking for anyway, but know this: Make your own goals and make them unreachable by other people. Things only you can do, things that you know will lift your mood higher. I have no examples, but if you’re reading this and smiling then you already know what you must do.
The next thing you need to do is take five. Yeah, this not a movie set I know and maybe you have no time for that but listen to the annoying people telling you to “make time.” Maybe you want to get angry at these people and think, “I can’t just pull time out of thin air.” You can’t, unless you have a black hole behind your house, so good luck with that. Sure scheduling time for fun is easy enough, but don’t schedule time for yourself. Just do it. It’s better when it’s unplanned. So, right now if you made the time to read this go to a quiet cafe somewhere or a bookstore. Sit there for a while. Read, write and try to not look at your phone but don’t scold yourself for caving and getting on Instagram. It’s ok, you didn’t fail you did take time for you just in a different way. You don’t need to “unplug.” Telling someone to do that these days is more than difficult. What you need to do is readjust your settings. What matters more? Being happy and honest with yourself or helping someone else. Maybe you have no desire to help someone else and that’s ok too. However, in every job you have, you will be working with others and even if the end result is the same its nothing without some assistance on both sides. You can’t fail alone and you can’t fail if you didn’t put all your blood and effort into a certain task.
The failed feelings come in when we realize that we can’t get to where we want to be because of obstacles in our way. Those obstacles could be people, ideas we don’t agree with, or a strong feeling in our chest that is causing us to have trouble breathing (also known as insecurity). Find the comfort in the discomfort and somehow tell yourself that you need to do more find success. Not high success. Not CEO success, but the success that lets you know that you’re doing just fine regardless of your past mistakes.