Salagadoola mechicka boola Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo It’ll do magic, believe it or not Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
The everyday life you lead is probably not exciting, nor is it magical in any way. You would like to say you do so many cool things all the time. Things that make you feel like you are doing something worth your time. Of course, most of what you do is always worth it, but none of us see it that way because we always will want more. Will need more, will expect more, and will pursue more.
At the very least, what you can try to be is daring. Yeah, that’s a new thing you can strive for this year. No more wallowing. Yes, you wallow and it’s time to stop.
Daring in the sense that you are willing to not only go the extra step but also take a step back and right a wrong. Don’t hold grudges even if you think forgiveness is stupid. Dare yourself to walk for ten minutes a day. Dare yourself to read for ten minutes a day. Dare yourself to get off social media for twenty minutes a day. Dare yourself to not only say you’ll drink more water but actually do it, by throwing out all that La Croix or dumping it all out. You can never really run out of dares, you can just keep struggling to make yourself do them. However, that is not a failure but is admitting you have limits like most people.
I hope you do something pretty cool today. Maybe it won’t be that daring or maybe it will. Either way, I hope you feel great about it and you take the chance to better yourself in this way.
(please don’t dare yourself to steal things or kill someone).
Words: Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo from Cinderella (written in 1948 by Al Hoffman, Mack David, and Jerry Livingston).
I think that these days, I would like to say that I’m busy but still free.
I am taking the opportunities that are coming my way, but I want bigger things too. I want things that make me not question why I’m doing them. I’m sure in my heart what those things are, but speaking out about what I really want is not what the people around me want. The refrain I hear again and again is to just “stay.” To keep in the place that continues to be a place of despair, but one in which I feel pressured to stay in.
I need new experiences in different places. I haven’t been everywhere. Not by a long shot. I don’t really do bucket lists or things like that. I just make small lists and they are goals of things that I aim to achieve. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it does not.
In any case, I am striving to be something. To be someone, rather. I am still very much rooted in the ideals that I was brought up with, but I’m imagining myself apart from that as well. In a world in which I am free to do and see the things I yearn to do. It’s not that anyone is stopping me and it’s not that I am not able to go, its that responsibility pushes me to stop. Just stop and realize that all I might need is not far away after all.
However, while I’m keeping busy with numerous projects and work, I would still like more me time. More focus on what brings me joy.
When I get there, it will not be said in words but emotions.
Until then, I’ll be flying busy, free, and wild all at the same time. Every day.
I recently dreamt that I was being told that “my profession is a failure.” The person was not wrong, but the idea remains in my mind of how little I am doing each day. Of course, I always believe I could be doing more and setting goals that I will achieve. I know I am only letting down myself when I neglect a goal for the day.
In other times, it feels as though I am not doing enough to be happy. That should make sense when reading it the first time, if not rethink how you view happiness. It should come easily, it shouldn’t be forced and it should be about you. My great fear is that I am becoming a person of habit, but then its also not a fear at all because as most people get older this is a fact of life. I embrace this I suppose. I want to know how to stop feeling terrible about not reaching goals. It’s not really something that is easily achieved (irony).
In the case of the world, it’s terrible and none of what I’m saying matters. In your own life, you’re probably having a good week or a bad week (or maybe somewhere in the middle). You’re wondering how you got to this blog post that is going on about being happy and reaching goals and blah blah blah.
Maybe I’m just writing the basics of a suitable post. Maybe I’m just doing the basics when it comes to a generally happy life situation. I’m not quite there yet. If I can make it, so can you.
That feeling of feeling lost or overwhelmed is evident when you decide to not set goals. Maybe you say you have “no goals”, but ultimately everyone has an endgame. There is a destination that we’re all hoping to get to one day, hopefully not by wasted dream but instead by manifested reality.
In all my wildest dreams, I always imagined myself to be doing the things that matter. The things that will make me a “somebody,” as if I am not already. It is as if I have some kind of aim to be famous, but no exact direction to get there. My kind of fame is the sort where I wonder what I am doing wasting my time with no plan, but feel happy regardless. No, not happy in spite of or because of. Simply happy, because I do have what I need.
Anyway, as I’m reflecting on how to get myself out there I know I don’t need to at the same time. I can be content being a nobody to most people, because to the ones that count I am a somebody. Also, according to physics, we are all just bits of stars.
I was recently reminded that not everything is easy. Just because you might have had one great, but ultimately unfulfilling experience that looks great on a resume doesn’t mean that you will have success with your next endeavors. In all probability, you will fail and fail terribly. It might take some time to come to the realization that what others around you already know: Success must be earned and takes time.
Being someone that for some reason wants to teach, it’s not easy to step into the field. In a time when everyone is cynical and few actually appreciate teachers, being able to do the job right is a strength that many lack. This includes me. I hope that over time, I will be able to look back on the students I have worked with and feel proud to have been in their life. I already have some students who I know I am influencing directly in a positive way. I know that every student is different and not everyone learns the same either. I know that managing a classroom is the hardest part of teaching and I haven’t really mastered it yet. I know where my strengths lie and know ways to make my weaknesses better, however, I do admit to having limits as well. As do most people. I’m certainly no expert in the education field, but working and helping with others is what I know I will continue to do in some form all my life.
Maybe I’m not passionate enough. Maybe I’m not strong enough. These are all things we might tell ourselves in order to remind us that it’s ok to fail, at least this once. Maybe the rejections hurt in the moment, but they don’t really define who we are. I know that I can’t let any bad decisions or rejections turn me upside down. I will instead focus on what I can do and why I want to do the things I do.
The truth is, it might take 30 job rejections to realize you don’t know if you want what you’re seeking. However, at 10 more rejections, you know that you can do what you set your mind to and it doesn’t matter what others might think of you. You can reach your highest potential and achieve great success within yourself.
We all have things that we might have lost. Or people we have lost. The moments we lost are somewhere in our brain, the good ones embedded there forever.
In a way, it can take guts to admit to being afraid. To admit to losing someone or something. It’s not easy to say you might not be as daring as you had hoped. It’s ok, being human is not always easy.
It’s so comforting to assume a likeminded presence around those that you know best. You are your most genuine self around the people you trust the most. When that’s taken away, you might feel empty or afraid. Nervous or anxious. Possibly worried about your next step, but pushing through because that is just what you do. Self-doubt continues to creep into your mind as you feel a need to be alone and seek some type of internal solace for your choices. The fear of rejection keeps you on the edge, but the greater fear is knowing you will have to do it alone. Don’t we face all obstacles in life alone, anyway?
You’re never really alone though. Someone will try to support you, but not everyone will understand or want to understand your goals. Everyone on this Earth has their own life to live and their own secrets that the ones closest to them will probably never know. It’s not introversion, it’s people choosing to plan their own lives because they’re taking responsibility for their own lives. You can do the same, I know I can.
Be honest with what you want and you will be happy to know that you will get it (whatever you seek) eventually, with time and patience.
All the best.
(Featured Image from Pexels Photo Gallery via WordPress).
I need to blog. I need to BLOG. Like, sorry guys (and others) I have no time anymore. I just wake up, teach, eat, then sleep. I’m always so tired. Is teaching always the most tiring? Hoping it gets less tiring, but I’m also signing myself up for more stress so bring it on. At the same time, I am realizing that doing this is genuinely so fun and I know in some form I’m going to keep doing this for the rest of my life. I just am.
I am fairly content at this moment. I am not however fully and absolutely content, but I am trying to shove past mistakes into the nearest trash receptacle. The mistakes I’m referring to are those of the romantic variety. When you have something or rather someone so close to you and you are so ready to take that leap into the unknown but then it all goes wrong and comes crashing down on your face, well you kind of just stop. You say “this is great, now I’ll have time to do the things I want” or “now I have time to focus on things..” We forget that heartbreak freezes us from doing anything of value. At least for a time. I was fine after a few days, but I’m not really fine. Even as I type this, I’m wondering why it had to end and why and why and why and why and why. But, I can’t go there. I cannot. Or I will definitely lose it. If I haven’t already, which I probably did though I can’t say I know what “it” is. So, this is a post, but it just a post to remind myself that I might not find the love I want and that is ok because if I want real love it is already within myself. It is with the support system I already have. I don’t need validation or love from outside sources to remind myself of what I already know: I am worth it and always will be. (I do hope he regrets letting this good piece of human go though).
I seem to like using song lyrics as blog titles. Thanks Train for the Drops of Jupiter, means a lot even 17 years later.