Posted in failure, goals, life

Automatic

I’m thinking lately about what it means to be a good person.

Am I a good person?

Is anyone really a good person?

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The feeling you get when you realize you might be doing something bad washes over you in waves. The tide of judgement comes rolling in whenever this happens and you look down on yourself once again.

You say you’re a person with morals, with boundaries but you don’t always know what those are. You know what it means to have these things, but not necessarily what it means to have these things taken away from you. The promise of shelter and love is almost a given, that you forget it exists.

You pull out the weapon. It’s shiny and new, it’s easy to buy these days just head to the local shop. It stares at you in the face, your reflection just barely glinting through. It would seem as though you might have made a mistake about what you want. About what you need. You don’t know right away that the sirens are for you, but you listen and you know. And you cry and you nod.

Get help, seek help. Remember that you’re not alone is the main advice I would give to anyone searching in their hearts for why they need to live such a routine life.

But wait. Then you remember. Not everyone has these same luxuries, has these same thoughts flooding through their head. Not everyone feels as though they will always have support in anything they choose to do.

The feeling of knowing what you need to know and do is not always apparent. It’s sometimes hidden away, waiting for you to do what is right.

So do you know what is right for you to do?

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Posted in inspiration, personal, self-actualization

On doing the hard work

It would seem as thought like most people, I am looking for some type of reward. I probably won’t get it, at least not so easily. The good things don’t come quickly, they take time.

I feel that I am taking on more than I am able to handle both emotionally and physically. My whole mind is never on one thing. Sure, I might have that one goal of being happy and in a good place and job in my life yet I am not giving myself the credit I deserve. I’m downplaying my assets. I’m forgetting that I am worthy.

It’s ok if i cannot do it all. I already know that I will have at least tried to do most of the things I want to do. Planning out a day takes time and effort, which I sometimes feel as though I have none of. Persistence is key and something I’m still striving towards. Working everyday to remind myself that I’ll never get a new chance if I don’t try the one in front of me. Or, it’s ok to stop but remember to at least keep going. Always keep going.

Some people don’t work at all. Others far too much. Meanwhile, herds of people head to social media to put off meaningful work in exchange for the hope for meaningful interactions. Most of the time, it is a hopeless cause.

I know I work because I see it in my eyes. In the way I feel like I have no time for sleeping. I feel like not being productive is a waste of my own energy and time, though I find myself lulled by social media to be unproductive anyway. Time is meaningless unless used appropriately.

Don’t mean to make this post seem quite so sad sounding. If you’re reading this, then what are you doing to be well? Keep doing the good work. The hard work. No one else can do what you have to do yourself.

Posted in failure, goals, inspiration

Adrift but sailing away

We all have things that we might have lost. Or people we have lost. The moments we lost are somewhere in our brain, the good ones embedded there forever.

In a way, it can take guts to admit to being afraid. To admit to losing someone or something. It’s not easy to say you might not be as daring as you had hoped. It’s ok, being human is not always easy.

It’s so comforting to assume a likeminded presence around those that you know best. You are your most genuine self around the people you trust the most. When that’s taken away, you might feel empty or afraid. Nervous or anxious. Possibly worried about your next step, but pushing through because that is just what you do. Self-doubt continues to creep into your mind as you feel a need to be alone and seek some type of internal solace for your choices. The fear of rejection keeps you on the edge, but the greater fear is knowing you will have to do it alone. Don’t we face all obstacles in life alone, anyway?

You’re never really alone though. Someone will try to support you, but not everyone will understand or want to understand your goals. Everyone on this Earth has their own life to live and their own secrets that the ones closest to them will probably never know. It’s not introversion, it’s people choosing to plan their own lives because they’re taking responsibility for their own lives.  You can do the same, I know I can.

Be honest with what you want and you will be happy to know that you will get it (whatever you seek) eventually, with time and patience.

All the best.

(Featured Image from Pexels Photo Gallery via WordPress).

Posted in changes, goals, inspiration, self-actualization

No carping about

How do you stop a pest from growing? How do you stop a wild animal from taking cover in your sheets? How to stop those bad directions you keep getting on Google?

No easy answer to stop grieving. Grief is as real as we think it is. Recovery makes us stronger, but it takes it time to come upon us. We shatter when we think about how we are doing without careful inflection or thoughtful analysis. We do it anyway though. The shadow of your silhouette is on fire, dear.

You’re probably worse off than you think. You surround yourself with positivity to make these reminders that you are doing terrible seem less obvious. We all know the truth here though. You are actually doing unquestionably awesome. Just don’t tell that to the people who make greeting cards or they will be out of business in a field that relies on the awe of DIY and sincerity without digital means.

We’re all fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. You’ll always be alone because as humans we just are and that’s alright. We go to work alone. We come home alone. We take a shower alone. We walk alone. We are just lonely as a people, but we forge relationships and do this thing called “synergy” a great deal in an effort to make sanity a thing of the past. We are labeled as either “introverted” or “extroverted” but in truth, we are probably neither. We are probably just waiting for the bubble to break and world to end. So, labels are stupid that way because we made them up to explain ourselves to ourselves.

So keep recovering. Keep striving, keep doing well. Recovery comes in all forms. Don’t take everything you do too seriously or you will never be happy. This is a fact. Maybe you need time away from people that care the most about you. Maybe you need space. Maybe you don’t know exactly what you need right now. That’s all perfectly ok. You will make it soon enough. If you abandon the ones that care the most, though you will really be alone so don’t forget to reach out. Help is always there.

Be well, do well. You can’t be great because you are already amazing.

Cover image is Railey Beach, TH- August 2017.

Posted in inspiration, life, lists

The things you’re not doing to be well

We like to say that we are “multi-taskers” and are able to do so many things without another thought. Because, productivity is important and stuff. Everyone knows this and it must not be questioned. If you go through a day without being productive you are wasting it, particularly if it is a work day and you should be working. But, what if you are not wasting it. What if you are organizing your thoughts. Albeit, this is an easy way to say that you are slightly lazy but don’t tell that to everyone you know. No one like to hear about your laziness, unless its about pizza. Then continue sharing. The point is here is that there are not enough hours in the day. Especially at this time of year, when the daylight hours are 10 hours or less depending on where you live. This might cause a selection of the population to have Seasonal Affective Disorder (yes, a real thing) in which they hate the season they are in because the weather is so gloomy and the days are short and well it’s rather cold and there are feelings about this ok? Anyway, keep reading for some things you’re missing out on today.

Reading. Did you read a book today? Read or digital? Are you currently reading anything or are you more of a summer reader? No, things you read for work do not count. Really, go to the library and hang out there for like an hour. It’s quiet, warm and you can think. I hear they have a lot of books there too.

Eat real food. If you’re too busy, this can be hard. This can also be hard, if you make it hard but it doesn’t have to be hard to eat vegetables, fruits, and nuts. Not added to anything, not blended into anything. Just as it is. Alright, if you can’t a yogurt parfait would suffice. Also, try for at least three meals a day that are equally spaced out to leave you actually hungry for each meal. This will allow you to eat until you’re full and not overeat. Anyway, try to eat food that is enriching and not processed. (not necessarily raw, organic or any of that.)

Drink water. Honestly, a lot of people seem to be drinking water these days. Good job people! But drink more. Take a 24 oz bottle and drink from it throughout the day. Just because its winter does not mean your body doesn’t need the water. Refresh your system, refresh your body. Feel great.

Lie down. You were probably lying down in bed this morning and that’s where you would rather be, but I have to say this: Just lie down. If your head is exploding with the 55 things you need to do and things you want to do, then just press pause for a minute and lay down. Take some deep breathes. Depending on the time of day, it might not do much to sleep but simply laying down and closing your eyes while breathing deeply can really calm your nerves.

Stretch your fingers. Do it right now. I’m doing this right now. After each sentence. Flex, bend, straight. Flex, bend, straight. Arms to the side and do the same thing, until it aches. This is what everyone that works on a computer everyday need to do but probably does not. You’re hurting you’re wrists and hands, so stretch them out. Prevent damage to them.

Stand up. There are so many opportunities to sit everywhere we go. In the car we sit through traffic, at the doctor we sit in the waiting room, waiting on someone to get ready to sit on our phone, and we sit to eat and watch tv. Stand up for once, then sit back down, then stand back up, then sit back down. Oh, look you just did a mini workout. Keep going, until someone starts looking at you strangely and you’re forced to just stand awkwardly.

Like a slogan from a popular drug-store chain goes: “Be well.”

cover image source.