On success (pt. 2)

I was recently reminded that not everything is easy. Just because you might have had one great, but ultimately unfulfilling experience that looks great on a resume doesn’t mean that you will have success with your next endeavors. In all probability, you will fail and fail terribly. It might take some time to come to the realization that what others around you already know: Success must be earned and takes time.

Photo by João Jesus on Pexels.com

Being someone that for some reason wants to teach, it’s not easy to step into the field. In a time when everyone is cynical and few actually appreciate teachers, being able to do the job right is a strength that many lack. This includes me. I hope that over time, I will be able to look back on the students I have worked with and feel proud to have been in their life. I already have some students who I know I am influencing directly in a positive way. I know that every student is different and not everyone learns the same either. I know that managing a classroom is the hardest part of teaching and I haven’t really mastered it yet. I know where my strengths lie and know ways to make my weaknesses better, however, I do admit to having limits as well. As do most people. I’m certainly no expert in the education field, but working and helping with others is what I know I will continue to do in some form all my life.

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Maybe I’m not passionate enough. Maybe I’m not strong enough. These are all things we might tell ourselves in order to remind us that it’s ok to fail, at least this once. Maybe the rejections hurt in the moment, but they don’t really define who we are. I know that I can’t let any bad decisions or rejections turn me upside down. I will instead focus on what I can do and why I want to do the things I do.

Photo by Garon Piceli on Pexels.com

The truth is, it might take 30 job rejections to realize you don’t know if you want what you’re seeking. However, at 10 more rejections, you know that you can do what you set your mind to and it doesn’t matter what others might think of you. You can reach your highest potential and achieve great success within yourself.

❤ ❤ ❤

Be your own success story.

 

On success (pt. 1)

It’s likely that this year you have faced some failures. Some mishaps. Found yourself on a path that you’re not entirely proud of, but you are hoping for the best at this point. You are pretty certain that you are doing ok, but not sure what steps to take next to be great. The struggle comes from the realization that you are and probably always will be a failure in some way.

In the same vein though, you are the exact opposite of that. You are thriving and growing each and every day. Yay you! Alright, so let’s say it’s five years from now, you have achieved what you wanted and satisfaction is oh so sweet. You’re feeling not just happy, but pure contentment in your life and choices. Something is nagging at you though and it is the need to create. As humans we will always want to create something, it doesn’t matter your personality type (introverted or extroverted). However, creativity can lead to different happiness levels. Maybe your feelings on a certain subject or idea will change. Maybe you will hate everything about what your life has become up to that point. Maybe you wonder if you are not actually putting your time to good use. After all, creativity is everywhere and not everyone has to be a part of that. You can buy creativity but would it mean anything to you, would it have any value?

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Let me say this then. You’re a teacher. You’re a writer. You’re a U/X designer. You’re an IT professional. You’re a babysitter. You’re a grocery-store clerk. You’re a bookseller. You’re a librarian. You’re a barista. You are creative, but you a part of a generation that doesn’t value you. You’re part of a society that values things that are more practical because they make more sense for future generations. Things like STEM technology, e-commerce and trade, finance and banking, law, and medicine are jobs the world needs more than a teacher or writer. The things that you want to do may not lead you down an easy road to success. You definitely won’t get to where to want to be that quickly. You need the drive and patience to not give up.

Success will never be easy if you’re a teacher. You won’t be making much. You will be overworked. You might have to work two other jobs, at least. You will have to take care of other personal projects as they come. You have to fight your own battles out there you creative soul.

Success may make or break you. I hope that it will make you stronger, but it could very well be very hard to achieve and that alone could break you until you are a shattered mess. Hold strong and remember that success is not a shot in the dark but a glowing bright light in a room full of shadows.

You got this. I got this. We all got this.

(cover/featured image via Pexels photo gallery through WordPress).

Eight

Well, hey there. I have now been living abroad for 8 months. What a crazy thing life is. I’m counting the little bit at the end of Feb. as well because it all counts in this regard.

I’d like to say that I’ve seen some crazy, amazing stuff in that time but really it’s not about what I’ve seen but what I’ve experienced. The teaching is out of this world. By that I mean, the students are simultaneously very respectful but also very misbehaved. There is really no actual order. Just a lot of yelling in order to get the message across and make sure students that are misbehaving are hit “appropriately” (quotation marks being kind of loose here because I don’t really like the hitting in any form).

In between all that, I’ve found some real connections with the students. Well, at least some of them. I can’t get to all of them. There are some that will just continue to rebel against the new teacher and I cannot do anything about that. What, I can try though is to be authentic with them in a way that still doesn’t tell them EVERYTHING about myself.

So, I try to be fun. The key word is “try” here. Because its hard enough being in a new country, while also working with a new set of coworkers that may or may not acknowledge you depending on how they’re are feeling that day.

So, depressing notes aside its actually been great.

I feel blessed to be here. I feel like I want to see more of the world. I want to keep teaching the kids I am now but eventually, I will leave them and since they are young maybe a year from now they won’t even remember me.

From the moment I first stepped foot in this country, I knew my life was about to change. I knew before that, as I was going to be teaching abroad. Giving up a normal life to settle down and doing this in my later twenties instead. I wanted to be different, I always preached to others about finding your uniqueness. Maybe not preaching in the way of a large crowd or anything like that, but still wanting something more. I blogged about this idea, I internally journaled it. But, what did I even mean? I questioned what I wanted to be or do for so long that I lost all direction. I’m still trying to find one, but decided that if I don’t find one, it will probably be ok.

So, eight months in the country and over a year since I first seriously considered the prospect-has my life changed?

Yes. It has been impacted and I feel exposed to a world I never would have taken the time to think about. To reach out and make a part of myself. To embrace a completely new country including its culture, language and people is an experience I will probably never have again. Especially, since the memories made here are stronger than those I will make anywhere else.

❤

featured image source

Things are happening.

Oh hi there.

It’s been five months since this blog has been updated. That’s way too long. Not really sure how that happened, but yeah there it is. Five months. Whoo, so much has happened.

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To start with, I am teaching English abroad. I am living in a different country. I am immersed in a local culture that five months prior I really knew nothing about. Life is so crazy. I have made so many new friends and learned so much about life. Things that I took for granted before are greatly missed. I miss people from home, foods and the reminder that I am not alone. Those are the kinds of things that keep me up at night.

I teach kindergarten and grade 2 to children who barely speak English or really none at all. It’s a challenge working to meet them on their level. To try to make them understand me and what I am trying to teach them. At the same time, it’s a joy that is unparalleled to anything else I’ve done. Sometimes I wake up and can’t believe I do what I do. Can’t believe that I take the time to create a lesson, can’t believe that I am teaching in a country so far away from home, can’t believe that I am living and going to work in another country. Some things are similar (Mondays suck no matter what country you’re in) and others are different. If it wasn’t for technology allowing me to talk to family back home, I would be sad all the time honestly. Social media keeps me locked in, but I’ve become more out of tune with the news cycle. I just don’t follow it as regularly as I used to. I’ve stepped out of that political news bubble and it feels very freeing.

I make myself feel stronger by knowing that it doesn’t have to all be about me. It’s about the kids. That’s the job I came to do and it comes first. Of course, it doesn’t take precedence though over a life well-lived. What I mean by that is, I came to teach sure but also to explore and travel and see things. That is what I try to do when I have the chance. To go someplace new, discover a new place and meet new people along the way as well. It’s all relative, but it keeps me grounded knowing that I have come so far already. Knowing that as of late, I am keeping myself fairly healthy with the new foods I have found and consume. I also know that the support system I have in place works because it is strong and built to make me want to keep doing this.

Getting out of bed each day, I tell myself that I’ll do some “organizing” today. It doesn’t always happen. The one thing that I wanted to do in that organizing list was write. Just write. Nothing fancy, no planning. No order. In a place that is bright, perhaps in a nearby park that I enjoy going to. It’s important to find solace in the things that give us joy when we are feeling alone and know that no one else can understand us. I can’t make friends easily, but I am working on it. I could have gone out today, explored or walked. I did not. Instead, I let myself breathe into the temptation to do nothing. To just relax. I do this often though (mostly because teaching a class of 42 is hard and grueling work) and I want to do more. To see more. But, I also know its ok to not want to. It’s ok to want to push yourself to try though.

 

a hot and popular dish where I am (if you know what it is comment below).

 

I tried. I succeeded. It’s a process and it’s still going strong.

❤

The restless and lost pupils

It’s a Tuesday night and I am going to give this blog some much needed posts. All to be scheduled later so yay.

So to start off, do you love to hate your job for the simple that its your job and no one else’s?  That’s alright. It’s perfectly fine, in fact. Well, no its not really actually. You should probably quit or leave if you hate it that much that you can’t stand to even be there. Something is probably wrong.

This year, I’ve ventured into the territory of teaching adults. By adults, I mostly mean high schoolers, but its not a high school in the four year sense that you would imagine when the word “high school” comes to mind. No need to get into that. The point is within that, I focus on English, history and writing. Primarily the humanities because that’s where my background is rooted in. And I held firm to only teaching that, but I’m becoming somewhat lax in realizing that its ok to help students in math (easy algebra or below only) if they really need it. These students need all the help they can get. Who am I to turn them away? I’m no one to them, which is exactly why they need my help. But there are no bad teachers either which makes it a great place.

I don’t know everything about working with these students. I don’t know about their lives. I don’t know what they do everyday or where they work. I care about them in school only. As soon as they are out of the building, I am not required to care anymore. That sounds harsh, but as a teacher’s assistant who only teaches sometimes this is the view I have come to know as truth because you won’t get anywhere with the students if they are just treated like your friends all the time.

I get bad looks from some students, those that regard me with a cold edge. Those that want my help, but misunderstand me all too often. Those that try to flirt their way out of doing work and quickly realize that won’t work on me. Those that refuse authority and are proud of it. Those that won’t do any work and ask for help with make-up work, only to ask for answers on everything failing to absorb the material at all. I don’t hate this, but it can be frustrating knowing this student is not doing all they can to do better. Because that’s all I want. For them to do well and excel. Go to college. Get a good career. Have dreams.

Anyway, but everything’s fine besides. I know that in order to make any real difference, every student needs to be met on their own terms. For some that means being their friend. For others, that means ignoring their requests to do so.

(gif source)

It’s not tough love, its called teaching. Something which I don’t know why I’m getting into, but here I am.

Schmidt gif in header.

I don’t know what to be when I grow up.

I like to tell people I’m a writer mostly because I am, but in my head I would love to be a part of a team or work setting. I’ve never had an office job. Are those boring or does it depend on the occupation? I’m going to go with the latter for the most part. I’m not really a reporter anymore, but one day I would like to get back to that as well. I’ve always wanted to work as a reporter at a newspaper during election season. In 2012, I’m wasn’t on any paper. I had graduated by then. I wrote some election related stories online, but nothing local. So, no pizza nights have been experienced by me. Is that a weird thing to want? The 4 AM late-night, no sleep, waiting on election results, trying to make the deadline kind of life. Yup, probably weird. But, politics is such a rush at the same time. I also thought briefly I would be some kind of investigative reporter or work on special reports, but I suppose I’m not saying no to any possibilities but putting all that on hold.

Right now I am working on ESL certification, a nutrition certificate, and maybe yoga or pilates teacher training (this last one is a long and ongoing thought for me, but eventually this will also be a thing for me). I applied to a job I’m probably not qualified for, but I’ve applied to tons of those already. I take rejection by reading the message and deciding to self-destruct the email in the five seconds after reading it or save it because no reason really email just piles up ok?

via Giphy: http://giphy.com/gifs/doctor-who-matt-smith-surprised-fHXqDzNSYJr9e

I know I need my own place though, that much is clear to me. Where? Obviously wherever the job is and wherever I end up. I hope its somewhere I am happy and the co-workers feel like a family. This is something I want besides: More friendships. More get-togethers for no reason, because isn’t that what friends do? I don’t really know, I was hoping you did.

(I do have friends, just not a lot and not one that is like someone I turn to when times are bad.)

So, I’m going to say that for right now it’s ok to be unsure of the next step. I will stay confident that my current educational pursuits will lead me somewhere, who knows it might make me famous or better yet.. working at a newspaper.

via:http://giphy.com/gifs/politics-president-obama-election-night-MvhjO7Jt048ww

New goal (that I may or may not reach, since my interests change often) to meet by Spring 2016: Be on the staff of a local/state newspaper reporting in some form on election coverage. Yes, this would be bucket list level achievement. I’m so weird, I’m so sorry. I bet I will hate the deadlines again once in that environment Basically, something like this:

http://giphy.com/gifs/guns-bacon-ted-cruz-93oANHdtAp69y (Actually I hope not, lol).

Well, happy October and happy time of year when everything around you is pumpkin.

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In case you’re lost, a summary of this post:

http://giphy.com/gifs/friends-what-am-i-doing-with-my-life-even-OZpBpm7c2AGFG