I’m a little worried about going back to failure. I’m also relieved that this will be a fresh new start, or at least resemble it.
It starts that way. The fear tries to eat at you, day in and day out. You do things to get your mind out of the scenarios you have found yourself in but it is generally to no use. You can’t bring your mind to completely shut off. To tell yourself that its ok to not want to think about the larger problem at stake.
There might not even be any problem, but the fear still persists. That you have made a terrible mistake. That you will never stop berating yourself over the decision. Which has already been made and which you need to learn to deal with.
Despite the fear you know you cannot hold onto, you still have some uncertainty. In fact, if the grand plan fails go back to the back-up plans. At this point, plan B is not well-thought out. It’s another grand task to think of the second plan in case of disaster. However, mentally preparing for disaster and heartbreak might mean that when those things actually happen it makes it easier, but it is quite the opposite. In fact, it makes it harder.
However, I’m pressing on and telling the negative toxins to leave me alone because I cannot let my fear of failure hold me back any longer.
Salagadoola mechicka boola Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo It’ll do magic, believe it or not Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
The everyday life you lead is probably not exciting, nor is it magical in any way. You would like to say you do so many cool things all the time. Things that make you feel like you are doing something worth your time. Of course, most of what you do is always worth it, but none of us see it that way because we always will want more. Will need more, will expect more, and will pursue more.
At the very least, what you can try to be is daring. Yeah, that’s a new thing you can strive for this year. No more wallowing. Yes, you wallow and it’s time to stop.
Daring in the sense that you are willing to not only go the extra step but also take a step back and right a wrong. Don’t hold grudges even if you think forgiveness is stupid. Dare yourself to walk for ten minutes a day. Dare yourself to read for ten minutes a day. Dare yourself to get off social media for twenty minutes a day. Dare yourself to not only say you’ll drink more water but actually do it, by throwing out all that La Croix or dumping it all out. You can never really run out of dares, you can just keep struggling to make yourself do them. However, that is not a failure but is admitting you have limits like most people.
I hope you do something pretty cool today. Maybe it won’t be that daring or maybe it will. Either way, I hope you feel great about it and you take the chance to better yourself in this way.
(please don’t dare yourself to steal things or kill someone).
Words: Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo from Cinderella (written in 1948 by Al Hoffman, Mack David, and Jerry Livingston).
Maybe someone once told you that you can’t do something and now it’s making you feel like more than a failure than usual. Someone might have told you “if this can’t work next month, then goodbye” or “hope it all works out for you.” These are only examples of things that will bring your self-esteem more down than you need it to be.
To get that self-esteem back, the best thing to remember is that you can’t live up to any expectations others set. You are your own person and you have your own goals. Achieve them on your own time and level. It’s best to think about it this way: Your success does not denote you to the same achievements as others, because those goals are not always what you really want.
What you really want then is to carve out a kind of goal that makes you feel fulfilled. Makes you wonder how you got so lucky at that thing called life. You didn’t, luck is not part of the deal it’s all chance and hard work (unless you don’t play by the rules).
You will get pushed aside and disregarded. It’s part of the goal to get you to a happier place and despite your best efforts, you will still not get where you need to be and what you want without a little pushback. The key is to not let those negative pushes turn into drawbacks for you. Keep striving and keep fighting.
The biggest battle to fight is that which is within yourself. You might not ever overcome it, or pull back from it in pieces and shards only. This is fine, as long as it makes you remember to stay on the path and push forward. Mistakes are just that: Mistakes. They are not an error on you or your character, think differently about your past choices this way.
I was recently reminded that not everything is easy. Just because you might have had one great, but ultimately unfulfilling experience that looks great on a resume doesn’t mean that you will have success with your next endeavors. In all probability, you will fail and fail terribly. It might take some time to come to the realization that what others around you already know: Success must be earned and takes time.
Being someone that for some reason wants to teach, it’s not easy to step into the field. In a time when everyone is cynical and few actually appreciate teachers, being able to do the job right is a strength that many lack. This includes me. I hope that over time, I will be able to look back on the students I have worked with and feel proud to have been in their life. I already have some students who I know I am influencing directly in a positive way. I know that every student is different and not everyone learns the same either. I know that managing a classroom is the hardest part of teaching and I haven’t really mastered it yet. I know where my strengths lie and know ways to make my weaknesses better, however, I do admit to having limits as well. As do most people. I’m certainly no expert in the education field, but working and helping with others is what I know I will continue to do in some form all my life.
Maybe I’m not passionate enough. Maybe I’m not strong enough. These are all things we might tell ourselves in order to remind us that it’s ok to fail, at least this once. Maybe the rejections hurt in the moment, but they don’t really define who we are. I know that I can’t let any bad decisions or rejections turn me upside down. I will instead focus on what I can do and why I want to do the things I do.
The truth is, it might take 30 job rejections to realize you don’t know if you want what you’re seeking. However, at 10 more rejections, you know that you can do what you set your mind to and it doesn’t matter what others might think of you. You can reach your highest potential and achieve great success within yourself.
It’s likely that this year you have faced some failures. Some mishaps. Found yourself on a path that you’re not entirely proud of, but you are hoping for the best at this point. You are pretty certain that you are doing ok, but not sure what steps to take next to be great. The struggle comes from the realization that you are and probably always will be a failure in some way.
In the same vein though, you are the exact opposite of that. You are thriving and growing each and every day. Yay you! Alright, so let’s say it’s five years from now, you have achieved what you wanted and satisfaction is oh so sweet. You’re feeling not just happy, but pure contentment in your life and choices. Something is nagging at you though and it is the need to create. As humans we will always want to create something, it doesn’t matter your personality type (introverted or extroverted). However, creativity can lead to different happiness levels. Maybe your feelings on a certain subject or idea will change. Maybe you will hate everything about what your life has become up to that point. Maybe you wonder if you are not actually putting your time to good use. After all, creativity is everywhere and not everyone has to be a part of that. You can buy creativity but would it mean anything to you, would it have any value?
Let me say this then. You’re a teacher. You’re a writer. You’re a U/X designer. You’re an IT professional. You’re a babysitter. You’re a grocery-store clerk. You’re a bookseller. You’re a librarian. You’re a barista. You are creative, but you a part of a generation that doesn’t value you. You’re part of a society that values things that are more practical because they make more sense for future generations. Things like STEM technology, e-commerce and trade, finance and banking, law, and medicine are jobs the world needs more than a teacher or writer. The things that you want to do may not lead you down an easy road to success. You definitely won’t get to where to want to be that quickly. You need the drive and patience to not give up.
Success will never be easy if you’re a teacher. You won’t be making much. You will be overworked. You might have to work two other jobs, at least. You will have to take care of other personal projects as they come. You have to fight your own battles out there you creative soul.
Success may make or break you. I hope that it will make you stronger, but it could very well be very hard to achieve and that alone could break you until you are a shattered mess. Hold strong and remember that success is not a shot in the dark but a glowing bright light in a room full of shadows.
You got this. I got this. We all got this.
(cover/featured image via Pexels photo gallery through WordPress).
You forgot to pick up the milk again. You forgot to make sure that you will be writing down your goals this week or this month and now you are flailing around trying to “just get through the week.” Stop sucking and start being awesome is what I’m trying to say.
So you failed. Not a big deal, but at the moment in which the failure is happening that is not what you want to hear. You want to hear why you failed. Why are you screwing up so badly? Again? A common refrain you might utter: what did I do wrong? You probably forgot to check something or do that other thing or tell someone something. Either way, it’s on you only because you said so.
Here’s a piece of advice that you can either take to heart or ignore completely (no in between, because you might be a cynic at this point): There are too many definitions of failure, but they will all amount to the basic idea that success was not or is not achieved. Or the second result from Google: 2. the omission of expected or required action. One might not know what that action is or refers to, but it is not reaching the goal. Trying and failing is standard in the book of failures. Those that live a life in which everything amounts to lowered expectations are not seeing failure for what it is. It is the idea of giving up, of throwing in the towel, all those euphemisms.
Failure is not an excuse to stop trying, but a reason to try differently. It is not a sign of your weakness that you feel the need to stop, but a sign of your own limits. Know those limits, you don’t have to cross them until you feel you are ready. Or maybe your limits will sink you like comfort sinks you like an anchor. It’s great to try, but even greater is the willingness to try a new idea. A new way to think about analyzing failure will eventually lead you to small successes. You will get that job. You will get a new place. You will find growth in your own small victories. Of course, analyzing too hard will only lead you to rethink everything and view failure as the only option.
It’s by design that way. You are already failing, so what’s another courageous try going to do?
Let’s try to have those new ideas and embrace all the bad flaws. The bad flaws are the good flaws now, now don’t go googling any more articles that leave you questioning.
Here’s to you. You are the most underrated human that is so awesome in your not fails.
I’ve probably written about this before, but failure will happen to you. It will hurt and will leave you feeling worthless and might cause you to abandon ship on your current plan. Maybe you need to shift your ideas a bit or reframe your mind. Idealistically, it would appear as though you have to move forward and remember that failing is part of life, as the quotes like to say. So what do you say you give it a try?
I have a hard time giving this a try because I need time to unwind after a big fail. I should be able to just jump back into action, but I cannot. It feels like everything else I try will just end up in failure anyway so what would be the point. I try to remind myself that I need to at least want to achieve more. It can be difficult to want to try but giving ourselves that needed opportunity can make all the difference.
I’m in rebound from a mistake that led me to doubt why I even try. All I wanted was a job, but settling for even that can have a price. If your whole heart is not in your work, it will show. Have passion, have the drive and you will succeed. If not, then I hope you find it someday. If not, someone else will notice what you already knew full well but were ignoring. The pain of failure will stab you in the chest and you will remember that only you make the choices in your life. The decision to leave or move on comes down to how your mind reacts. Sometimes our mind reacts quickly to failing, other times not so fast but that’s ok.
Once we realize that we have failed, we move on. The final step is always acceptance. Don’t let it cloud your thoughts for too long or you will be stuck in an endless loop of questioning your self-worth. If you’re currently back in the loop or can’t get out, let me say this: Just step out. It might sound simple, but you have to do something different now. Your plan didn’t work. But I had no plan b, you think and ok but you still move forward regardless. We try and then we fail. Then we try again and we fail some more, but if you stop altogether you have let the people who want to see you fail most win. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to quit. Find another way to get to your goal. Restart. Reimagine what you could be. It doesn’t’ have to end in hopelessness every time.
Feel happy with your goals because you made them and you will achieve them too.