Maybe someone once told you that you can’t do something and now it’s making you feel like more than a failure than usual. Someone might have told you “if this can’t work next month, then goodbye” or “hope it all works out for you.” These are only examples of things that will bring your self-esteem more down than you need it to be.
To get that self-esteem back, the best thing to remember is that you can’t live up to any expectations others set. You are your own person and you have your own goals. Achieve them on your own time and level. It’s best to think about it this way: Your success does not denote you to the same achievements as others, because those goals are not always what you really want.
What you really want then is to carve out a kind of goal that makes you feel fulfilled. Makes you wonder how you got so lucky at that thing called life. You didn’t, luck is not part of the deal it’s all chance and hard work (unless you don’t play by the rules).
You will get pushed aside and disregarded. It’s part of the goal to get you to a happier place and despite your best efforts, you will still not get where you need to be and what you want without a little pushback. The key is to not let those negative pushes turn into drawbacks for you. Keep striving and keep fighting.
The biggest battle to fight is that which is within yourself. You might not ever overcome it, or pull back from it in pieces and shards only. This is fine, as long as it makes you remember to stay on the path and push forward. Mistakes are just that: Mistakes. They are not an error on you or your character, think differently about your past choices this way.
I was recently reminded that not everything is easy. Just because you might have had one great, but ultimately unfulfilling experience that looks great on a resume doesn’t mean that you will have success with your next endeavors. In all probability, you will fail and fail terribly. It might take some time to come to the realization that what others around you already know: Success must be earned and takes time.
Being someone that for some reason wants to teach, it’s not easy to step into the field. In a time when everyone is cynical and few actually appreciate teachers, being able to do the job right is a strength that many lack. This includes me. I hope that over time, I will be able to look back on the students I have worked with and feel proud to have been in their life. I already have some students who I know I am influencing directly in a positive way. I know that every student is different and not everyone learns the same either. I know that managing a classroom is the hardest part of teaching and I haven’t really mastered it yet. I know where my strengths lie and know ways to make my weaknesses better, however, I do admit to having limits as well. As do most people. I’m certainly no expert in the education field, but working and helping with others is what I know I will continue to do in some form all my life.
Maybe I’m not passionate enough. Maybe I’m not strong enough. These are all things we might tell ourselves in order to remind us that it’s ok to fail, at least this once. Maybe the rejections hurt in the moment, but they don’t really define who we are. I know that I can’t let any bad decisions or rejections turn me upside down. I will instead focus on what I can do and why I want to do the things I do.
The truth is, it might take 30 job rejections to realize you don’t know if you want what you’re seeking. However, at 10 more rejections, you know that you can do what you set your mind to and it doesn’t matter what others might think of you. You can reach your highest potential and achieve great success within yourself.
It’s likely that this year you have faced some failures. Some mishaps. Found yourself on a path that you’re not entirely proud of, but you are hoping for the best at this point. You are pretty certain that you are doing ok, but not sure what steps to take next to be great. The struggle comes from the realization that you are and probably always will be a failure in some way.
In the same vein though, you are the exact opposite of that. You are thriving and growing each and every day. Yay you! Alright, so let’s say it’s five years from now, you have achieved what you wanted and satisfaction is oh so sweet. You’re feeling not just happy, but pure contentment in your life and choices. Something is nagging at you though and it is the need to create. As humans we will always want to create something, it doesn’t matter your personality type (introverted or extroverted). However, creativity can lead to different happiness levels. Maybe your feelings on a certain subject or idea will change. Maybe you will hate everything about what your life has become up to that point. Maybe you wonder if you are not actually putting your time to good use. After all, creativity is everywhere and not everyone has to be a part of that. You can buy creativity but would it mean anything to you, would it have any value?
Let me say this then. You’re a teacher. You’re a writer. You’re a U/X designer. You’re an IT professional. You’re a babysitter. You’re a grocery-store clerk. You’re a bookseller. You’re a librarian. You’re a barista. You are creative, but you a part of a generation that doesn’t value you. You’re part of a society that values things that are more practical because they make more sense for future generations. Things like STEM technology, e-commerce and trade, finance and banking, law, and medicine are jobs the world needs more than a teacher or writer. The things that you want to do may not lead you down an easy road to success. You definitely won’t get to where to want to be that quickly. You need the drive and patience to not give up.
Success will never be easy if you’re a teacher. You won’t be making much. You will be overworked. You might have to work two other jobs, at least. You will have to take care of other personal projects as they come. You have to fight your own battles out there you creative soul.
Success may make or break you. I hope that it will make you stronger, but it could very well be very hard to achieve and that alone could break you until you are a shattered mess. Hold strong and remember that success is not a shot in the dark but a glowing bright light in a room full of shadows.
You got this. I got this. We all got this.
(cover/featured image via Pexels photo gallery through WordPress).
You forgot to pick up the milk again. You forgot to make sure that you will be writing down your goals this week or this month and now you are flailing around trying to “just get through the week.” Stop sucking and start being awesome is what I’m trying to say.
So you failed. Not a big deal, but at the moment in which the failure is happening that is not what you want to hear. You want to hear why you failed. Why are you screwing up so badly? Again? A common refrain you might utter: what did I do wrong? You probably forgot to check something or do that other thing or tell someone something. Either way, it’s on you only because you said so.
Here’s a piece of advice that you can either take to heart or ignore completely (no in between, because you might be a cynic at this point): There are too many definitions of failure, but they will all amount to the basic idea that success was not or is not achieved. Or the second result from Google: 2. the omission of expected or required action. One might not know what that action is or refers to, but it is not reaching the goal. Trying and failing is standard in the book of failures. Those that live a life in which everything amounts to lowered expectations are not seeing failure for what it is. It is the idea of giving up, of throwing in the towel, all those euphemisms.
Failure is not an excuse to stop trying, but a reason to try differently. It is not a sign of your weakness that you feel the need to stop, but a sign of your own limits. Know those limits, you don’t have to cross them until you feel you are ready. Or maybe your limits will sink you like comfort sinks you like an anchor. It’s great to try, but even greater is the willingness to try a new idea. A new way to think about analyzing failure will eventually lead you to small successes. You will get that job. You will get a new place. You will find growth in your own small victories. Of course, analyzing too hard will only lead you to rethink everything and view failure as the only option.
It’s by design that way. You are already failing, so what’s another courageous try going to do?
Let’s try to have those new ideas and embrace all the bad flaws. The bad flaws are the good flaws now, now don’t go googling any more articles that leave you questioning.
Here’s to you. You are the most underrated human that is so awesome in your not fails.
I’ve probably written about this before, but failure will happen to you. It will hurt and will leave you feeling worthless and might cause you to abandon ship on your current plan. Maybe you need to shift your ideas a bit or reframe your mind. Idealistically, it would appear as though you have to move forward and remember that failing is part of life, as the quotes like to say. So what do you say you give it a try?
I have a hard time giving this a try because I need time to unwind after a big fail. I should be able to just jump back into action, but I cannot. It feels like everything else I try will just end up in failure anyway so what would be the point. I try to remind myself that I need to at least want to achieve more. It can be difficult to want to try but giving ourselves that needed opportunity can make all the difference.
I’m in rebound from a mistake that led me to doubt why I even try. All I wanted was a job, but settling for even that can have a price. If your whole heart is not in your work, it will show. Have passion, have the drive and you will succeed. If not, then I hope you find it someday. If not, someone else will notice what you already knew full well but were ignoring. The pain of failure will stab you in the chest and you will remember that only you make the choices in your life. The decision to leave or move on comes down to how your mind reacts. Sometimes our mind reacts quickly to failing, other times not so fast but that’s ok.
Once we realize that we have failed, we move on. The final step is always acceptance. Don’t let it cloud your thoughts for too long or you will be stuck in an endless loop of questioning your self-worth. If you’re currently back in the loop or can’t get out, let me say this: Just step out. It might sound simple, but you have to do something different now. Your plan didn’t work. But I had no plan b, you think and ok but you still move forward regardless. We try and then we fail. Then we try again and we fail some more, but if you stop altogether you have let the people who want to see you fail most win. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to quit. Find another way to get to your goal. Restart. Reimagine what you could be. It doesn’t’ have to end in hopelessness every time.
Feel happy with your goals because you made them and you will achieve them too.
We hesitate. We think we might be making the wrong move, so we stop ourselves. Maybe we could do better or be better. Either way, it leads us to feel like we are less than ourselves on a daily basis. Who is this “we” I am referring to? It’s you. It’s me. It’s anyone that has ever hopeless, lost, or alone. Just sitting around waiting for a hopeful note to come their way. I’m not exactly sure what anyone is so keen on waiting for, but if you want something just go out and grab it.
Being a compassionate person is sometimes a thankless job. One that you will have to adjust to if you love helping others. It’s like when you love seeing another person’s smile light up at the thought that you are helping them achieve something. Whatever you’re reaching for, don’t give up because it might be too hard. If you need that extra push, I hope that this blog post found you at the right moment.
What you need to remember is that you’re not supposed to be winning, but losing. Failure is an option and in fact, anyone that has ever succeeded at great things failed at something. Usually school, which partially means that school won’t give you all the answers you’re looking for. I’m not sure which answers you’re looking for anyway, but know this: Make your own goals and make them unreachable by other people. Things only you can do, things that you know will lift your mood higher. I have no examples, but if you’re reading this and smiling then you already know what you must do.
The next thing you need to do is take five. Yeah, this not a movie set I know and maybe you have no time for that but listen to the annoying people telling you to “make time.” Maybe you want to get angry at these people and think, “I can’t just pull time out of thin air.” You can’t, unless you have a black hole behind your house, so good luck with that. Sure scheduling time for fun is easy enough, but don’t schedule time for yourself. Just do it. It’s better when it’s unplanned. So, right now if you made the time to read this go to a quiet cafe somewhere or a bookstore. Sit there for a while. Read, write and try to not look at your phone but don’t scold yourself for caving and getting on Instagram. It’s ok, you didn’t fail you did take time for you just in a different way. You don’t need to “unplug.” Telling someone to do that these days is more than difficult. What you need to do is readjust your settings. What matters more? Being happy and honest with yourself or helping someone else. Maybe you have no desire to help someone else and that’s ok too. However, in every job you have, you will be working with others and even if the end result is the same its nothing without some assistance on both sides. You can’t fail alone and you can’t fail if you didn’t put all your blood and effort into a certain task.
The failed feelings come in when we realize that we can’t get to where we want to be because of obstacles in our way. Those obstacles could be people, ideas we don’t agree with, or a strong feeling in our chest that is causing us to have trouble breathing (also known as insecurity). Find the comfort in the discomfort and somehow tell yourself that you need to do more find success. Not high success. Not CEO success, but the success that lets you know that you’re doing just fine regardless of your past mistakes.