Posted in family, life

Following in a Shadow

It’s the start of another week and the end of another. What does this mean? Still trying to find ground, but not being unproductive. Most of what I do with my time is writing, reading, and studying. There’s still a lot to consider and much to think about. Most people are off trying to watch something, write something, achieve something, or make a living doing something that is not terrible (hard task actually). Anyway, I heard or read somewhere once that all of us are leaders in our own way just trying to get others to see what we have to present.

This might be true, yet there are still so many of us not sure of what we want. To say and commit to making change is easy, but creating and making that change last is a difficult task. Especially for someone that is not very good at everyday interaction (awkward turtles, I’m looking at you). Do you ever feel as though something or some force is preventing you from your goal? Something to be passed through first or some test to be undertaken to reach a goal? It’s always the same, goals never change for some people. You might be tired of people telling you to “think outside the box”, when you need to be confined to your one box in order to find a way out to the world. Is this true though?

Those not sure where to turn should know that friends and family are the best source of support. In depression, in uncertainty, in life choices it is always good to have a shoulder to cry on or to laugh on. But, most choices must still be made by you. YOU. I include myself in knowing that the choices I make now will reflect my future life, because I am still young and want to learn more about life. Sometimes, I feel as though the place I am trying to get to will never open it’s doors to me or that my family will not see me the same way as my sister. This is not true, but one begins to feel as though there are not their own person if the accomplishments of another continue to grow leaving one to feel empty and cold inside. I couldn’t be more proud, but at the same time I wonder; Is this it for me? I don’t want it to be, but I’m not like others my age. I do not know where life is taking me. OK, I am very much like people my age.

The point is no one has to be this way. It does not have to be so hard to enjoy life. To realize that you actually have a shadow and are a real person with goals and ambitions. It’s perfectly ok to give up on yourself sometimes (I’m convinced that my sister does sometimes as well) but don’t let it stay with you forever. That would amount to nothing but heartache and frustration. Follow others so that you can one day lead, in your own special way.

Posted in changes

Doing Something Different

Alright, well it is a new year so I guess that means changing things. In what way? Not really sure yet, but trying to get there slowly. Well, first off I have A LOT of books I want to read this year as well as movies I haven’t seen yet that I want to see. More than that, I plan to apply to different jobs once I get my resume and cover letter organized and critiqued a few times. It’s time to think about how I want to view myself in a few years or down the road.

A friend of mine got engaged last year and her wedding is in the Spring. It’s so crazy to think about, but it’s really happening. I’m thinking more school and more fun before I go there though. Also, today is National Hugging Day and supposedly we should all be happy. Not just today, but everyday. Hug someone. This is kind of crazy for me to be endorsing because as my family and friends would know, I am no fan of hugs. But, sometimes you just need a moment to grab a hold of a little love. It’s like assurance that it will all be ok, maybe not today or tomorrow but at least in that moment know that’s it’s ok to smile. Just a thought.

I mean to put posts out on Sunday’s. So, today feels like Sunday even though I know it’s Monday and it’s MLK day. Speaking of that, was Dr. Kings’s dream realized? Was it fulfilled in the way he thought it would be? I certainly think so. We take for granted the fact that we can go everywhere, there are no Jim Crow laws and no one is forced to do something they do not want to (well, ok this might be an exaggeration because kids have to go to school and such but you know what I mean). Yes, unfortunately in some places discrimination does exist. It can tear friendships, families, and communities apart. Society knows this, but still there are those who are stubborn in their beliefs. Still, we have come a long way. It would seem that people from all backgrounds respect the legacy of Dr. King and what he stood for. It was something that defined a generation and put an end to a tragic time in America’s history.

I want to keep to this, maybe I’ll post something tomorrow. The theme for this week is: Understanding why society changes the way it does in order to adapt to changing leaders. Or, whatever I decide to write about.