Posted in goals, life, new things

Can I do all the things I want?

oh hey. I think I wanted to write a blog. I need to fix the timestamp but until I do that I’m writing this post ahead of time (which I don’t always remember to do because sometimes you just want to blog something ya feel?)

So, like I said in my last post I am trying to contribute to healthy lifestyles. Am I doing a good job with that? Moving on. Looking at a post I wrote back in May, I was pretty sure that to get a job I needed to “put a little more effort into it.” Can’t say I did the best job with that, but I wasn’t setting the bar very high either. I should set my expectations higher maybe? I don’t know.


I should just stop writing I don’t know. I don’t know is that weird? It might be a bad habit or might just be the way I speak. The truth is that I do know. I know I want a job, and a reason to feel somewhat accomplished. I haven’t gotten far in post-graduate studies, but maybe online classes will help along with some other fitness certifications I hope to achieve. Too many maybes, not enough certainly? Oh, but that’s only the beginning of the “why” question for me. The larger question of why am I here and what am I meant to be doing. That sort of thing. That’s probably a post for another day, though.

So I’m a mix of whatever right now. I love to travel. I want so much to leave this small town I’m in (an easy feat, but I digress) and go someplace new. I started a TEFL class last week and so far its been readings and more readings. This is important though if I want to do this. For those not sure what’s going on, TEFL stands for Teach English as a Foreign Language as in another country. Part of the requirement for my class requires 60 hours of practicum teaching to be done locally. So, that’s another project for me but I’m not super stressed about it. Where will I teach? Maybe Asia. Maybe the Middle East. Maybe Europe (though not Greece, sorry). I’ve been thinking about this for awhile and I hope that I’m not in over my head. It’s obviously too late to have second thoughts, so I might as well go head first. So the real why? I don’t know. I want to teach. I guess I’ve always wanted to teach. In what capacity that is I don’t think I have fully grasped yet. I had a failed attempt at subbing locally yet that didn’t deter me from doing this.

However, that is not my only interest. I also love journalism and consider myself a writer first and foremost. I want to start a business of some sort, sell something people want to buy (yes, I thought about being a makeup rep. for a little bit but I know a few folks who do that and it feels weird but erm). Maybe one day I will be a good health reporter who is able to work abroad and occasionally teach on the side. While teaching some yoga and pilates classes. Maybe also working as a personal trainer for some people. And a health coach because that’s important to the package right? Being a sort of overachiever is hard sometimes. Or possibly I’ll just travel. Alone, because really isn’t that when the most reflection happens anyway?

from diy lol

Basically, I want to do all the things. When, people ask me a moderately reasonable twenty-something what she’s doing with her life my response is something like: “Teaching, but writing. I’m taking classes.” Oh, sidenote. If there are any family gaherings coming up, saying you’re doing more school always sounds better than doing nothing. At least it counts for something. For the answer after that? You’re on your own.

So, maybe just maybe I do not have all the answers. More likely, you might have just wasted some time reading this. But, fear not because if you are an awesome person than I’m sure you don’t have all the answers either. If you do, then great but would you mind sharing what you know with the rest of us?

Posted in changes, family, goals, life, personal, self-actualization

Home is home (wherever that is for you)

Maybe we limit ourselves. Maybe we don’t think out of the box too much because we’re scared. There’s little doubt that these things and more are true. You, see a recent article in The New York Times Magazine on boomerang offspring, aka kids still living at home after the age of 23 reminded of how much a generation doesn’t force on itself because well..internet.

No, this is the reason I blame for a lot of things. Unless you’re able to restrict your internet time and put it to good use every day, chances are you have wasted time online at one time or another if not every day (but not right now, because this is a great post amirite? ;).

Anyway, I can relate with this theory and idea that millennials do not really have it easy. Some might say that they don’t try so much, with others calling them “the me, me, me generation” or making lists of how millennials are ruining certain industries or careers. There’s a lot out there. You either agree or disagree. Sometimes there is a middle ground, where people are like “but that’s not everyone!” Is it? You begin to lose hope and feel diminished (adding to greater misery) by reading and coming across articles that pull a certain group of the population down. I’ll admit that I fall into the group that doesn’t really know how her life is going to pan out and yes that does bother me. In fact, it freaks me out sometimes. I don’t have a plan, but I’m not “winging it” either. I have the guidance and support of my family to be able to lean back on. Of course, I don’t want to lean on my parents for the rest of my life which is why I made a conscience decision to move out of state into a much larger city. Jumping headfirst into uncharted territory, knowing chances aren’t going to come along unless I go for them myself.

Not everyone can do this though. I understand that. I’m going to be real here and say that I could move faraway, but I’ll probably always come back to my parents wherever they are. Because it’s good to have something to come back to. You’re not a failure. I’m saying this while remembering countless times where I pretty much cried myself to sleep thinking sad thoughts like this. It’s hard to get past and in many ways, I’m still in that place. I know that many are not going to leave what they know.  Because comfort sinks you like an anchor.

Moving away from me though, here is what some Twitter users had to say about that article and millennials in general:

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Yeah, I don’t really know.


Know this though. Home is home. Do what you want, write want you want, and read what you want (hopefully you read, if not then you’re lying because you just read this). I’m one of those people that give advice, but doesn’t really follow it. What I’m trying to say is find your happy place. It’s probably not wallowing at home. I know it’s not. Being at home can get own on you, especially if your parents are not really the most supportive about it. Go outside. Ride a bike. Go for a walk. Go to the park. Get off the internet. It will give you something to do and this is probably what I’m about to do when I get done writing this.

Ok, this is getting kind of sad maybe. I hope wherever you’re reading this, its somewhere you know you are supported and loved. No one deserves to be a toxic environment. If you are in such a place, leave as fast as you can (if you can!)


I’m also not one to give hugs. No, really ask anyone that knows me. Hugs are not my thing. But, you made it to the end and you should know by now that someone out there thinks you’re awesome. Have an awesome day and smile! 🙂

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Posted in life, self-actualization

Is this it?

Alright, I have just about had it. I am doing what I can and while I know I am not the only one, I still hate it. My little sister even has a job, part-time at the movie theater, but where I live that’s even a small victory. Of course, I want something which I can do and will love. Is is too much to think too hard about what will be? I thought so.

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This is a bit of a rant. It’s not really hopelessness, but it’s more like “why?” I seriously am beginning to doubt my worth. It’s nothing. No point. I am a pointless dot who lives on Earth. Alright, sorry a little too dramatic there. But millennials want more. I know they do. They are not all lazy and they are not all just sitting around waiting (though, yes the majority of us are). Sometimes we want to curl up into a corner and pretend that none of this exists.

Without some people, I would be pretty alone. More alone that I already am. I hate sometimes how social media can squeeze us into tight connections that don’t always have meaning. Or we feel the need to create those bonds, because we have nothing else. Really, though. It’s branding. We all want to brand an image for ourselves, we just are not sure entirely of how to do that. Mostly for the reason that we really have no “brand.” I’m just me and it’s hard to say anything else besides.

Consistency is needed to promote yourself online. This is a pain too, but you either enjoy it or you love it. But at the same time you also are thinking “what is the point of this again?” Oh right, I need a brand so I can promote myself to others, in a professional way (some people have two brands: One that is professional and one that is casual. I don’t really recommend this, it makes a person come off as fake but unfortunately we must separate the two and conform so therefore we all do it). Then this brand(s) will help me get an interview, then a job offer, then rejection. Then another job offer, and acceptance into a great company with full benefits and health coverage. Something we all struggle to find in a job these days. Alright, so the last one there is mostly a dream for people. It doesn’t happen. Does that make me sad? Yes and no. I am a part of a generation that really tries hard not to be too bothered by perfection and dreams. They don’t always amount to what we think they will anyway.

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The real struggle then: Hoping all this will pan out. You know how people say that “hope” can really get you through some hard times, with some wearing those trendy “faith”, “hope” or “love” bracelets. Those things are just made of money to make us feel better. Mission accomplished for that, but not for our mind. That will forever be wondering “what should I do?”

I hope for now at least that these panic-stricken moments, where I stay up all night restless with a headache thinking of scenarios, will one day slowly subside and I will find peace in having employment at a place that is respectable and far away from here.

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