Posted in goals, life, self-actualization

Misguided but not worthless

It would seem that people are always going to be misguided in some way. They might say that no, not me. I’m perfect. I’m a shining star. However, at some point or another most all of us have fallen prey to the idea that we could be greater than ourselves, greater than what we can afford to be. It’s not a worthless idea, in fact, its good to have dreams as it keeps the mind healthy and active (source: me). The problem arises when the ideas are not realistic and are set into motion anyway.

Maybe you really like bowling, but you haven’t done it for a while. Whenever you do play, its strikes all around though because you’re just that good. Everyone wants you on their team. They tell you to join a bowling league. You think it could be cool, so why not? is what you ask yourself. So cool, now you’re a bowler. Now what? Basically, you start to think about other things you could be doing that are out of your everyday life. What about quitting your job and becoming a YouTuber? What about traveling to South America, because you have that thing called wanderlust and need to travel, according to some article you read. Of course, you could have the idea that you move to Canada because healthcare is free. All of these ideas and “goals” are based on a logic that you are failing in what you are currently doing. Don’t buy into that. Why?

Because YouTube is hard. Maybe 11 years ago it was cool to start a new channel and be someone big, but now many of the big stars of YouTube have an agent, or contract, or company that they work for. There is also a lot of sponsored content as well. It’s not all bad, though fooling ourselves into believing we will be great stars overnight without a large team behind us may not work out as we hoped. You also don’t need to travel. When we lust after something, that’s just a desire to have that thing in our life. Once it is gone, we move on and seek comfort in the things that we are used to. However, you could also move abroad someplace and dramatically change your life. And Canada? Sure, It’s great, but where are you from? Where is your home and will you find it in Canada? If your answer is not a surefire yes then you have no reason to leave just yet.

So keep on keeping on. Keep up the good fight. Keep the battle strong. All those euphemisms for life. You can do it without the gimmicks, you are your own person.

(cover gif source).

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Posted in goals, personal

To travel or settle?

Not sure what my major plans are for the next few years. I hope to keep teaching. I also hope to work as a writer. I also would like to teach yoga. I will be traveling and that is all I know for certain.

I love traveling. But I hate flying. Road trips can be fun if there are cool stops along the way. Too many people on said road trip could be bothersome and icky but adventures are “a must” for this generation. Or so say the countless articles and blog posts reminding young people to explore the world and find themselves, before the terror of “settling down” creeps up on them. Because it will. It can be avoided for as long as possible until one day one wakes up and realizes that the life they are living is not doing anything for them. It is time then to rethink things.

Retooling or rethinking things does not always translate well for all. For some, this means a change in career or a major move. While others decide it is just much simpler to get married and have kids. Yup, I said it. For others having a steady job, trusting friends and family, paid time off, and the ability to give back equals a fulfilled and possibly a settled life. The other segment will keep traveling. Will keep making themselves move forward with traveling and trying to find out who they really are. Of course, they know who they are. It’s just the excuse of travel, of getting out that everyone loves to say.

I would like a traveling companion. I would like to see more of the world. I have barely seen any of it really. Life is short and I all I can think about are all the places I would like to see. But, traveling also costs a good deal of money. To get that money, one has to work. Working for long and doing well leads to more opportunities within a certain company or profession. We all want to move forward. So we do and that trip we want to take never happens. The idea fades away and we do what everyone else does in society: We settle. Is it so wrong to settle? We begin to ask ourselves (to which the answer is no, it absolutely is not wrong). But, we continue to wonder and that wonder is what drives me to travel now and find traveling friends to join me on that journey.

Life is short, travel a little!

Posted in life, Uncategorized

Goodbye year

And so another year ends and another begins. As it goes with the circle of life. We live, we eat, we smile, we laugh, we cry, we are sad and we die. Life is so everyday and it so mundane sometimes, that we just don’t really know what to do with ourselves about it sometimes I think. But, with the end of the year also comes the time to reflect on the past 12 months. At least that’s what everyone else is doing. I guess you can’t help but look back. Maybe you wonder at what could have been or what should have been. Or in some cases you are just so fond of a memory you would love to relive it. So, here are some of the best music, places, books and things seen/done this year. As I write this, I realize that on a personal level I did more to make myself happy than in other years. Maybe it was because I was done with school and didn’t really find a long-term job, but whatever it was I tried new things even if those things were not all that exciting.

Places
Italy


I went to Italy in March. I was invited as an alumni (from my university) in a time when I was really like “I want to travel somewhere.” I didn’t think I would end up going though, though my family pushed me to try it and travel. It was an experience I’ll never forget. Seeing the cathedrals in Florence and Siena and being near the Vatican when a new pope came in was something. (I was literally in the Vatican the day before the announcement was made. Many of us wanted to go back to see, but we had to stick to schedule). I went to Pompeii, I went to Pisa, I spent some time in Rome and ate some gelato in Pisa and stared at the canals in Florence. It was magical. A part of me wonders, though if I got a bit of a free trip out of essentially (there was an initial deposit) and I had to sit in on some of the classes that were going there. On the whole, I lost contact with the people. This makes me think I should get back on fb just to get that back and to tell all of them I loved the trip as much as they did. Yup, not going to forget this one.

Smoky Mountains, Tennessee/Gatlinburg
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In early August, I believe I went with my family for a weekend in the mountains. We stayed in a condo type place. Not too high up, but high enough that it was peaceful. We went on like three hikes in the mountains, but the most memorable was going up this trail in which is started raining so hard. But once we started, we had to finish so we kept going totally getting wet and soaked to the core. The walk back we just laughed it off and I knew then that I would not forget that day. Pigeon Forge is a little too touristy for my taste and Gatlinburg can be too, but it’s not as bad. I like the quiet of the mountains better than the commercialization which comes along with it. I definitely want to go back.

Bunbury Music Festival, Cincinatti OH
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This was the first music festival I went to. I went with my sisters in mid July, like a week after the fourth. The festival was three days, but we only went to the first day. I pretty much loved this because I saw Walk the Moon and Fun on the same day and they were both awesome and the energy was high. Plus, it was summer and the location was good and it reminded me of happy days and carefree thinking (for only a few hours, of course).

California
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In the last week, I went to California. I went to San Francisco, visited parts of Silicon Valley, and then drove with my family along the Pacific Coast Highway. One of the highlights of the two day roadtrip there included Hearst Castle, a magnificent castle/mansion built by William Randolph Hearst. The other highlight was the ocean. Just looking at it. Eventually we arrived in LA, but went to Glendale first for nostalgia (used to live there). Basically, California is the best place ever. I would love to live in the Bay Area one day or even more south. The west coast stole my heart and I’m pretty sure it stole my family’s too (we’re still thinking about it with my dad threatening that “if it doesn’t get warm soon, we’re going back.”) I would love that actually. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m definitely going back west.

Music
It’s really hard to think back to like January and wonder what I was listening to then. It might have been something like Walk the Moon and the Mountain Goats (also, probably some fun and other trending music e.g. Katy Perry).

Mackelmore & Ryan Lewis So, I don’t remember when I first heard Mackelmore, it might not have been this year but I definitely did listen to him a lot and I think he deserves his fame. I will be a bit of a hipster and say that I remember when someone tweeted Same Love before it went mainstream and suddenly it was everywhere and was listening more closely to the song and it sort of became an anthem without meaning to. It was awesome.

She & Him Around September, I heard of She & Him. This through reading about Zooey Deschanel and listening to music and watching 500 days of summer (one of my favorites). I never bought any of their music, but I realized that I had seen it around the indie scene and heard them in cofeeshops and things. Like elevator music that was calming you could fall asleep soundly. Once when I heard them in Panera, I got excited and smiled to myself but probably no one else could hear the music if they weren’t listening hard enough. Do I wish they had more recognition? Maybe, but I like their indie feel. I have a playlist on spotify dedicated to them. This is how I know they are awesome.

Fitz and the Tantrums I really started listening to this band on spotify. I had heard of them before, but had not really listened to their music. It’s the best ever. After finding out that the concert I was going to would be theirs, I pretty much binged on their music. It worked well and when the concert came around, I knew all the songs. Really though, they’re awesome check them out if you’re a fan of a bit of motown and some rock on the side.

Capitol Cities That concert I mentioned? It was to see this band. It was both together. In a matter of a few months, I would say I got slowly addicted to both bands and listened to like nothing but them. I just want to dance to all their songs.

Twenty one pilots I’ve heard of them, too but only started listening to them until recently. As to be expected, I am in love.

American Authors I heard this band at Bunbury. They were not famous. I heard them on the radio the other day. They are going places people, buy their ep on itunes. I’m sure they’ll have a full length soon. They are def a band to watch out for.

Bastille Alright, so at the moment I’ve only really listened to a few of their songs. I really like Pompeii. It played a lot on my recent vacation and it made me want to know more about the band. So, yeah check them out.

Books
I don’t really feel like describing all these books, so I’ll just link to where I posted summaries on my tumblr.

Divergent by Veronica Roth
So I read the whole series, actually but the first book is where it all started. I really liked it and wanted more. I made we want to continue reading, so I would say that makes it a book worth reading (especially if you are drawn towards the genre of dystopian fiction).

Delirium by Lauren Oliver
Yet another dystopian novel trilogy. I liked this one and it stood out to me because in it love is forbidden, no banned. At eighteen, youth in this society undergo a procedure to remove all emotion thereby removing any cause for love. I fell in love with a book saying love was bad.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Getting on to the classics, I finally read this this year. Yay. Just as good as people make it out to be.

Emma by Jane Austen
The only Jane Austen I read this year, but it’s one of my favorites by her actually. I read early in the year and it feels like years ago, but yes. This book was love and I would read it again.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
An incredibly powerful fable about following your destiny. Everyone should read this story. It shouldn’t take you that long and I’m sure you’ll remember it when you’re done.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chobosky
Read this after wanting to for awhile too. I didn’t get the ending right away, but when I did I knew it was a real and heartfelt story (It is fictional, but the message I mean).

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
I now love Rainbow Rowell. Not only for this book, but for her awesome writer self. This was a sad, romantic book but I still loved it.

Behind the Beautiful Forevers by Katherine Boo
This is one of the few non-fiction books I read this year. I really have to say that it was insightful and showed that the author had done her research well.

Alif the Unseen by G. Willow Wilson
I almost forgot about this one. It was the best. It’s part mystery, part thriller and set in a mysterious setting of deserts in a faraway middle east land. Filled with magic, mysticism, and mystery it is definitely one to read.

The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak
I read this book in the summer. I think it goes on the top for best book I read this year. Now, I know the movie just came out and I do want to watch that. But, I have to say don’t let the size of this book throw you off. It’s good. Really good and the story will not only make you sad, it will make you think. So if you have nothing to do for the next two months, then read this book.

Other
Also this year, I thought about volunteering. Thought about some more, then finally did it. I thought about teaching. I thought about substituting. I thought about Teach for America and teaching english as a foreign language in another country. I applied to different places. I almost got an offer. I don’t know if I’m going to live in New York this time next year or not. I’m probably more happier though. I bought some stuff and whoops, I want to buy more stuff (and throw away old clothes).

And that’s me. So, wherever you are maybe you’re stressing out about the end of the year deadlines or maybe you are ready to party it up and ring in the new year. Whatever your new year’s plan, it’s not bad to look back either. Also, stop making resolutions and just jump in because life is short after all.

Live the life you want to live, don’t worry about others.

Posted in life

Back to Writing

Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged anything. I traveled abroad since my last post, came back and am trying to find a job. But, somehow I’m not as depressed or sad as I was before. Travel is something interesting. What is does to you is another in that it can cause one to remember why they exist. I think it’s something called Wanderlust, it affects everyone who loves or yearns to travel.

But, like I said now I’m back. I want to do a travel type blog posting my pictures day by day, since I really didn’t get to do that while I was gone. I’m getting back into working out. Yoga and overall stretching is definitely my newfound love. It puts my in a great mood and just lifts my spirits. I’m looking forward to warmer weather. It’s spring, but still dealing with a late winter storm (in spring). Whatever, I blame global warming. It’s making all us humans suffer. I would say what did we do to deserve this, but I know better..

The best thing I want to do is to try to write again. Article writing, fiction writing, or just writing in general. It’s what I do and it actually has been awhile. I have nothing else to say. This is just a post to be like: I’m still alive, breathing, and happy.

Posted in life

Decisions

In this particular moment I am at a crossroads. I am trying to decide whether it is in my best interest to travel, or just stay where I am and work on finding a steady job. Yes, travel is what I what. So. Much. But, I can’t push away the feeling that there is something out there for me–here. But, I just haven’t found it yet. But, at the same time I don’t know when I will or if I even will get whatever I want here (heck, I don’t even know what I’m looking for). OK, sorry, that’s a lot of “but’s.” I’m really uncertain. (I’m almost said “but” again). It’s hard. Change is hard and I think we all know that to some degree.

I want to write and everyday I think to myself, “I don’t really write enough.” I’m grateful for the people in my life now, but what happens in the future? I would like to have a chance to work somewhere I enjoy, with people that are great. I want to find that one person to spend my life with. I don’t want to end up alone, even though most days I already feel so alone. I’m not sure what steps to take next, but I know that my time is running out here. I need to think long and hard about what I want to do and think for real. I understand that not everything is about me, yet at the same time not everything is always going to be the same either. Everything happens for a reason, it’s just not always known right away (at least that’s what I’m told).

Anyway, back to the dilemna. I want to go with a group from school to Italy, but I am still so unsure. It’s time to make a decision though. Regarding not only insurance, but if anyone wants to come with me. Should I let my mom come with me? I wish I had more friends, this would allow for more options. It’s the opportunity, really of a lifetime. I can’t say that I will be spending all my time with my mother on the whole trip, but it would be nice to have someone there. I would not be so alone, while being alone with a group of people I barely know. I have one day to decide. This is important and I know that it doesn’t matter whether I go or not, but if I do go I will have to be thinking about things as well. Attending a meeting about it, if I make up my mind soon enough. Right now it might be a maybe. When I saw the email inviting me to go along, because of extra space I contacted the ladies in charge almost immediately if not right then. For me, making decisions is not definite which kills me and everyone else. I hate to keep people waiting, just like I hate to give up on myself but I probably am anyway. Whatever happens, happens. I only hope that I know what my reasons are and understand them fully.

“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” –E.B. White