Oh hi there.
It’s been five months since this blog has been updated. That’s way too long. Not really sure how that happened, but yeah there it is. Five months. Whoo, so much has happened.
To start with, I am teaching English abroad. I am living in a different country. I am immersed in a local culture that five months prior I really knew nothing about. Life is so crazy. I have made so many new friends and learned so much about life. Things that I took for granted before are greatly missed. I miss people from home, foods and the reminder that I am not alone. Those are the kinds of things that keep me up at night.
I teach kindergarten and grade 2 to children who barely speak English or really none at all. It’s a challenge working to meet them on their level. To try to make them understand me and what I am trying to teach them. At the same time, it’s a joy that is unparalleled to anything else I’ve done. Sometimes I wake up and can’t believe I do what I do. Can’t believe that I take the time to create a lesson, can’t believe that I am teaching in a country so far away from home, can’t believe that I am living and going to work in another country. Some things are similar (Mondays suck no matter what country you’re in) and others are different. If it wasn’t for technology allowing me to talk to family back home, I would be sad all the time honestly. Social media keeps me locked in, but I’ve become more out of tune with the news cycle. I just don’t follow it as regularly as I used to. I’ve stepped out of that political news bubble and it feels very freeing.
I make myself feel stronger by knowing that it doesn’t have to all be about me. It’s about the kids. That’s the job I came to do and it comes first. Of course, it doesn’t take precedence though over a life well-lived. What I mean by that is, I came to teach sure but also to explore and travel and see things. That is what I try to do when I have the chance. To go someplace new, discover a new place and meet new people along the way as well. It’s all relative, but it keeps me grounded knowing that I have come so far already. Knowing that as of late, I am keeping myself fairly healthy with the new foods I have found and consume. I also know that the support system I have in place works because it is strong and built to make me want to keep doing this.
Getting out of bed each day, I tell myself that I’ll do some “organizing” today. It doesn’t always happen. The one thing that I wanted to do in that organizing list was write. Just write. Nothing fancy, no planning. No order. In a place that is bright, perhaps in a nearby park that I enjoy going to. It’s important to find solace in the things that give us joy when we are feeling alone and know that no one else can understand us. I can’t make friends easily, but I am working on it. I could have gone out today, explored or walked. I did not. Instead, I let myself breathe into the temptation to do nothing. To just relax. I do this often though (mostly because teaching a class of 42 is hard and grueling work) and I want to do more. To see more. But, I also know its ok to not want to. It’s ok to want to push yourself to try though.
I tried. I succeeded. It’s a process and it’s still going strong.