That feeling of feeling lost or overwhelmed is evident when you decide to not set goals. Maybe you say you have “no goals”, but ultimately everyone has an endgame. There is a destination that we’re all hoping to get to one day, hopefully not by wasted dream but instead by manifested reality.
In all my wildest dreams, I always imagined myself to be doing the things that matter. The things that will make me a “somebody,” as if I am not already. It is as if I have some kind of aim to be famous, but no exact direction to get there. My kind of fame is the sort where I wonder what I am doing wasting my time with no plan, but feel happy regardless. No, not happy in spite of or because of. Simply happy, because I do have what I need.
Anyway, as I’m reflecting on how to get myself out there I know I don’t need to at the same time. I can be content being a nobody to most people, because to the ones that count I am a somebody. Also, according to physics, we are all just bits of stars.
I’ve been getting bad at getting to the things I keep telling myself I “mean to do.” It’s December and I know I won’t get to them. Admitting this is the first step probably key to not losing your mind.
I’m fairly certain I am wasting a lot of time when I am not writing. However, this month is looking to be a good one. I am giving myself a social media free month and so far it is going great and I am happy (not that I wasn’t before, but my productivity levels seem increased). I do still acknowledge that I enjoy sleeping but on the days that I have to work early are those that I feel more content later about.
As most people reflect on a year (well-spent or otherwise), I wonder how I fell back into the “home” trap. The saying goes that “comfort sinks you like an anchor” and that is certainly true when referencing one’s safe home, the place where one is at ease and comfortable the most. I can’t say I’ll ever really step out of this trap, but I’d like to find a home someplace else. Someplace different to challenge me once more.
Anyway, for lack of explanation I am grateful for this life. I am hopeful, but also level-headed and realistic. Optimism is great, but so is having some disposable income.
That might have sounded selfish, but then the world is selfish and frankly, I am part of the problem and not always the solution.
It would seem that in most areas of life, people are trying to get by on the promise of greatness someone else told them. It’s possible that greatness will not be achieved nor will it amount to any real goals. Not unless it is acted upon.
I’ve noticed that people that do great are those that, among other things, are early risers. Now, I do love sleeping but I also love to be productive and not waste time in the day. In a habit that I could break any day now, I wake up way before the sun and then stay up working on other tasks that take time but are better achieved in the morning hours. The reason for my early get-up has to do with the online work I do, but I have grown to see the benefits of waking up early the more that I do it.
There a feeling of duty and not laziness. Sure, you might love to crawl back into bed and into those warm blankets but you got yourself up for a reason. You want to work on a certain task(s) and this is the time to do it. Yes social media is there, but it’s quiet. Most people are sleeping when you are working on your self. Great work. Maybe if you’re up for it, you can squeeze in a morning workout as well. This can help energize the rest of your day and 11 pm will really start to feel like how your mother described it once as “half the day gone” because you have been so productive in the morning.
So maybe you’re reading this while drinking coffee. Maybe you’re sick and lying on your computer all day. It’s possible you don’t want to be a morning person. No one said you had to be, you do have to find the way to make your goals happen that work best for you.
It’s likely that this year you have faced some failures. Some mishaps. Found yourself on a path that you’re not entirely proud of, but you are hoping for the best at this point. You are pretty certain that you are doing ok, but not sure what steps to take next to be great. The struggle comes from the realization that you are and probably always will be a failure in some way.
In the same vein though, you are the exact opposite of that. You are thriving and growing each and every day. Yay you! Alright, so let’s say it’s five years from now, you have achieved what you wanted and satisfaction is oh so sweet. You’re feeling not just happy, but pure contentment in your life and choices. Something is nagging at you though and it is the need to create. As humans we will always want to create something, it doesn’t matter your personality type (introverted or extroverted). However, creativity can lead to different happiness levels. Maybe your feelings on a certain subject or idea will change. Maybe you will hate everything about what your life has become up to that point. Maybe you wonder if you are not actually putting your time to good use. After all, creativity is everywhere and not everyone has to be a part of that. You can buy creativity but would it mean anything to you, would it have any value?
Let me say this then. You’re a teacher. You’re a writer. You’re a U/X designer. You’re an IT professional. You’re a babysitter. You’re a grocery-store clerk. You’re a bookseller. You’re a librarian. You’re a barista. You are creative, but you a part of a generation that doesn’t value you. You’re part of a society that values things that are more practical because they make more sense for future generations. Things like STEM technology, e-commerce and trade, finance and banking, law, and medicine are jobs the world needs more than a teacher or writer. The things that you want to do may not lead you down an easy road to success. You definitely won’t get to where to want to be that quickly. You need the drive and patience to not give up.
Success will never be easy if you’re a teacher. You won’t be making much. You will be overworked. You might have to work two other jobs, at least. You will have to take care of other personal projects as they come. You have to fight your own battles out there you creative soul.
Success may make or break you. I hope that it will make you stronger, but it could very well be very hard to achieve and that alone could break you until you are a shattered mess. Hold strong and remember that success is not a shot in the dark but a glowing bright light in a room full of shadows.
You got this. I got this. We all got this.
(cover/featured image via Pexels photo gallery through WordPress).
It’s not like you mean to. It’s not like you want to either. You tell yourself that you are ok, that you are doing fine–great even. It is to no avail. You are in a terrible state of heartache that you fear you are only covering up and not setting free.
It’s a great tragedy of the world that heartbreak happens to everyone. At any point in one’s life. It just does. Most people find a way to get through it one way or another, while others avoid talking about it for some time as a way to help with coping. No one is saying this out loud, but what one really needs is to go back to what they once had but not in the same way because that would be a step backward but in a way that reminds them that those memories were great for a reason. Hopefully, by now you have figured out that you need to own up to which memories you are willing to part with. Because you must.
You do not need to be defined by a certain set of life experiences or background. You probably don’t need to be defined by anything, however, society and the workplace would think differently. In which case, it’s important to reframe what we want and make that our goal. Don’t let past mistakes or judgments cloud your thoughts. It’s not about that, it’s about what you want right now.
It won’t be easy. It will be a long road and you will probably revert back to your old ways at some point if your plans fall through. If your old self was a bad version of yourself that you disliked, then force yourself away from that mindset. Strive to create a better you just by writing down three things you will do in one day. It will make you rebalance and restructure what matters most. Possibly lead you to wonder who matters most, though in the cases where you are confident in what you want you don’t need to question who or what matters the most. In all cases, you should matter most. However, we usually forget this and focus all energy on other tasks. More important things we like to say.
Maybe you just miss what you used to have. Or maybe not at all. Yes, you do, you sincerely and honestly do miss things and people at times. It’s a truth that not everyone can say because it admits to having some fears. Missing a home when you are away or missing family or missing friends are all things that you might feel constantly. You move on though because “missing” is too much and you don’t have time for too much. Not today anyway. You forget, though that the experiences you had make you great. They make you who you are. Miss out on not reaching the goals you thought about way back when and you start to think that you are doing something wrong.
Reminder: You are doing everything right in the best way that you can
It would seem that people are always going to be misguided in some way. They might say that no, not me. I’m perfect. I’m a shining star. However, at some point or another most all of us have fallen prey to the idea that we could be greater than ourselves, greater than what we can afford to be. It’s not a worthless idea, in fact, its good to have dreams as it keeps the mind healthy and active (source: me). The problem arises when the ideas are not realistic and are set into motion anyway.
Maybe you really like bowling, but you haven’t done it for a while. Whenever you do play, its strikes all around though because you’re just that good. Everyone wants you on their team. They tell you to join a bowling league. You think it could be cool, so why not? is what you ask yourself. So cool, now you’re a bowler. Now what? Basically, you start to think about other things you could be doing that are out of your everyday life. What about quitting your job and becoming a YouTuber? What about traveling to South America, because you have that thing called wanderlust and need to travel, according to some article you read. Of course, you could have the idea that you move to Canada because healthcare is free. All of these ideas and “goals” are based on a logic that you are failing in what you are currently doing. Don’t buy into that. Why?
Because YouTube is hard. Maybe 11 years ago it was cool to start a new channel and be someone big, but now many of the big stars of YouTube have an agent, or contract, or company that they work for. There is also a lot of sponsored content as well. It’s not all bad, though fooling ourselves into believing we will be great stars overnight without a large team behind us may not work out as we hoped. You also don’t need to travel. When we lust after something, that’s just a desire to have that thing in our life. Once it is gone, we move on and seek comfort in the things that we are used to. However, you could also move abroad someplace and dramatically change your life. And Canada? Sure, It’s great, but where are you from? Where is your home and will you find it in Canada? If your answer is not a surefire yes then you have no reason to leave just yet.
So keep on keeping on. Keep up the good fight. Keep the battle strong. All those euphemisms for life. You can do it without the gimmicks, you are your own person.
What are you doing these days that you wish you could do more of? Is it reading? Is is exercising? Is it talking to your family more? Less time indoors, more time outdoors? It’s always the same. There’s never enough time, or so we like to believe when we schedule ourselves within the confines of a regular 24-hour day.
You are probably out of time. You probably just rushing to read this so you can do the next boring thing you have to do. No, you have time. You always do. It’s in our heads that there is not enough time. The great fear is that we are not spending our time wisely, that we are not doing things that are worthy of “time.” However, this undermines what is valuable: You. You may know this or you may just read this blankly knowing that the time for reading is short anyway.