The art of failing

You forgot to pick up the milk again. You forgot to make sure that you will be writing down your goals this week or this month and now you are flailing around trying to “just get through the week.” Stop sucking and start being awesome is what I’m trying to say.

So you failed. Not a big deal, but at the moment in which the failure is happening that is not what you want to hear. You want to hear why you failed. Why are you screwing up so badly? Again? A common refrain you might utter: what did I do wrong? You probably forgot to check something or do that other thing or tell someone something. Either way, it’s on you only because you said so

Here’s a piece of advice that you can either take to heart or ignore completely (no in between, because you might be a cynic at this point): There are too many definitions of failure, but they will all amount to the basic idea that success was not or is not achieved. Or the second result from Google: 2. the omission of expected or required action. One might not know what that action is or refers to, but it is not reaching the goal. Trying and failing is standard in the book of failures. Those that live a life in which everything amounts to lowered expectations are not seeing failure for what it is. It is the idea of giving up, of throwing in the towel, all those euphemisms.

Failure is not an excuse to stop trying, but a reason to try differently. It is not a sign of your weakness that you feel the need to stop, but a sign of your own limits. Know those limits, you don’t have to cross them until you feel you are ready. Or maybe your limits will sink you like comfort sinks you like an anchor. It’s great to try, but even greater is the willingness to try a new idea. A new way to think about analyzing failure will eventually lead you to small successes. You will get that job. You will get a new place. You will find growth in your own small victories. Of course, analyzing too hard will only lead you to rethink everything and view failure as the only option.

It’s by design that way. You are already failing, so what’s another courageous try going to do?

Let’s try to have those new ideas and embrace all the bad flaws. The bad flaws are the good flaws now, now don’t go googling any more articles that leave you questioning.

Here’s to you. You are the most underrated human that is so awesome in your not fails.

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Giphy source: Busch Beer
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Strive on

Don’t fall down. Or fall over. That might be worse. Unless that is your aim. It’s hard to tell what aim people have these days and what those aims mean, if anything.

Don’t be aimless. Be purposeful in your thinking. In your everyday. In the pursuit of the things that bring you great joy. Whatever or wherever that may be. Continue to strive for happiness that is equal measures practical and real. Maybe you have found what you’re looking for or maybe you have not, but hopefully, it ends up the way you would like it to.

We become realists when we begin to think of endings for ourselves. We envision how our lives might play out with what we have (or don’t have). Maybe we would like more, but know it won’t happen. We think about aging, we think about people, we think about mortality. Death is an ugly word but is one which we all think about on the days when things get too hard. For some of us, that is every day while  for others it is an every day they wish to avoid at all costs.

If you’re trying to find the answers through someone else, you probably won’t find them. You probably will not get to the place you need to. The place of hope and dreams. Maybe you’ll get there someday, but it hasn’t happened for you yet and you’re somehow ok with that.

So maybe you’re doing great or better than that even. Regardless, have a fantastic week, month, and rest of the year.

 

(cover image from Pexels photo gallery via WordPress)

Misguided but not worthless

It would seem that people are always going to be misguided in some way. They might say that no, not me. I’m perfect. I’m a shining star. However, at some point or another most all of us have fallen prey to the idea that we could be greater than ourselves, greater than what we can afford to be. It’s not a worthless idea, in fact, its good to have dreams as it keeps the mind healthy and active (source: me). The problem arises when the ideas are not realistic and are set into motion anyway.

Maybe you really like bowling, but you haven’t done it for a while. Whenever you do play, its strikes all around though because you’re just that good. Everyone wants you on their team. They tell you to join a bowling league. You think it could be cool, so why not? is what you ask yourself. So cool, now you’re a bowler. Now what? Basically, you start to think about other things you could be doing that are out of your everyday life. What about quitting your job and becoming a YouTuber? What about traveling to South America, because you have that thing called wanderlust and need to travel, according to some article you read. Of course, you could have the idea that you move to Canada because healthcare is free. All of these ideas and “goals” are based on a logic that you are failing in what you are currently doing. Don’t buy into that. Why?

Because YouTube is hard. Maybe 11 years ago it was cool to start a new channel and be someone big, but now many of the big stars of YouTube have an agent, or contract, or company that they work for. There is also a lot of sponsored content as well. It’s not all bad, though fooling ourselves into believing we will be great stars overnight without a large team behind us may not work out as we hoped. You also don’t need to travel. When we lust after something, that’s just a desire to have that thing in our life. Once it is gone, we move on and seek comfort in the things that we are used to. However, you could also move abroad someplace and dramatically change your life. And Canada? Sure, It’s great, but where are you from? Where is your home and will you find it in Canada? If your answer is not a surefire yes then you have no reason to leave just yet.

So keep on keeping on. Keep up the good fight. Keep the battle strong. All those euphemisms for life. You can do it without the gimmicks, you are your own person.

(cover gif source).

That feeling

Oh hey. You know those fun, festive feelings that people get around parties? I think those should be everyday kinda feelings, ya feel? Like, getting so super excited it’s like a rush of endorphins or a runner’s high that leaves you wanting more. You don’t have to do drugs to feel insanely happy about life.

What’s a feeling that gets you so alive? Is it the reminder that you are doing some awesome things that you didn’t even take notice of before? Or possibly you are learning to tie your shoe for the first time with a brand new venture? Awesome and well done either way.

Is it an excitement that wakes you up each day or is it a sadness that “wow, this is my life now.” I hope not and if it is, then I hope you find a way out of that soon. It’s not great, I have been where you are and getting back to the good feelings will indeed make you happy. No, not just happy but you will feel rewarded because you have a purpose. You will know that you what you do is not worthless, because you are awesome! Yes, you are please don’t deny it! I hope you figure out what makes you happy real soon and stop waiting for the good vibrations to head your way (you gotta help them get there a little!)

Whatever you’re thinking as you’re reading this, I hope you know that you don’t have to do it all right now.

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gif sticker by Olivia Huynh from GIPHY

I hope you find that Friday Feeling.

The belief in me, myself, and I

I’ve been doing some thinking. Well, not real thinking. I’ll save the deep thoughts for another post and another time. But, the kind of thinking that makes me realize that I have so much to look forward to. I am worthy of so much love, even though I do not feel any love towards me. Alright, I guess that is semi-deep. Whatever, I’m a writer ok.

No, I feel the love from friends, family and those in the support circle. However, I am not getting the kind of love I want. The kind of love I might require will lead me to a broken heart (I thought I had two, but turns out I am not actually a Time Lord. Oh well). To sweeten the taste of rejection I have had for years now, I will probably turn away from what might be a good opportunity in favor of something greater. I say this while also knowing I will probably still keep trying and failing to be the best at whatever I try. You only don’t have something when you really just don’t. What I mean by that is when you stop caring and decide to throw in the towel, then you let the dizziness of sameness fall over you. This equals to rejection after rejection after rejection. After rejection. You keep going though just to make a new goal. Make a new record. Oh wow, over 5 new rejections today! I’m not saying this is me, but I am saying that this could be you if you stop believing. Believing in yourself before you ask yourself what comes next. Believing in yourself is harder to do then you might think. We like to think of ourselves as wise and cool and better than the new generation, but are we? Are we honest with ourselves as much as we would like to be? Do you have doubts about yourself? In your work? You can’t let yourself down. You matter the most. 

So, I’m still doing fairly great. Thanks for asking actually. There are ups and downs in everyone’s lives. Other things we would much rather be doing instead of what we must do. This is the way it is, but if we focus on ourselves and our own goals then no one will dare to stop us. Because we will exude confidence and that’s like attractive.

If you’re a believer, I’m a believer.

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Most probable gif source

Love thyself ❤

No carping about

How do you stop a pest from growing? How do you stop a wild animal from taking cover in your sheets? How to stop those bad directions you keep getting on Google?

No easy answer to stop grieving. Grief is as real as we think it is. Recovery makes us stronger, but it takes it time to come upon us. We shatter when we think about how we are doing without careful inflection or thoughtful analysis. We do it anyway though. The shadow of your silhouette is on fire, dear.

You’re probably worse off than you think. You surround yourself with positivity to make these reminders that you are doing terrible seem less obvious. We all know the truth here though. You are actually doing unquestionably awesome. Just don’t tell that to the people who make greeting cards or they will be out of business in a field that relies on the awe of DIY and sincerity without digital means.

We’re all fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. You’ll always be alone because as humans we just are and that’s alright. We go to work alone. We come home alone. We take a shower alone. We walk alone. We are just lonely as a people, but we forge relationships and do this thing called “synergy” a great deal in an effort to make sanity a thing of the past. We are labeled as either “introverted” or “extroverted” but in truth, we are probably neither. We are probably just waiting for the bubble to break and world to end. So, labels are stupid that way because we made them up to explain ourselves to ourselves.

So keep recovering. Keep striving, keep doing well. Recovery comes in all forms. Don’t take everything you do too seriously or you will never be happy. This is a fact. Maybe you need time away from people that care the most about you. Maybe you need space. Maybe you don’t know exactly what you need right now. That’s all perfectly ok. You will make it soon enough. If you abandon the ones that care the most, though you will really be alone so don’t forget to reach out. Help is always there.

Be well, do well. You can’t be great because you are already amazing.

Cover image is Railey Beach, TH- August 2017.

Lack of comedic timing

Remember that time when I said I was gonna do stuff. Yeah, that was a good time. It’s good that I’m doing so much for myself, but I always feel like I could be doing so much more.

I’m going to scratch all that because giving myself flack for trying is not going to help. So instead let me ponder on the power of laughter. It does a lot. Hopefully, you are doing something this very instant to try to lift your mood. This might be one way of getting there, or maybe not.

***

It’s possible that circumstances have made you weak. Made you sidestep in between your boundaries. I’m not claiming to know anything about you, because I don’t. If you’re a human the truth is that you suffer. It’s one of those traits that no one likes to admit to much because it sounds like pain and it probably is in some way. Not a great and terrible pain, not necessarily no, but a pain that recedes back and then comes back in spurts whenever there is anguish or misgivings in ones’ heart.

Maybe it’s the moment of solitude that brings one back to their senses. Reminds them they are not alone and that life has to go on regardless of whatever their feelings say.

Whatever your feelings say. Whatever my feelings say.

Live in the present, not the past. It does nothing for your emotional health to dwell forever. If you can, relish in the good times and wonder just how you got so lucky. How you happened to exist on the planet that you’re on.

For just a small fragment of time, you could start to imagine a world in which you feel pure happiness. Not unreal or shrouded in doubt but the kind that makes you wonder why you struggle with pain at all. That’s right. You. 

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