Posted in changes, family, life, personal

The post about parents

My last post was related to more and more millennials living at home. Mostly because parents let them stay there, but also because society says its ok to keep them there. I did read one person on Twitter who said something like: “That’s disgusting.” in response to more young people moving back home. But, what about in Europe? Depending on your home situation of course, living at home can maybe take a toll in the long run but it should not be “disgusting” in the least bit but a place to feel comforted and supported. I could go on about the topic for days and days, but that’s not what this post is going to be about. I wanted to come back and write about parents in general. Yeah, i get that not everyone has them or even a full set of them. But, hey just because you might live with both doesn’t mean their perfect either. Of course understandably, they are not terrible beings either. The heart of a parent probably lies somewhere in caring more and pretending to care less.

That doesn’t really make sense because I didn’t word it right, but they either care or they don’t. No in between with these folks. Maybe they give you money or maybe they don’t and maybe they care about your achievements (mom’s always will if no one else) or maybe they they just don’t give a damn. They are though these people that want to hear from you and know what’s going on in your life because it interests them. You can make them proud at any age.

Stepping away from the sappiness, let me just say that my parents are pretty positive in terms of making sure that I succeed and go forth.

via GIPHY

Maybe that sounds cheesy, but I’m being real here. They only want the best and though they might be the harshest (AT THE SAME TIME as being the best critics, like come on who else can do this?) In reality, parents want success and though they might not be successful they want you to be. Don’t turn down encouragement. That’s just weird. When we get older, I think we realize that we were mean as teens (well, the nice people anyway) and start to take into account what our parents have told us.

I’m going away to live in a big city that I don’t know a whole lot about just because.

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I need to and my parents understand. It’s hard to let go, but you know that you need to yourself (maybe more so sometimes). It’s hard to let go. It seems sometimes that mom’s are easier than dad’s at this, but maybe it different for everyone. In my experience, my dad (if he had it his way) I would never leave him and stay with him forever.

Good job to my dad (the bond between a father and daughter is strong) for holding out the past month while my sister has been away. It’s been a month. Like I mean, there’s been some emotions and stuff.

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If you’re reading this, then maybe you miss or yearn for your parent right now. It’s ok, give him/her a call. They won’t mind.

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Posted in changes, family, goals, life, personal, self-actualization

Home is home (wherever that is for you)

Maybe we limit ourselves. Maybe we don’t think out of the box too much because we’re scared. There’s little doubt that these things and more are true. You, see a recent article in The New York Times Magazine on boomerang offspring, aka kids still living at home after the age of 23 reminded of how much a generation doesn’t force on itself because well..internet.

No, this is the reason I blame for a lot of things. Unless you’re able to restrict your internet time and put it to good use every day, chances are you have wasted time online at one time or another if not every day (but not right now, because this is a great post amirite? ;).

Anyway, I can relate with this theory and idea that millennials do not really have it easy. Some might say that they don’t try so much, with others calling them “the me, me, me generation” or making lists of how millennials are ruining certain industries or careers. There’s a lot out there. You either agree or disagree. Sometimes there is a middle ground, where people are like “but that’s not everyone!” Is it? You begin to lose hope and feel diminished (adding to greater misery) by reading and coming across articles that pull a certain group of the population down. I’ll admit that I fall into the group that doesn’t really know how her life is going to pan out and yes that does bother me. In fact, it freaks me out sometimes. I don’t have a plan, but I’m not “winging it” either. I have the guidance and support of my family to be able to lean back on. Of course, I don’t want to lean on my parents for the rest of my life which is why I made a conscience decision to move out of state into a much larger city. Jumping headfirst into uncharted territory, knowing chances aren’t going to come along unless I go for them myself.

Not everyone can do this though. I understand that. I’m going to be real here and say that I could move faraway, but I’ll probably always come back to my parents wherever they are. Because it’s good to have something to come back to. You’re not a failure. I’m saying this while remembering countless times where I pretty much cried myself to sleep thinking sad thoughts like this. It’s hard to get past and in many ways, I’m still in that place. I know that many are not going to leave what they know.  Because comfort sinks you like an anchor.

Moving away from me though, here is what some Twitter users had to say about that article and millennials in general:

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Yeah, I don’t really know.

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Know this though. Home is home. Do what you want, write want you want, and read what you want (hopefully you read, if not then you’re lying because you just read this). I’m one of those people that give advice, but doesn’t really follow it. What I’m trying to say is find your happy place. It’s probably not wallowing at home. I know it’s not. Being at home can get own on you, especially if your parents are not really the most supportive about it. Go outside. Ride a bike. Go for a walk. Go to the park. Get off the internet. It will give you something to do and this is probably what I’m about to do when I get done writing this.

Ok, this is getting kind of sad maybe. I hope wherever you’re reading this, its somewhere you know you are supported and loved. No one deserves to be a toxic environment. If you are in such a place, leave as fast as you can (if you can!)

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I’m also not one to give hugs. No, really ask anyone that knows me. Hugs are not my thing. But, you made it to the end and you should know by now that someone out there thinks you’re awesome. Have an awesome day and smile! 🙂

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Posted in changes, family, goals, life, media

Indecision

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There’s a saying that goes like: “To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult” (this is a quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe). It’s hard to put into so many words what we want, because really we don’t know what that is. I think that it’s pretty easy to forget what we really want when we find ourselves being influenced by others or what others think is the best. Like, society or family.

Take higher education. You graduate from high school and the assumption is that you go on to college/university, which most do. This is all great and wonderful, like you learn new things in college right? Maybe, maybe not. You’re sure as heck not going to know what to do next and probably you will find yourself at some type of crossroads. The crossroads between moving far away from everything you know (that being family) and staying and giving back, plus the option of probably being unemployed. You’ll make it to the end of that line as you stand on the stage at graduation, but once the diploma is with you some months later all shiny and new the magical feeling goes away real quick. Maybe some people go back home and decide to regroup or whatever, while they search for a job (maybe still a little naive that they will find something soon). Others will be in luck and find a job which might not be their dream job but at least its something, so they have no right to complain. And yet, there will be those that want to get away. Anywhere, really. If giving back makes them happy, then they do that but it’s not for everyone. Giving back overseas (somewhere like South America or rural Africa) for aid and help hints at the idea that this particular person might not know what the heck they are doing with their life and they desperately want out, but they want to keep working somehow. I’m describing someone I know, but that’s another story.

So, other people influence us. But, the greatest influence comes from our own minds and we all know that but we cannot take that information and use it to help us. Information can sometimes crowd our brains and we don’t know what to do, so we want to give up. It’s probably a bad idea, but we do it anyway because we think it’s the way to go.

If you happen to be reading this and you’re in college, then know that not knowing is only part of the plan. If you’re undecided or exploratory, then know that no major will probably ever fit you and that’s fine. If you need to travel, then do so. If you need to get away for awhile, then gently tell those around you. You can’t always do everything you want, but if you try you can decide what you think you might want. And that’s close enough sometimes.

Posted in family, life

Still trying to make sense of life

So, I guess summer is over. It was pretty good, but now I guess I have nothing to get back to further illustrating the point that I need to figure out what my plans are. And sooner, rather than later. Writing in here probably helps to make me write, but I don’t do it enough. Going to try, but I always say that and nothing happens.

It was a good summer though, I will say that. I had a lot of family visit, then it was Ramadan, then I went to the mountains with my family oh and don’t forget the trips to Chicago as well. Yea, it was def enjoyable. I actually look back on the past few months and smile because (not that it was worry free) it was just a good time and a lot of good memories were made. I will get back into things. It takes time, but I’m trying. I am (sorta).

What I want is there to be some book with all the answers, but that will never exist and there will never be any app that comes close. All I have to do is take a step back and decide what I want. No holding back. First of all, I should keep writing. Second of all, keep applying. Third of all, get out there and explore places. I’m not getting anywhere by just staying at home. Lastly, don’t think too hard about the future (a hard one). These are all things I want to do in the next few months, in addition to finishing some last grad school applications (should already be done but whatever). Who says that summer is the only time when one can be happy and in their element? No one. I’m changing the rules.

I hope I do what I write sometimes.

Posted in family, life

In times of strife, we must look at the happy moments.

So, it’s me again. Desperately trying not to be a loser but sorta kinda failing horribly. Luckily, though I am signed up to write for at least 4 websites and organizations so I guess I better get to it…tomorrow. Yeah, that happened.

It happens all the time. But, I’m trying to ignore it try to make room for more exciting venues. Example: “Hey, you! (me) It’s summer, be happy and stuff!” Or, just go and watch my little sister graduate from high school. A proud moment. I’m glad she made it this far, but today’s teens are so much more different than they were when I was in high school. The internet has taken over everyone’s life and has made many leave so many tasks undone, not really procrastination but just laziness. A girl who gave one of the speeches today reminded us all that we spend much too much time online, this sparked a conversation about technology and the effect it has on our productivity which is really something that should be an everyday conversation. We’re all affected. Technology kills us all, but the ones’ that succeed are the one’s that have learned to use it in moderation and understand its limits.

I’m fairly happy currently (not that anyone cared). Hoping for a significant life change, but until then I’m ok with celebrating the occasional happy moment and the times when family are most important.

The love from within is the love which truly matters.

Also, I like using gifs. More gifs in more posts is what I say! And pictures, if I can! Because, well, “you only live once but sometimes once is enough.” ~ Mae West.

Posted in family, life

“So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us.”

I can’t give in to the feeling that this is all for nothing. I’m trying my best, but sometimes one does feel as though the best is not enough.

Sometimes, I don’t know what to do. I’m happy on some days, then sad and confused another.  Not sure what to make of anything really anymore. I just want answers and I just don’t want to be alone. I want to do something worthwhile, though I know I’ve been saying that for awhile now. But, I really mean it. I don’t (can’t) end up being some loser who just sits at home writing online. That is me and no, I recognize that doesn’t make me loser because there are plenty of people who do that. But, I want to try something different too. Build my resume in new ways. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just want something new and fresh. The decisions and thoughts in my head are turning to mush.

This is what I’m currently thinking when I feel the need to give up, knowing it can’t be how I might envision it to be:

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Most of the time, though I recognize that I can’t be everywhere
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So, I suppose that makes me lower my expectations of the future a bit. For, the most part though I am trying. I am doing something by trying.

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I get migraines thinking too much, but writing helps me get focused on what I need to do.

So, I smile knowing that I can’t do everything and laugh realizing that I am not going to be a millionaire or win any lottery. I also keep being me, because that’s all I know how to be.

It also helps to know that people are looking out for you and have not given up on you. So if I keep believing, you can too.

“Here we go back, this is the moment. Tonight is the night we’ll fight till it’s over.”

(all gifs from tumblr, lyrics from Mackelmore’s song “Can’t Hold Us.” All images belong to their respective owners.)

Posted in changes, family, life

Family is Everything

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They say family is everything. If this is true, why do our families sometimes make us feel as though we are crazy or helpless. Depends on your family or even what your version of family is. These days it can be hard to separate truth from fiction, or really life from fantasy. What matters is finding yourself among the remains of what is left of your former self to build a better you.

I’ve been through a lot in life. I’m still going through a lot, it’s not going to be over anytime soon. The struggles and pain are what make me though. I just have to keep telling myself that I am not alone, even though it feels like that and I don’t really know if I even believe what I tell myself anyway. I think I’m going through some kind of twenty-something crisis. Possibly a millennial thing, I don’t really know. Life can be a blur sometimes, in that everyday just collapses into another and they stop having meaning. But, the point is to find meaning out of life not necessarily every day.

If you have a good family, with people who love and support you then this is where they come in. Your family is like no one else. Like no other group of people you will encounter in your life because they don’t actually care about what you do or who you want to be. They love you for you. Whoever your family is or whoever you call your family, don’t let them out of your life. They exist to be there for you and your are there for them. It’s how the cycle works. No one understands why someone who grows up in a small town never comes back, it’s because there was nothing there to begin with. A person only comes back to the place that is home because there is love there. There is no judgement there or stares. It’s not holing up in your parent’s house, no its a collective presence of people. Not really all in one place, but the presence is felt at once anyway.

So, we all have to work on ourselves. We’re not perfect beings. No one said we were. An example: A girl cries as her mother reaches out to hold her, resistant of any touch and  scared to feel that love again. Unaware at the same time that while her heart is breaking that the love she really needs has been right next to her the entire time. At this moment, the heart inside the girl begins to give out and she closes her eyes and begins to cry once again hopeless while hoping that there is a future that is still bright for her out there. Then, her mother looks at her with concern knowing that her daughter is not a child anymore and she too begins too cry because she wants to help her but doesn’t know how. This is what happens when we are afraid to open our hearts to the one’s who only want to love us (side note: this is a random story and has nothing to do with me).

The most I can say is that everybody has their problems. Every family might have their problems, but if it matters to you to have them in your life then fight to have them. Love will prevail. Whatever your going through or how crazy your family is, it cannot be as crazy as this family.

Best to all reading and keep smiling, if you can it lightens the heart a bit.

“One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.” –William Feather (the quote of the day for April 27)