Posted in changes, failure, goals, inspiration

On Success (pt. 3)

Maybe someone once told you that you can’t do something and now it’s making you feel like more than a failure than usual. Someone might have told you “if this can’t work next month, then goodbye” or “hope it all works out for you.” These are only examples of things that will bring your self-esteem more down than you need it to be.

To get that self-esteem back, the best thing to remember is that you can’t live up to any expectations others set. You are your own person and you have your own goals. Achieve them on your own time and level. It’s best to think about it this way: Your success does not denote you to the same achievements as others, because those goals are not always what you really want.

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Photo by Sayantan Kundu on Pexels.com

What you really want then is to carve out a kind of goal that makes you feel fulfilled. Makes you wonder how you got so lucky at that thing called life. You didn’t, luck is not part of the deal it’s all chance and hard work (unless you don’t play by the rules).

You will get pushed aside and disregarded. It’s part of the goal to get you to a happier place and despite your best efforts, you will still not get where you need to be and what you want without a little pushback. The key is to not let those negative pushes turn into drawbacks for you. Keep striving and keep fighting.

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Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

The biggest battle to fight is that which is within yourself. You might not ever overcome it, or pull back from it in pieces and shards only. This is fine, as long as it makes you remember to stay on the path and push forward. Mistakes are just that: Mistakes. They are not an error on you or your character, think differently about your past choices this way.

You’re doing great, why stop now?

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Posted in changes, failure, inspiration, life, personal, self-actualization

On success (pt. 1)

It’s likely that this year you have faced some failures. Some mishaps. Found yourself on a path that you’re not entirely proud of, but you are hoping for the best at this point. You are pretty certain that you are doing ok, but not sure what steps to take next to be great. The struggle comes from the realization that you are and probably always will be a failure in some way.

In the same vein though, you are the exact opposite of that. You are thriving and growing each and every day. Yay you! Alright, so let’s say it’s five years from now, you have achieved what you wanted and satisfaction is oh so sweet. You’re feeling not just happy, but pure contentment in your life and choices. Something is nagging at you though and it is the need to create. As humans we will always want to create something, it doesn’t matter your personality type (introverted or extroverted). However, creativity can lead to different happiness levels. Maybe your feelings on a certain subject or idea will change. Maybe you will hate everything about what your life has become up to that point. Maybe you wonder if you are not actually putting your time to good use. After all, creativity is everywhere and not everyone has to be a part of that. You can buy creativity but would it mean anything to you, would it have any value?

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Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Let me say this then. You’re a teacher. You’re a writer. You’re a U/X designer. You’re an IT professional. You’re a babysitter. You’re a grocery-store clerk. You’re a bookseller. You’re a librarian. You’re a barista. You are creative, but you a part of a generation that doesn’t value you. You’re part of a society that values things that are more practical because they make more sense for future generations. Things like STEM technology, e-commerce and trade, finance and banking, law, and medicine are jobs the world needs more than a teacher or writer. The things that you want to do may not lead you down an easy road to success. You definitely won’t get to where to want to be that quickly. You need the drive and patience to not give up.

Success will never be easy if you’re a teacher. You won’t be making much. You will be overworked. You might have to work two other jobs, at least. You will have to take care of other personal projects as they come. You have to fight your own battles out there you creative soul.

Success may make or break you. I hope that it will make you stronger, but it could very well be very hard to achieve and that alone could break you until you are a shattered mess. Hold strong and remember that success is not a shot in the dark but a glowing bright light in a room full of shadows.

You got this. I got this. We all got this.

(cover/featured image via Pexels photo gallery through WordPress).

Posted in changes, failure, personal

Redeeming qualities

I don’t think its likely that you have any bad qualities. It might be that you have some of the things that people warn you about to avoid while also having “tendencies.”

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Stars gif by https://giphy.com/liviafalcaru/

Those tendencies are what lead us to different ways of thinking, or imagining what we could be if we didn’t try so hard to fail. It’s possible that you have ignored all advice and failed anyway. There is a bright light in there somehow that reminds you that you are doing the best you can in the current circumstances. It’s all fine and good until the luck starts to change for you and second-guessing everything becomes your nature.

This isn’t meant to be dreary or look down on anyone. It’s just a reminder that you are still working hard every day to do and be well because you are scared of a terrible outcome. Don’t worry, most of us are. It will come with time that you realize that the only thing holding you back is yourself. You might tend to favor the more comfortable over the more arduous and the more mundane over the spontaneous. You tell yourself that “no, not me. I’m different” but the truth is that it’s hard to change what is so every day. It’s hard to become a different version of yourself.

You really shouldn’t have to change yourself, unless you feel it would lead you somewhere amazing. Even then, never change a thing about your character, your personality, and yes even your personal tendencies. Those small things make you who you are and continue to push you every day (your ticks will push you every day to do whatever it is you need to do/or not do).

Keep striving through the bad times.

Posted in changes, goals

Reorganizing

It’s a time when goals are changed. Reassessed to see if they are doing what they should be. Sometimes those goals are not met, causing one to reevaluate what has gone wrong. Because something went wrong. Somewhere.

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If you’re feeling like you messed up or you need to push yourself a little more, then stop wondering and make a plan. This is probably easier said than done, however making a plan and staying with it will help to keep you on track and not feel as though you are terribly failing.

An idea to do just that:

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Log off. Right now, or at least finish reading this since you started (but if you stop here, then I wouldn’t even be mad). It sounds so so simple, but it’s really not. At any time today, I can almost guarantee that you will spend more than 20 minutes just scrolling through social media feeds on your phone.

I don’t know your life or your job, but it is likely you have a smartphone and love your various apps. Everyone does, but admitting to this is not the easiest for anyone.

Some like to say they are social media “lightweights” (this is what I would say because I was classified as this once in a quiz taken in some museum). Others will say they are “heavyweights” because they need social media as it not only part of their job or work but also their life. Alright, not a problem. Everyone can do their own thing, whatever. The idea is that you make the choice of what you want to do next. Make the choice that serves you best.

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Hopefully, this means you strategize. Rethink and replan what your life looks like from here to the next two years. Or just six months. Planning ahead might seem difficult, especially if you don’t have much currently so everything goes to the bills.

However, planing out ahead still has long-term strengths in that it will aid in helping you work towards more achievable goals. I couldn’t say what those goals are (different for everyone), but maybe its something like saving up for a new car. What kind of car do you want? Are you willing to compromise? Organize a plan for how this will happen now and maybe six months or a year from now you will get that car you want. You will feel so great once you achieve the goal you have been seeking out for so long.

After that, you will continue to work towards rewards that you set for yourself (however, please please do not go crazy and overspend). Money is valuable but not as valuable as you.

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gif from here (tumblr and giphy)

Keep reaching those goals, friends. ❤

Posted in changes, inspiration, life

Tempermental

It’s a rare thing to find someone to love forever. You will not love yourself forever, how can one expect to love another?

If you were recently married then you might be currently thinking the opposite, but love is probably one of those things that change with the wind. It might always be there, but it will continue to adapt and assimilate into new forms. Maybe you’ll stop loving that part of them that you thought you loved. Maybe you believed that a stronger bond would heal everything that needed healing. Maybe it worked for you, but maybe it didn’t either. It’s also quite possible that you are waiting for something or someone to come your way and provide you with the answers you want to hear. You might never get those answers or the person you want, but you might be alright with that. Or maybe you just settle for what you get.

There’s a weakness in all of us just waiting to be pushed out. It’s just a glimmer in the highlight of your accomplishments (you will get some great ones, don’t worry). It takes a strong and courageous person to say “I can do it” and actually mean it. To not fall through because it got too hard or unexpectedly risky. Uncharted waters can lead to the greatest discoveries. You’ll never know if you keep wondering instead of acting on what you feel (nothing criminal, mind you).

So maybe you have a good feeling that today will be a good day. And maybe it will, what do I know? However, it could also be a day in which you feel like turning into a heap without any warning. Without any reason, because there doesn’t always need to be one.

Live your best life. Feel inspired by your past mistakes as a reason to stop settling and start choosing greatness. You can be great and you can certainly be happy. It’s not just a state of mind, it’s also a feeling.

 

[cover image via Pexels gallery on WordPress.]

Posted in changes, goals, inspiration, self-actualization

No carping about

How do you stop a pest from growing? How do you stop a wild animal from taking cover in your sheets? How to stop those bad directions you keep getting on Google?

No easy answer to stop grieving. Grief is as real as we think it is. Recovery makes us stronger, but it takes it time to come upon us. We shatter when we think about how we are doing without careful inflection or thoughtful analysis. We do it anyway though. The shadow of your silhouette is on fire, dear.

You’re probably worse off than you think. You surround yourself with positivity to make these reminders that you are doing terrible seem less obvious. We all know the truth here though. You are actually doing unquestionably awesome. Just don’t tell that to the people who make greeting cards or they will be out of business in a field that relies on the awe of DIY and sincerity without digital means.

We’re all fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. You’ll always be alone because as humans we just are and that’s alright. We go to work alone. We come home alone. We take a shower alone. We walk alone. We are just lonely as a people, but we forge relationships and do this thing called “synergy” a great deal in an effort to make sanity a thing of the past. We are labeled as either “introverted” or “extroverted” but in truth, we are probably neither. We are probably just waiting for the bubble to break and world to end. So, labels are stupid that way because we made them up to explain ourselves to ourselves.

So keep recovering. Keep striving, keep doing well. Recovery comes in all forms. Don’t take everything you do too seriously or you will never be happy. This is a fact. Maybe you need time away from people that care the most about you. Maybe you need space. Maybe you don’t know exactly what you need right now. That’s all perfectly ok. You will make it soon enough. If you abandon the ones that care the most, though you will really be alone so don’t forget to reach out. Help is always there.

Be well, do well. You can’t be great because you are already amazing.

Cover image is Railey Beach, TH- August 2017.

Posted in changes, goals, inspiration, life

sui generis

Sometimes we want to be different. Sometimes different means loving the wrong people or taking the wrong advice. We think we will find a new and unique way, but then realize that the others were right and there is no way out of the predicament we might have found ourselves in.

Let me say that with all honesty that the people closest to you are not always right. They might not have your best interests at heart, heck they might not even know your interests because they just want you around whatever your likes or dislikes may be. That’s all fine and good, but what happens when you find yourself alone again because everyone wants to move on. Letting you move on could be hard to comprehend, but might make all the sense to your family or friends. You need to be there for them and so you will, but you don’t have to feel like you need to be present for all those times either. If you are, that’s great and if not don’t sweat it out too much. It didn’t happen that you could stay in the same small town or big city and it didn’t work that you ever wanted to. “You let this happen” is what you might get told. “You want to leave” (oh the scandal!) is what they say. You are a fighter though and know that you need to try something different in order to come back even stronger than before. The ones that matter the most will understand and will support whatever decision you choose to make.

But be confident in that decision. Don’t be playin’ either. If you know what you want, you can say it easily. You can speak about it freely to friends without having to think about it first. That’s when you are sure about something. When you are not sure, you will get told to “find something around here” or at least “settle down” (or maybe that’s just a thing mom’s say?). Either way, you are putting yourself out there in a way you might not have felt comfortable with before. You are letting yourself feel vulnerable. I hope it is the best kind of vulnerable because you are so worth it.

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So be weird, be authentic to you. You’re different and the person writing this is also different. We might not all be wired the same, but when we need to be we know when to reach for our dreams in a big way (or at least as big as our small pockets can take us).

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