I am a writer. A reader. I want to learn more about the world around me. Far from perfect, but trying to enjoy the simple moments in life which make one most happy. This is the blog where I write about life, random things and ponder about the great questions no one seems to really understand deeply.
That feeling of feeling lost or overwhelmed is evident when you decide to not set goals. Maybe you say you have “no goals”, but ultimately everyone has an endgame. There is a destination that we’re all hoping to get to one day, hopefully not by wasted dream but instead by manifested reality.
In all my wildest dreams, I always imagined myself to be doing the things that matter. The things that will make me a “somebody,” as if I am not already. It is as if I have some kind of aim to be famous, but no exact direction to get there. My kind of fame is the sort where I wonder what I am doing wasting my time with no plan, but feel happy regardless. No, not happy in spite of or because of. Simply happy, because I do have what I need.
Anyway, as I’m reflecting on how to get myself out there I know I don’t need to at the same time. I can be content being a nobody to most people, because to the ones that count I am a somebody. Also, according to physics, we are all just bits of stars.
I’ve been getting bad at getting to the things I keep telling myself I “mean to do.” It’s December and I know I won’t get to them. Admitting this is the first step probably key to not losing your mind.
I’m fairly certain I am wasting a lot of time when I am not writing. However, this month is looking to be a good one. I am giving myself a social media free month and so far it is going great and I am happy (not that I wasn’t before, but my productivity levels seem increased). I do still acknowledge that I enjoy sleeping but on the days that I have to work early are those that I feel more content later about.
As most people reflect on a year (well-spent or otherwise), I wonder how I fell back into the “home” trap. The saying goes that “comfort sinks you like an anchor” and that is certainly true when referencing one’s safe home, the place where one is at ease and comfortable the most. I can’t say I’ll ever really step out of this trap, but I’d like to find a home someplace else. Someplace different to challenge me once more.
Anyway, for lack of explanation I am grateful for this life. I am hopeful, but also level-headed and realistic. Optimism is great, but so is having some disposable income.
That might have sounded selfish, but then the world is selfish and frankly, I am part of the problem and not always the solution.
It would seem that in most areas of life, people are trying to get by on the promise of greatness someone else told them. It’s possible that greatness will not be achieved nor will it amount to any real goals. Not unless it is acted upon.
I’ve noticed that people that do great are those that, among other things, are early risers. Now, I do love sleeping but I also love to be productive and not waste time in the day. In a habit that I could break any day now, I wake up way before the sun and then stay up working on other tasks that take time but are better achieved in the morning hours. The reason for my early get-up has to do with the online work I do, but I have grown to see the benefits of waking up early the more that I do it.
There a feeling of duty and not laziness. Sure, you might love to crawl back into bed and into those warm blankets but you got yourself up for a reason. You want to work on a certain task(s) and this is the time to do it. Yes social media is there, but it’s quiet. Most people are sleeping when you are working on your self. Great work. Maybe if you’re up for it, you can squeeze in a morning workout as well. This can help energize the rest of your day and 11 pm will really start to feel like how your mother described it once as “half the day gone” because you have been so productive in the morning.
So maybe you’re reading this while drinking coffee. Maybe you’re sick and lying on your computer all day. It’s possible you don’t want to be a morning person. No one said you had to be, you do have to find the way to make your goals happen that work best for you.
Maybe someone once told you that you can’t do something and now it’s making you feel like more than a failure than usual. Someone might have told you “if this can’t work next month, then goodbye” or “hope it all works out for you.” These are only examples of things that will bring your self-esteem more down than you need it to be.
To get that self-esteem back, the best thing to remember is that you can’t live up to any expectations others set. You are your own person and you have your own goals. Achieve them on your own time and level. It’s best to think about it this way: Your success does not denote you to the same achievements as others, because those goals are not always what you really want.
What you really want then is to carve out a kind of goal that makes you feel fulfilled. Makes you wonder how you got so lucky at that thing called life. You didn’t, luck is not part of the deal it’s all chance and hard work (unless you don’t play by the rules).
You will get pushed aside and disregarded. It’s part of the goal to get you to a happier place and despite your best efforts, you will still not get where you need to be and what you want without a little pushback. The key is to not let those negative pushes turn into drawbacks for you. Keep striving and keep fighting.
The biggest battle to fight is that which is within yourself. You might not ever overcome it, or pull back from it in pieces and shards only. This is fine, as long as it makes you remember to stay on the path and push forward. Mistakes are just that: Mistakes. They are not an error on you or your character, think differently about your past choices this way.
I was recently reminded that not everything is easy. Just because you might have had one great, but ultimately unfulfilling experience that looks great on a resume doesn’t mean that you will have success with your next endeavors. In all probability, you will fail and fail terribly. It might take some time to come to the realization that what others around you already know: Success must be earned and takes time.
Being someone that for some reason wants to teach, it’s not easy to step into the field. In a time when everyone is cynical and few actually appreciate teachers, being able to do the job right is a strength that many lack. This includes me. I hope that over time, I will be able to look back on the students I have worked with and feel proud to have been in their life. I already have some students who I know I am influencing directly in a positive way. I know that every student is different and not everyone learns the same either. I know that managing a classroom is the hardest part of teaching and I haven’t really mastered it yet. I know where my strengths lie and know ways to make my weaknesses better, however, I do admit to having limits as well. As do most people. I’m certainly no expert in the education field, but working and helping with others is what I know I will continue to do in some form all my life.
Maybe I’m not passionate enough. Maybe I’m not strong enough. These are all things we might tell ourselves in order to remind us that it’s ok to fail, at least this once. Maybe the rejections hurt in the moment, but they don’t really define who we are. I know that I can’t let any bad decisions or rejections turn me upside down. I will instead focus on what I can do and why I want to do the things I do.
The truth is, it might take 30 job rejections to realize you don’t know if you want what you’re seeking. However, at 10 more rejections, you know that you can do what you set your mind to and it doesn’t matter what others might think of you. You can reach your highest potential and achieve great success within yourself.
It’s likely that this year you have faced some failures. Some mishaps. Found yourself on a path that you’re not entirely proud of, but you are hoping for the best at this point. You are pretty certain that you are doing ok, but not sure what steps to take next to be great. The struggle comes from the realization that you are and probably always will be a failure in some way.
In the same vein though, you are the exact opposite of that. You are thriving and growing each and every day. Yay you! Alright, so let’s say it’s five years from now, you have achieved what you wanted and satisfaction is oh so sweet. You’re feeling not just happy, but pure contentment in your life and choices. Something is nagging at you though and it is the need to create. As humans we will always want to create something, it doesn’t matter your personality type (introverted or extroverted). However, creativity can lead to different happiness levels. Maybe your feelings on a certain subject or idea will change. Maybe you will hate everything about what your life has become up to that point. Maybe you wonder if you are not actually putting your time to good use. After all, creativity is everywhere and not everyone has to be a part of that. You can buy creativity but would it mean anything to you, would it have any value?
Let me say this then. You’re a teacher. You’re a writer. You’re a U/X designer. You’re an IT professional. You’re a babysitter. You’re a grocery-store clerk. You’re a bookseller. You’re a librarian. You’re a barista. You are creative, but you a part of a generation that doesn’t value you. You’re part of a society that values things that are more practical because they make more sense for future generations. Things like STEM technology, e-commerce and trade, finance and banking, law, and medicine are jobs the world needs more than a teacher or writer. The things that you want to do may not lead you down an easy road to success. You definitely won’t get to where to want to be that quickly. You need the drive and patience to not give up.
Success will never be easy if you’re a teacher. You won’t be making much. You will be overworked. You might have to work two other jobs, at least. You will have to take care of other personal projects as they come. You have to fight your own battles out there you creative soul.
Success may make or break you. I hope that it will make you stronger, but it could very well be very hard to achieve and that alone could break you until you are a shattered mess. Hold strong and remember that success is not a shot in the dark but a glowing bright light in a room full of shadows.
You got this. I got this. We all got this.
(cover/featured image via Pexels photo gallery through WordPress).
This is just a new week reminder that you’ve got to keep pushing through. You’ve just got to. Yes, this is the normal new week routine, however, sticking through with a normal schedule will leave you feeling at ease and ready to start your day.
It might be easy advice. Or maybe its easier said than done, I’m not always sure. Either way, you can do one thing every day and no it will not take away from the rest of your day. It might even add to your day and make it more productive. Start your day with writing. Write about anything and write about what you like. It doesn’t need to be your goals for the day or things that need to get done. No, save that stress for right now for like an hour. Write about nothing, be random its ok.
If you’re of the many that are trying to write a novel in a month, then I applaud you and hope you stay with it. I hope you are able to keep writing and striving each day you decide to work on your novel. Maybe it won’t win any prizes and it’s most likely terrible, but keep going. Always keep that momentum going even though it might not make sense now to keep going. In fact, it might make you feel as though you are wasting time to continue on the path you are in your writing. Maybe you want to write, or you are giving up on the novel writing and it’s only the fifth day.
It’s entirely possible that you will do one of three things after reading or skimming through this blog post: Log on and watch some Netflix, read and reply to some emails, or scroll endlessly on your phone on social media. I mean, unless you have actual work to do there are not many options for you. So just, write. Write it all out. There’s nothing to lose and a lot to gain just by writing a few sentences a day.
Or if you’re me, you write a blog post more than you work on that dang novel thing.