Posted in changes, goals, hopes, inspiration

The daily

It’s a nice time of year. Not really, but what do you want me to say here?

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Every day might be a struggle, but I’m enduring it.

Every day might be more unproductive, but I’m managing it.

Every day I might be moving farther away from the person I wanted to be.

Every day I might not eat the foods that I want.

Every day I wake up and decide to do things and usually try to.

*****

Despite the small setbacks of daily life, I am fairly certain that I am doing just fine. If I am at all honest, it would be to say that I am beyond fine. I am great. Not most days, internally (in the heart), but externally I can make those faces that tell others the story they would like to hear. Maybe some more than others.

It could be that I hear from an old friend today. Or that I uncover the reason behind why I am not doing what I set out to do. The reason behind why I am slow on many projects. I take my time, I think, I analyze, I discuss, and still think it important to carve out time for me. I focus on focusing on myself but then forget about the other projects. The irony is not lost on me.

So today I will be great. Maybe not a GREAT great, but up there. Quite possibly, I’ll find the spark today and my brain will ignite with possibility. I can hope can I not?

I can be free to hope and to dream for as long as I wish. It does nothing to dream without understanding why you dream.

This is turning into a post with a mind of its own. Have a splendid day that is whatever you want it to be. As it should be.

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Posted in Uncategorized

Deserving

It’s hard to tell yourself you need something, when you spend a lot of your time telling others they don’t need more “stuff.” You don’t want to admit what you want. You don’t need the things you think are hard because you haven’t worked that hard. You just sit at home and blog and occasionally do some work is what you’re thinking.

Of course, I have to assume that you do more than that. That you have loved ones, you have responsibilities beyond this blog and that you tend to do those things in earnest more than you write some days. However, you do love writing more than anything. Above anything else even. It gives you great joy to feel as though you are doing something that will make you feel happy in some small way. Or maybe a great way, what do I know?

If you’re like me, then you might doubt yourself. You might wonder why people even consider taking a chance on you. You might decide that you already have it figured out, but at the same time people surprise you and remind you that you don’t know what “it” is.

These days, it seems like I’m constantly getting reminded to not give up. To not throw away the towel because I’m not done using it. It’s still a clean towel with plenty of use left. Alright alright, that towel analogy is sounding kind of gross. Sorry, you had to read that a second ago.

Moving onwards, I feel as though there is one thing I do continually know: I am grateful. Well, grateful is certainly one word but definitely not the only word.

Posted in books, goals, literature, writing

On books and writing

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.” –

-Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

I’d like to believe that those of you reading this actually enjoy reading. Possibly you spend a good deal of time reading even. Maybe you just got some new audiobooks (yes, these can count).

Or maybe not. It could be that you are failing in reading and you don’t seem to fathom why. “But I used to love reading!” is what you tell people. “I can’t seem to find the time to read these days.” Oh, so that’s what we’re going with then.

Don’t worry, I have also done this but I know that it does nothing to make me read. If I want to read, no one is stopping me from picking up a book and reading it. I love to get lost in a great story. It reminds you of the wonderful writers, most of who are unknown, that have not given up on their dream. If they haven’t, who says you should?

Sure, you might say you don’t want to write but you could change your mind one day. You might do something amazing and people will pay you great sums to write a memoir. Maybe they’ll make a movie about your life that is then not your life anymore. Anyway, a bit of a far reach but just know that you cannot stop trying because it might be too hard.

Besides anyone can self-publish, as anyone who writes on WordPress or other blogs knows though the likelihood of writing the “Next Great American Novel” is probably not achieved through your own means. As much as you might try.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read. Thanks for remembering that “hey, reading isn’t so bad after all!” That’s right, it’s not so bad. How, about we all try doing more of it?

Posted in goals, hopes, inspiration

I dare you

Salagadoola mechicka boola
Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
It’ll do magic, believe it or not
Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

The everyday life you lead is probably not exciting, nor is it magical in any way. You would like to say you do so many cool things all the time. Things that make you feel like you are doing something worth your time. Of course, most of what you do is always worth it, but none of us see it that way because we always will want more. Will need more, will expect more, and will pursue more.

At the very least, what you can try to be is daring. Yeah, that’s a new thing you can strive for this year. No more wallowing. Yes, you wallow and it’s time to stop.

Daring in the sense that you are willing to not only go the extra step but also take a step back and right a wrong. Don’t hold grudges even if you think forgiveness is stupid. Dare yourself to walk for ten minutes a day. Dare yourself to read for ten minutes a day. Dare yourself to get off social media for twenty minutes a day. Dare yourself to not only say you’ll drink more water but actually do it, by throwing out all that La Croix or dumping it all out. You can never really run out of dares, you can just keep struggling to make yourself do them. However, that is not a failure but is admitting you have limits like most people.

I hope you do something pretty cool today. Maybe it won’t be that daring or maybe it will. Either way, I hope you feel great about it and you take the chance to better yourself in this way.

(please don’t dare yourself to steal things or kill someone).

Words: Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo from Cinderella (written in 1948 by Al Hoffman, Mack David, and Jerry Livingston).

Posted in life, Uncategorized

It would appear

It would appear as though the month of January would like to rear its head and leave.

It would appear as though something is going to happen soon, something monumental. Maybe it’s just on the brink or maybe its leading me to wonder what the brink even is.

Quite possibly it is leading me to want to find out more about the “thing.” The great and powerful “thing” that will be coming to a year near me soon. Not sure when, as the “thing” doesn’t always announce itself but fear should be minimized as it will pop up eventually. Or, probably the opposite since it is an unknown as to what the “thing” is. So fear it, love it, or hate it. It will occur in some form.

It would appear that the “thing” then doesn’t really matter. At least I would still have my sanity, my humanity and some trace of my dignity.

Wait, though. It would appear as though no one actually cares about things such as dignity and class anymore. They should. People are not robots as much as they would like to be.

It would appear then that things are happening. Good things or bad things? It’s not for me to say.

Posted in self-actualization, Uncategorized

Note to self

Dear self:

You’re writing this feeling so tired because its 6 AM and yet another long day await you.

I’m going to give you a heads-up though and let you know that the feeling of despair might not last all day or all night. They will still be there, inevitably waiting for you to make a small mistake.

Here are five things you can do today instead of bringing yourself down:

  1. Do what you keep saying you’re going to do. What’s the point in trying new things if you’re too afraid to try them?
  2. Start a new club. Kind of goes along with the first one, but it’s what you wanted to do this year. Is it happening, yet?
  3. Go out somewhere every day. Even just to the grocery store is fine. The kind of quiet online work that you do leads to an even more quiet life, but there is still a world out there. Get some air every now and then.
  4. Share things with your family. You’re not great at this, instead of telling your family big plans as they occur. They can only help if you let them and if you are willing.
  5. Write down those daily achievements. Every little bit counts towards the end goal (whatever that may be, since it changes every day it would seem).

Also, do yoga every day. Work on your poses. Try to keep working on those splits. Read every day. Write when you can. Meditate. Relax.

Love,

Yourself.

Posted in hopes, life

Drowsiness may occur

I’m feeling rather out of sorts lately. I have been neglecting a good workout. My body is craving a great workout right now and I can hear the muscles crying, but I just feel like there’s not enough time anymore. Of course, I don’t want it to be this way, that’s definitely not the way that I want to feel.

**

I know why I am not giving myself enough time these days. It’s mostly because I’m doing too many things (mostly before the sun rises) and doing my very best to be as productive as possible every day. I also am not super well rested because of this, but yoga does help with sleep a bit.

I know I’m part of a society that essentially thrives on work and work and work and work and then more work. Or, maybe “thrive” is not the right word because most people struggle with something. I hate the feeling of being in a struggle, but I’ve always felt to be “in a struggle” job-wise all through my twenties. The feelings never really went away. It’s now that I am realizing that they never will and I am not great at action, so struggle inevitably occurs anyway. There’s no need for it though, for anyone.

*******

I think as a society we also take naps for granted. Some of us love to nap, others feel like it must be scheduled (though there are those times when you find yourself fall into a heap without any warning). Naps are great ways to build energy if it’s more mid-afternoon. However, I won’t judge you if you need to sleep after this in more of the late afternoon, stretching into evening territory.

A good sleep schedule is everything, yes. However, so is the ability to feel like you are doing something worth your time. So, you’re feeling so tired right? Just so so tired. Well, that’s ok because from what I heard life is pretty tiring you just learn how to manage yourself with new goals.

You’ll get there. I will get there too.