In a time where we don’t really understand one another because we’re all in our own worlds, I’d like to take this moment to say that I understand you.
At least I think I do. But, I’m making the assumption that if you’re reading this you’re someone who also enjoys reading in general. Like, reading for pleasure or reading for fun. Also: What does “reading for pleasure” mean besides a fancy term for reading that is not school or work related? I never say I “read for pleasure” nor have I heard someone say that to me, even if I am talking to someone who only occasionally reads. That just sounds like something you would fill out on some online form to describe yourself.
Anyway, if you take the time to consume media-to consume the everyday nuances of life then you are not understood by a lot. Because people think you’re either doomed to a life of struggle or lost in your own head. The latter is absolutely true. You’re lost. You’re trying to catch that flag waving, but its so torn now and kind of ragged that the color is basically an icky greenish brown color rather than a white one. But, I can sense that you’re trying to get the flag up. I can sense it and I think you can too, that the flag doesn’t need to go up. No. Let it go, if you want any flag in your life let it be the flag of you jumping in the air because you knew you could do it. Because you knew you had it in you. It wasn’t that impossible after all, was it? It was so much fun imagining that you could put that flag up and let people decide what to with you. You were ready. You are ready to get help.
Because the flag is not going to go up. You don’t have it in you to put something into motion, it will just stain your shirt as it makes your heart beat faster and faster.
The faster your heart beats, the more you know you’re alive. The more you realize that yes. I was meant to do this. When you put your hand on your heart and say aloud: “I can do this! I will conquer this!” You will scream this loudly and not care who hears you. If you’re in public, scream it even louder and let yourself feel a rush.
So, maybe I don’t know everything about you. But, I know this: There’s a little voice in that head of yours that is screaming to you “I can do this!” Don’t tamp down the voice. Don’t let yourself become consumed with excess worry about the thing. And most important: Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do something.
Now, go outside. It might be cold or rainy or maybe sunny (I don’t know where you live) but take a deep breath and smile because if there’s one thing you can do it’s believing in yourself.
I understand that its never easy, but its also never not easy.