I probably get the question “so what are you doing right now?” a lot or at least a fair amount when I do go out and see people. This past weekend was a holiday, so I did have to meet and be merry and of course the question came up without fail. My answer sometimes varies from “doing some journalism work” to “some teaching” or “taking online classes right now but looking for job.” People usually relate to the last one there, seeing the initiative to do more as a good sign and knowing that is is quite hard to find a lasting job these days. The people that get that are fine and conversations tend to grow from there.
You might say work with what I do have going for me, work it right? But, I’m awkward and most know it. At the same time, I do my best to sound like I’m not wasting most of my days doing nothing.
I dislike someone speaking on my behalf. I used to be able to be whatever, but I think I might be quieter than some others and maybe more of a creative thinker but I can form my own opinions and thoughts. Regardless, can we just talk about our favorite tv shows? Or no?
It’s easier to say that I can’t really figure myself out right now. But, I can’t always say that. Essentially, I’ve been in the same place for over a year. Mentally, no job and no chance where I am. Why did I come back is what I think as I write this, but know I needed to regroup before I could start back somewhere big. A bigger place means bigger dreams and larger goals. Maybe less attainable, but that’s ok. At least it will be something different and new. Though, maybe in my defense taking online classes is a little different than doing nothing at all, so not totally terrible.
I get that maybe I’m not the only one in such a position. In such a time when things don’t really make sense. When you have goals, but you feel like you don’t because those around you seem to already have their life figured out. It’s a weird place and its not the only weird stop on the ride to normal.
I really liked the gifs I used here and if I could have, I would have used some of the gorgeous illustrations found at 1000drawings.tumblr.com (with credit given of course to artists and blog). Check them out, they’re from various artists and really amazing.