goals · life · personal

The things we lost in the fire

Life’s been life. That doesn’t really say much, but truly sometimes life makes no sense.

I have been writing about random things, but it doesn’t matter because it’s something and I like it. No, not all random things. For instance, national news, stories about people or places, op-eds and such. I think it would be hard for me to be a beat reporter, but whenever I try to be something like a general assignment reporter I am usually turned away. Because I’ve never done court reporting. I have never reported on a meeting, such as a city council or school board meeting. I have not been to meetings so much in general, actually. I’m not really a meeting person, actually. But, if it was asked of me I would do it. Mostly because I would be doing it on assignment and would be getting paid for it. This is the problem I think I have all the time. What to do, what to do is what I think always.

Of course, I just don’t dwell on it (or at least try not to). I’ve come to the conclusion (maybe a hasty one, considering most of my newspaper experience is feature writing) that print newspaper is not what I want to be doing. But, I am not opposed to it and the industry is still thriving and I support that. I also support digital media and the use of multimedia sources. I need more chances to write something else, though. Not that I hate feature type writing, but I’ve never been given the chance to do anything else. I think if given the chance and opportunity I could interview someone and do a good job with it. I remember one time for a journalism class, I interviewed a local real estate agent who also served as the local commissioner. It was awkward and I felt weird for wasting his time (his opinion really did little for what I was doing, but alas I was trying and he was kind enough to see me). It’s probably at that point when I start to think that I might not find a job that I like. That I dream about (what is a dream job anyway?) It’s too hard is what I think, it’s probably not going to happen is the refrain I say everyday. Then, comes the prospect of grad school. Do I want to do it? It is wise to go into something just because one has given up on options? Would I do it otherwise? What would I do with it? I’m thinking of all these things and continued to think them when I applied to various schools for grad school, encouraged by my parents and lack of social life.

It’s a better life, it’s something to bring something else. This is ultimately what I’m telling myself these days, because what else can I do but throw everything in and hope it all turns out alright? Right, nothing left. So, I think I’ll just try to make the best of the worst. I’m going to a school that I already applied to and got in and am going to (yeah, kind of late on the visiting the school part but whatever it’s far away). I don’t know if it’s a good idea or if I should be doing it, but I get the feeling that that I have no other options.

Plus, I have a feeling this (video below) won’t happen unless my heart is in it and I know what the heck I’m supposed to be doing.

Well, that is all for now I suppose. The title of this post is a Bastille song, check them out they are awesome.

Inspiring song of the day (or at least one that is keeping my head up in last few days): The Middle by Jimmy Eat World (I know, old but still the best).

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